combatting depression, please read

[welshguymikey]

Hi i recently met this girl on the net who is really depressed but ironically i ghet on really well with, she has suffered from depression for a few years now, she always says how she tries to hurt ppl ect ect makeign herself look really bad. but after some indepth conversation she started to turn around and said that some things did make her happy like seeing a good film and that she did love her motehr and dosent try to commit suicide nemore because she has seen her moterh crying when she tried it before. I am convinced there is a very nice side to this girl, it showed up in the conversation i had with her and pictures of her when she is smiling. She used to be happy and wants to be happy again, how can i use nlp to help her? i will only be talkign to her on teh net for now but hope to meet her someday, please tell me ways i can use nlp to make this girl happy. she really isnt a bad person

[Terry (existing)]

The questions you ask are not answerable as put. For example why do you imagine that persons suffering from depression are "bad" in some way? That you relate to this person is not some surprising thing, you might well feel the same if they were suffering from cancer, or were liable to a heart attack any day. Illness is no barrier to friendship, and I hope it never will be.....As for how to help via NLP, how much do you know, and how skilled are you? We don't have answers, so how can we offer advice?
My best suggestion would be to be yourself, act in a friendly manner, and let the young lady know by your attitudes, that she has a friend she can confide in. I know of no better way to help someone in a state of depression that to be a good friend.

[welshguymikey]

The questions you ask are not answerable as put. For example why do you imagine that persons suffering from depression are "bad" in some way? That you relate to this person is not some surprising thing, you might well feel the same if they were suffering from cancer, or were liable to a heart attack any day. Illness is no barrier to friendship, and I hope it never will be.....As for how to help via NLP, how much do you know, and how skilled are you? We don't have answers, so how can we offer advice?
My best suggestion would be to be yourself, act in a friendly manner, and let the young lady know by your attitudes, that she has a friend she can confide in. I know of no better way to help someone in a state of depression that to be a good friend.
when i asked how can i help her i meant things like is it possible to make her think of her mother before she harms herself and generally just help her overcome the reasons that made her the way she is which are as follows:
1) Her much loved Nan died
2) Her ex girlfreind was spreading horrible stories about her that wernt true
3) She was raped
4) she was very bullied after she fell out of a tree and landed on her face because apparently she looked ugly and still beleives sh is but in actual fact id say shes very pretty
I just want to help her to move on and forget about theses things that have happened to her.
When i said she isnt a bad person, i said that because lots of people dont understand ppl like her, she has tried to commit suicide several times, been in a mental hospital and is a self harmer but most of all she makes out she is a bad person when really she is not i saw a very lovely side to her personality that i cant really explain.
Perhaps i will post a link to her website on here but im not certain that she would approve of that so im not sure yet.
I have had 2 years studying nlp everyday but as for how good i am im not really sure, ive never really used it to help anyone just keep a good conversation going because i have a real problem communicateing in person.

[Simple Guy]

Welshguymikey,

It's good to be a source of inspiration in others as well as our own lives.
Your desire to want to help her is admirable, but I wouldn't suggest
that you attempt any kind of therapy. Serious problems should only
be addressed by professionals. Misguided, though well intentioned,
interventions by friends can be harmful. Also, you wouldn't want
to feel responsible, in any way, for any future harmful behavior on
her part.

You say that you "have a real problem communicating in person."
If you successfully overcome your own issue, it would seem to me that
you'd be in a better position as a friend (Terry aptly spoke of the
value of being a friend) to personally grow and also to help others
do likewise. If this girl has raised this issue for you and you take
the necessary steps to personally move forward in being more
capable or comfortable in personal communications, she's done
you a favor.

[welshguymikey]

Welshguymikey,

It's good to be a source of inspiration in others as well as our own lives.
Your desire to want to help her is admirable, but I wouldn't suggest
that you attempt any kind of therapy. Serious problems should only
be addressed by professionals. Misguided, though well intentioned,
interventions by friends can be harmful. Also, you wouldn't want
to feel responsible, in any way, for any future harmful behavior on
her part.

You say that you "have a real problem communicating in person."
If you successfully overcome your own issue, it would seem to me that
you'd be in a better position as a friend (Terry aptly spoke of the
value of being a friend) to personally grow and also to help others
do likewise. If this girl has raised this issue for you and you take
the necessary steps to personally move forward in being more
capable or comfortable in personal communications, she's done
you a favor.
ok i think we can end this thread as there is no further information i nedd, it might be best to delete this threrad if that is possible as i dont like posting personal things up about ppl, so if a moderator could do me the favour of deleteing this thread i would be most grateful, thanx