What to do when they don't like your answer?

[Don]

In another thread, Terry wrote, "Nobody to date has "ganged up on you", they are merely in agreement with the facts as we know them. If you choose not to believe us fine, go fishing where the answers you get are more to your liking. All we do is offer truthfull information based on what the poster tells us...."

I wanted to open this up in another thread because I find this quite an interesting phenomenon.

People come here, ostensibly looking for an answer to one or more questions. In reality, it would seem that they are only looking for validation for their pre-conceived belief system. If that validation isn't there, the questioners often become defensive and resentful.

Although I understand what happens, I have to admit that it still puzzles me because I am so far away from that. If I ask a question I hope to get as accurate an answer as possible. It doesn't have to be brutal, but I do want it to be right. If that causes me to rethink my belief system, so much the better! But for many people, the challenge to confront errant beliefs seems to be too much. Instead, they metaphorically circle the wagons by becoming defensive, and may attack the responders with resentment.

I'm not looking for an understanding of why this happens. It does happen, and that's all that matters to me. The question I have for people here is "How should this best be dealt with?"

When we detect defensiveness and/or resentment should we just back off?
Should we continue to give correct answers but, perhaps, from different perspectives?
Is there a way to increase the rapport so they find the chance to think outside of their box is fulfilling rather than an attack on them?

What do people think?

[Docresults]

Don,

I find it fascinating that you bring up this topic. The reason I find it fascinating is this is where you shine IMHO.

You are extremely adapt at covering multiple view points and answering from multiple perspectives.

Your style is mainly supportive of the poster, giving the benefit of the doubt and seldom confrontational.

When someone takes offense at your (what I label beginner post) replies it is often because they are, as you say, seeking validation of already established beliefs and are mainly looking for agreement not edumacation.

Your replies to beginner post are some of the best, most useful and usually fairly comprehensive replies and I too wonder at the level of zero curiosity on the part of the poster.

I usually don't answer that many beginner questions as many of your back post and Merlin's FAQ covers most anything I would possible say and better than I would.

I suspect some come here looking for answers and others come looking for validation. Some come seeking answers and are taken aback because they do not know the personalities that are responding to them.

One possible way to increase the rapport so they find the chance to think outside of their box is fulfilling rather than an attack on them is to encourage new posters to read Merlin's FAQ and some of the back post BEFORE posting their questions.

This may prepare them for the types of answers they may receive.

Just a thought...

To Your Best,
Doc

[Poodle]

As posts stand for years unless deleted by Moderators, would it have served the purpose better to say that yes, self-hypnosis is indeed very dangerous and leads to disturbing thoughts or worse, or to tell the truth that it is not the hypnosis that is doing this if hypnotic trance is being achieved and there is a vast difference between a hypnotic trance and meditation.

It's a tad difficult to maintain rapport with pixels on a screen in that a poster has no access to a dictionary so that we can't even know what poster is writing about and, therefore, my meta questions were softened by "out of curiosity" which is used to gather information for processing without being harsh by asking "what/how specifically do you know about..."

There is already too much disinformation about hypnosis and NLP without more coming from us. We are one of the two I know of web sites that do tell the truth about these subjects.

It is my hope that poster received sufficient correct information from which to make an "informed" decision about seeking a qualified hypnotherapist or alternative help. It is further hoped that poster will hang around awhile here and learn the truth about what we do and just how truly wonderful it is to all of mankind. I would hazzard to guess if poster read Merlin's FAQ's after being invited to read them.

Respectfully submitted,
Pood :)

[skip]

Right, it is puzzling.

And it seems as if people come here merely wanting confirmation of what they already believe, whether it is erroneous or not.

Often I feel as if I just dont want to offer them the time.

There is a game you can play.

You can give people, the answer they dont want, and make them love it, if you care to.

It is all about pacing and leading.

And this is an excellent place to practice it, if you are so inclined, because you dont have a lot of other representational systems cluttering up the landscape.

I find it is really easy, and delightfully fun to do.

I find someone who is upset with the responses they have gotten. Adopt their beliefs and predicates, and pace, pace, pace. Then when they are convinced I am the only one here who has good sense, lead them to the same answers others have offered.

That way I can offer them what I consider to be the best, correct, ethical, answer, and be reasonably sure that they will both understand and receive it.

I dont do it all the time though.

Even though it is an excellent habit to develop.

I wonder why?

cheers,

skip

ps Simple, could this be why public is where this ought be discussed?

[Don]

I would suggest that this is not just a phenomenon that happens on these forums, but it happens to us all in everyday life.

[Simple Guy]

Skip,

We value our own time more so than most of the people who visit
here. And this, for me and some others, helps determine where
we are going to spend it. And bothering "to play the game,"
(granted that most of the confimation seekers aren't aware
that they are players) is dependent upon the likelihood of
benefit to the poster, benefit to the board, enjoyment of the
responders, etc. One factor that plays a consideration in not
responding, is in avoiding a rewarding of poor behavior (on the
part of a questioner). I'm also mindful of people reading into
a reply to someone, inappropriately. This isn't a closed communicative
set and the reasons for an informed response that is provided to
a poster aren't going to always be clear to others. -- The "eavesdropping"
nature of open forum has both advantages and disadvantages.

Better responders, here, are by training/nature/disposition not going to be
judgemental to questioners. But, those who aren't happy with answers
provided or not provided, may consider themselves to have been
"judged." Everyone has their own work to do, responders and
questioners. We aren't responsible for others doing their work,
but can hope that their interactions here encourage them to
do so, as it is in their own best interest. (And if people want
"free counseling," this isn't the place for it. If they qualify for it,
they can seek it through their local counties' mental health services.)

[Soren K (existing)]

When we detect defensiveness and/or resentment should we just back off?
Should we continue to give correct answers but, perhaps, from different perspectives?
Is there a way to increase the rapport so they find the chance to think outside of their box is fulfilling rather than an attack on them?

What do people think?

Hey Don, seems to me the full range of responses is acceptable - do whatever feels right - that's what everyone does, and the world turns till it's ready to move. If you have a certain intention, there's really no question to ask (you taught me that lesson a long time ago - and maybe I just learned how important that was). But you know that the answers to every one of your questions is 'yes' and should you resist this then we may happen to have to put each and every principle into practice. :D

[Simple Guy]

Thanks, Soren, for bringing focus back to Don's questions.
Defensiveness and/or resentment shouldn't necessarily be cause
to back off. I can think of one occasion where a good friend
proceeded to make me aware of something, though defensiveness
had prevented me from self-awareness of it. Glad that he did.
With regards to rapport, sometimes, we just choose not to
exercise it, as mentioned in the response to Skip. But, yes,
sometimes there is room for improvement on the rapport front.

[skip]

Simple,

We do value our own time. Not just more so, as a quantity, but also because we are so much more aware of what can be done with it, we value the quality of it, more too. Or so I surmise.

"And bothering "to play the game," ... is dependent upon the likelihood of benefit to the poster, benefit to the board, enjoyment of the responders, etc."

I agree.

And I think 'it' is so much more than that.

I made light of 'it' when I referred to 'it' as 'playing a game'. Perhaps that cheapened 'it', and if so, that was my mistake.

Let me ask you a rhetorical question that cuts right to the heart of the matter.

"What would it be worth to KNOW that you will never have wasted your time responding to a poster?

or another,

"Why would any of us waste our time at all, knowing that our communication, the knowelege we are imparting, is likely to be discounted or ignored?"

Now the REAL question, "If you could guarantee that you could deliver knowlege/information/answers, and that it would be paid attention to, would you choose to do what you needed to, to ensure that guarantee, if it was easy and fast?"

No need to answer that one is there?

That way you would NEVER have wasted your time, when you make a reply here.

How would you like that?

No need to answer that one either, is there?

Me, that is how I want ALL my comunication to be received.

What was it the General said, "I expect nothing more from my men except that they take every word I speak as if it is from the mouth of God."

Why would I EVER choose to communicate in any fashion that is more likely to result in my having wasted my time.

How much sense does that make?

No need to answer that one either, is there?

I would have to be a fool.

The truth is, I know how, I have the skills, to ALWAYS communicate in such a way as to be well received. And I really dont ever want to communicate in any other way.

Anyone who has really studied NLP has this knowelege.

Which leads me to my tag question slightly rephrased:

"Why sometimes do I neglect to use it?"

When I do neglect to use it, am I really, deliberately, wasting my time?

cheers,

skip

ps: I direct your attention to the response Don just got from a poster that others were slightly miscommunicating with, "I feel like you get me. It feels real good to be understood." Now Don didnt offer advice radically different from the others, he just made sure that he paced her experience and paced it and then lead her. The difference is in how she experiences the comunication. Don made sure his communication would be well received, and as a result his communication wasnt wasted.

[Simple Guy]

Skip,

You didn't cheapen anything for me by referring it to a "game."
Others might misconstrue it, though, and may not know that
it's in reference to the dance people engage in, in large part unconsciously,
that make for an interpersonal dynamic(s), or exchange(s). (Sorry
for the stilted language, I sometimes resort to that when pressed
for time.)

Re: your tag questions: "Why sometimes do I neglect to use it?"
When I do neglect to use it, am I really, deliberately, wasting my time?"
-- Well, we become part of the dance ourselves (and keeping one foot
outside of the dance circle to paraphrase an Ericksonian imperative)
isn't always the case and just because we can doesn't mean we
want to (there are priorities and a determination of the best use of
time among other considerations -- the chasing two rabbits metaphor
sometimes applying) and sometimes it could be that there isn't sufficient
motivation in a circumstance to operate at optimal and, of course, we
are influenced by own unconscious stuff.

[parsa]

Well this discussion is for the pros but I just wanted to talk about something that is related, at least I think it is, and is really strange for me.

Ok, you know when kids decide to do something and parents think it's a bad idea and try to presuade them not to by telling all the negative things that can happen?

Well one really strange thing that I've noticed was that the parents started with a genuine fear and concern but then sometimes their own beliefs being validated became more important than the welfare of their child.

Now I'm not saying that they hated their kids or anything. But I noticed that when all their negative predictions didn't come true they were actually disappointed.

Never understood that.

Right now in our lab we have someone working on an experiment which is very difficult and she's very frustrated because she can't get results.
She's gotten increasingly negative.

Today she started talking about how she found what was wrong with a part of her experiment and she was so happy that I thought she'd found her solution. Later on when I asked a guy in our lab about it he said that what she thought she had found would basically mean that the experiment would never work. Turned out she was wrong.

She's at a point that the only thing that makes her happy is proving that things won't work and there is no way to make them work!!!!

It's really strange.

I don't understand it. Could it be that you're just tired of believing there is relief, or too scared? Maybe because you've been disappointed too many times?

Anyway these were just some observations were it seems to me that people getting validation about something that is totally to their disadvantage turns out to be more comforting to them....

[Terry]

Don, you asked the question, and others replied, as if we were therapists online. I tend to disagree with that perception, so I will expand to see what you and others think....
When I attend this board, I do so as a person who has seen much, experienced much, and is knowledgeable in many aspects of life. I do not consider myself as being in the role of therapist, nor should anyone here in my opinion, since we don;t have the "client" where we can truly question or understand their problem, and therefore lack the resources needed to do a proper diagnosis, and provide therapeutic change.....
A doctor may speak with a patient via the telephone, and use his knowledge and experience to calm them and get them to attend at a hospital, or clinic, but would never consider diagnosing the problem that way. We who deal with a much more delicate entity to the doctor, should never attempt to fill our role as therapist at a distance.
On the other hand, we are certainly entitled to respect from those seeking our help, and I challenge anyone reading this to recall an incident where they had a client who disputed their diagnosis on a face to face basis!
The difference is that we would react in a predictable manner and refuse our help or advise. Furthermore, a client attending our office does so expecting to pay for our services, while those who come here see us as a source of easy information, but have no more respect for us than for their dictionary, if they have the good sense to own such an animal.
For myself, I have respect for who I am, and what I have made of my life, and give that respect were I see it as being deserved. By the same token I lack respect for those who have none of their own.
What should we do you ask, well in my opinion, anyone showing a lack of respect deserves nothing, and should be expunged from the board in the same way we deal with spam and porn.
That way, we get fewer posts, but those we do get will be much better researched, carefully considered, and asked in a respectfull manner that commands respect from the reader...
NOTE:-Mat posted some informative information, as "Read this First"
I am betting nobody reads it, an indication of lack of respect for the provider. I read it, and bet others who attend here regularly as professionals did so...Why not the posters? You decide.

[Simple Guy]

Parsa,

Ego can get so entangled with what people believe, that people will
sometimes defend their positions to the detriment of themselves,
their kids, projects...

[azygous420]

I know what you mean, when I posted the topic on Psychedelic Hypnosis, I got defensive when attacked about my choice of action. Its easy to simply fight back then to change sometimes, but I think it would be best if we all tried our best to use a positive way of correcting each other because we are all explorers here, in a largely convoluted field of ideas. Forgive me if I am defensive in this manner as well but it is usually a product of when I feel I am being directly attacked. I think it is also easier to correct someones misconceptions if you don't quickly try to shoot down their credibility. I would say the best method to approach a misconception would be to give examples and links or references so that they may continue their own exploration to come to a better understanding without conflict.

[Connie]

Don wrote: "How should this best be dealt with?...When we detect defensiveness and/or resentment should we just back off?
Should we continue to give correct answers but, perhaps, from different perspectives?"

Should. I dislike that word. I like Terry's response best (what else is new?)...we "should" respond however we feel, we're diverse, it's OK for responses to be diverse, too. Based on a poster and my own conclusions and intuition, I'll choose how to respond. Or not at all. How the person reacts to any post is also a choice--theirs. I don't feel like manipulating them into easy acceptance.

[Simple Guy]

"How the person reacts to any post is also a choice--theirs. I don't feel like manipulating them into easy acceptance." -- Connie

Along the same lines, there is a boundary issue and there is a difference
between encouraging someone when that is what they are seeking and
changing someone when that is not what they ask for. People have
a right to be wrong.

[skip]

"How the person reacts to any post is also a choice--theirs. I don't feel like manipulating them into easy acceptance."

What would be the purpose of a communication that it doesnt matter whether or not the recipent 'took it on board'?

I know there are a lot of people who would say, "Well I'm gonna tell em, and I dont care whether they accept it or not."

I sometimes wonder, "If you knew they wouldnt accept it, would you still make the effort?"

For me implicit in the communication is the desire for understanding and a response according to that understanding.

And if that is true doesnt it make sense to do what you can to enhance both that understanding and response?

Or would you rather be like Cassandra, the goddess who was condemned to know the future, but no one would listen to her?

skip

[Simple Guy]

Hi Skip,

Sometimes an answer is to be civil, as in saying, "God bless
you," when someone sneezes and isn't given with the aim
of having someone take the message "on board." Sometimes
a response here is given for benefit of others (as in correcting
misinformation) and sometimes there is the intent to get someone
on board and then the ship turns direction because of _____,
and the responder drops intent. When it does matter, it
matters to a degree, of course. And doing "what you can," is
relatively applied (consider a triage analogy).

[Simple Guy]

Anyone want to suggest a line, in general communication,
where persuasiveness is undue?

[skip]

Or how could you prove or disprove that ALL communication is persuasion?

[Simple Guy]

Skip,

A proof: When something is received and the receiver believes
it has been sent. (Maybe?)

A disproof: I'm stumped.

What do you think?

[Terry]

Or how could you prove or disprove that ALL communication is persuasion? You can;t because it is..:D

[skip]

I agree with Terry.

It is ALL presuasion.

Which leads me back to my original unstated premise, "If it is all persuasion, why do we not do the best job of persuading we can?"

Deliberate or habit?

If deliberate then what is the purpose of useless communication.

If habit, are we not the MASTERS at change?

cheers,

skip

[Potato]

1. I think Skip's a genius. Agree with all his posts in this thread.

2. Say instead of an anonymous poster you have a friend who disagrees violently with you on some point. By friend I mean someone you care about/respect enough that you want them to be right (i.e. agree with you). Something like they're about to drive over a cliff and you have to communicate to them verbally that they should perhaps turn or hit the brakes instead.

-Are you concerned with knowing that you told them so, whether they drive off or not, or are you concerned with ensuring that they don't drive off the cliff? (Given my definition of friend, probably the latter, because you want them to be safe instead of the focus being on your having been right)
-If you know they're in a bad mood with you and will do the opposite of what you say, do you bellow at them to hit the brakes, or do you care about them enough to choose another strategy which will save them, regardless of whether you come out looking like you were right or not?

IMO, having respect for myself does not entail lacking sufficient respect for everyone else to attempt to communicate in a manner which will induce others to change their view, rather than simply vindicate myself. The fact that my attempts, at least here, are rarely successful, notwithstanding :D. Obviously while a person might be anonymous to me, especially on a forum, does not mean they're actually an anonymous person--someone was sitting there typing the post, and except when my emotions get in the way (too often, though it's easier for me online, probably because there's less to hate) I afford everyone the status of friend as defined above.

Of course there is the point that you both are just text on a screen. However, if people can manifest the emotions of indignance, triumph, hatred, excitement, fondness, etc. in response to characters in a novel, there is no reason IMO that you cannot gain a rapport of some kind--not the NLP kind--in a forum. I realize you don't have nearly as much feedback as you need in real life, but being realistic, you know that most people are likely to respond in certain ways to certain phrases, and you could probably with a bit or less of effort write a post into which your target (sorry about the word choice) will read a tone they find unoffensive and even persuasive.

There is also the point that this is a public forum and you are not speaking in private to people; your message will be interpreted differently by everyone who ever reads the thread. This one I don't actually have any solution to. Bandler does seminars though for a number of people and sells videos of them to a greater number of people, idk how/if that works out or if he accidentally persuades people who buy his DVD's to commit suicide because they interpret it differently. Although I suppose if you worried about that you'd be paralyzed b/c someone could take any message any way, but then they could also take the absence of a message the same way. Hm.

All that said, I am for freedom of speech so if I was in charge (pfft) I wouldn't not permit types of responses I didn't like, I'd just try to cancel them out with my über-NLP skillz.

Eagerly looking forward to the response of anyone who condescends to make one,

Potato

[Terry]

If I had a friend who disagreed with me, I would respect his right to do so, and we would remain friends. Unfortunately your argument is spurious, since you are here out of curiosity, and not friendship, and your right to respectfull answers is dependant on your aproach and the respect that is shown in it for those on whom you wish to batten for information.

My time is valuable, treat it as such and you will find my replies friendly.. Now tell me, is that unreasonable?

[Potato]

If I had a friend who disagreed with me, I would respect his right to do so, and we would remain friends. Unfortunately your argument is spurious, since you are here out of curiosity, and not friendship,
True; while I have nothing in the way of knowledge, skill or useful advice to offer here, my post was predicated on having something, meaning it can't apply to me. While I respect the skill of the moderators/senior members here, I am in a position more to listen to what they have to communicate than to have them listen to me. Curiousity, certainly; as for friendship, I'm not sure if we're using my (rather non-standard) definition of a more conventional one; if the former, it's a moot point as in the previous two sentences; if the latter, I wouldn't mind being friendly with most of you but if your posts are any indication this circumstance is precluded by my pigheadedness. (proves point by trying in vain to find a "pighead" emoticon)


and your right to respectfull answers is dependant on your aproach and the respect that is shown in it for those on whom you wish to batten for information.

My time is valuable, treat it as such and you will find my replies friendly.. Now tell me, is that unreasonable?
Now you've made me bite off more than I can chew, I'm not claiming to be an authority on reasonableness, I was just trying to give an idea of what I would do had I the required competence in the fields up for discussion here, and I hardly expect it to be used as a guideline by experienced members, or to have any effect at all upon your diverse communication styles. (So it looks like I've been a hypocrite, in writing all this more to flesh out my own thinking than to persuade people much smarter than me at not-being-persuaded.) Hopefully this post is seen as treating your time as valuable, although after the last time (when I recall you describing me, I believe, as "pestering") I'm surprised you haven't taken advantage of your ability to block me. Anyway, while my time actually isn't particularly valuable yet, you could treat it as such by not sending me to dictionary.com with every other sentence, lol--although I must be getting quite an education from these exchanges in more ways than one.

Oh, I've thought of a way to explain what I meant in the first paragraph of this post--people like me are talking up to people like you who are talking down: it's not an equal exchange, we're the ones in the cave and you're the ones in the sun. So the communication style roughly outlined in my previous post is mainly pertinent to your class. So using curiosity and friendship (sorry if I'm stealing your words and twisting their meanings) we're the ones who can only act out of curiosity, and you the ones who can choose to act out of friendship as described by my wobbly little definition.

Always (whatever that's supposed to mean),
Potato

[Terry]

In saying that people like you are "talking up to people like me, and we are talking down to you" I see a completely flawed attitude that you need to change. Your should be talking to me as an equal, not equal in knowledge I agree, but equally entitled to respect and curtesy. always provided that you aproach me with that same curtesy.
You come her a stranger, and you display ignorance of something at which we are skilled, but I am betting that at least all the adults who come here have one skill about which I am ignorant, so it is not ignorance that sets us apart, it is pure respect, that respect with which you address a stranger when you first encouter them. In all cases online, the first poster demonstrates their attitude in that first post, and is treated as that post indicates they deserve. Incidentally, the "you" I refer to should not be taken personally, I have not seen any post of yours that I am annoyed with, so I am offering a perspective not an attack....
To continue, when someone feels inadequate, they often tend to apply that same attitude to others, including those to whom they come for help, and strange to believe, I frequentlu get thank you posts from such, as my reply to them showed what they were unintentionally doing..
We are strangers, but can be friendly strangers or not according to how we aproach each other. I just feel that my time is valuable, and say so to those who would waste it because they see no value in their own time so devalue mine.... Take me or leave me, it will in no way affect my life, but if you choose to take me for what I am, the day may come when I too need help, perhaps with my computer, at which i confess to being a complete dummy, and disinclined to change when I have grandchildren to fall back on, or friendly folks online to put me straight. See, we are all human, but also all different, so some will react to my aproach, and some to that of our long suffering mods. Either way, we get you or we lose you as hopeless cases beyond our help because you (they) are just too lazy to follow instructions where effort is involved....Too bad too sad, but we too are human....

[Poodle]

You are obviously interested in this place as you sorta "hang around" some...so why not take some real, in person, courses and then come back and tell us how wonderful it was and how much you really did learn and how many ways it changed your life for the better.

So, sooo much better than trying to dig things outta a book or off of YouTube and just stop and think for a moment of all those lovely experiences of practicing on other students while the instructor is there so if you do have a question or not it will be answered personally. As Connie wrote, it's Spring and the time has come for new learnings to emerge from your mind just as the world comes out of a winter's grip.

Be well (DIRECT COMMAND),
Pood

[Potato]

You are obviously interested in this place as you sorta "hang around" some...so why not take some real, in person, courses and then come back and tell us how wonderful it was and how much you really did learn and how many ways it changed your life for the better.
If that wasn't rhetorical, because I'm 15*--although my dad will pay for a Bandler training if I get good grades through high school (I'd rather not take my chances with someone less well known, i.e. average local hypnotist).

So, sooo much better than trying to dig things outta a book or off of YouTube I know, I think about that every time I read/watch something on hypnosis or NLP. sigh

Be well (DIRECT COMMAND),
PoodThanks :)

*Terry: "but I am betting that at least all the adults who come here have one skill about which I am ignorant" oh well

[Poodle]

You only have a few years to wait! It's awesome. I promise. Actually, for the first training tho I really prefer something more cozy with more hands on from the Instructor. Many great ones around you know. Then go with "The Man Himself". It really is my belief that everyone should have a chance to train with him while he's still around and working but as he has said his tombstone will say: "I'll Be Back". Perhaps if this is not a career choice you would prefer DHE. Our Soren K. is still floating around on "Cloud 9" from it. Time passes quickly so you'll be doing super cool things before you know it. Enjoy the anticipation!

Stay well,
Pood

[Soren K (existing)]

Our Soren K. is still floating around on "Cloud 9" from it.

Actually, I now got both feet on planet earth, smoking a cigar with 100 guns at the touch of a button. You want some? heh? heh heh :D

It's not okay to feel bad anymore, its a joke!

As for Dr Bandler - things speak for themselves - my advice, never pass up an opportunity to be educated by the man in person, enjoy learning his arts where and however you learn them (if you don't, you'll not be learning his arts - choose your teachers wisely, Society of NLP makes their trainers prove they can teach to their required standards), and use the skills you learn daily.

In 2011 Potato you will be 18 - DHE is running again in 2011, I've no doubt I will be there for that again, pass your exams with merit and make your dad promise to pay for it. Then, begin the rest of your life. Learn what you can between now and then - learn about submodalities and play with changing them (Study and practice: Using you Brain for a Change), learn language patterns and process of change (Study Structure of Magic, Patterns of the Hypnotic Techniques of Milton Erickson and/or Tranceformations), learn personal changework using NLP (study Frogs into Princes) - even if you study the first and the last of these in the next 3 years (two titles - you can buy them cheap online www.bookfinder.com (http://www.bookfinder.com)) you'll be well prepared to have the time of your life for rest of your life. Listen to anything you can by Bandler, at very least gather some familiarity with his work.

Look forward to whatever you decide, with this material there's a lot to look forward to, more than you could ever hope for.

Regards,
Soren

[Connie]

As for Dr Bandler - things speak for themselves - my advice, never pass up an opportunity to be educated by the man in person, enjoy learning his arts where and however you learn them

I 100% agree!!

[Potato]

Thanks all.

Perhaps if this is not a career choice you would prefer DHE.
Yeah, that's the training that interests me most.
Our Soren K. is still floating around on "Cloud 9" from it. Or from whatever was coming through the air-conditioning vents...:p

In 2011 Potato you will be 18 - DHE is running again in 2011, I've no doubt I will be there for that again, pass your exams with merit and make your dad promise to pay for it.
I graduate in 2011 (well, that's the plan) so I might just barely miss it and have to wait four more years, or my dad might feel bad and buy early. Or, I could ruin it now with 9th grade Bio.* That would suck, I think I should make it a habit to watch/read something Bandler every time I'm getting lazy with the studying. --Although I could always sell an organ/myself into indentured servantry; worth it for Bandler

I have Patterns I and II, Adventures of Anybody, My Voice Will Go With You, Time Distortion, and Training Trances, and my library has Frogs and A Teaching Seminar With Milton H. Erickson. I haven't read any of the ones I have but Adventures, Patterns I and a bit of II, because I don't want to be done with them, which is a rather stupid reason, as 1. Finishing them won't mean I'm done with them and 2. I ain't gonna learn anything by sleeping in the same room as them.

Now I'll shut up about me so people can post stuff relevant to the topic. Hehe.

Looking forward to a DHE machine that reads CDs and picks up radio stations,
Potato

*Actually gym is a more likely deal breaker

[Poodle]

I don't like to finish great books either but the amazing thing about the ones you have purchased so far is that every time you re-read it you will find something new that you missed previously.

And, when you finish Patterns I and II, you can tell me all about the major mistake that you found in II.

Anticipation is a wonderful thing. Come on over to the USA in 2011 and I'll probably be there too or at least it's the plan. What a motivator for fantastic grades!!