Do you think this video is persuasive?

[master_debator]

I just edited a video for my dads website, and I'm trying to get people wanting to buy my dads services. Please tell me if you think it is persuasive or not. Any suggestions are welcome.

Thanks

http://youtube.com/watch?v=i8U6QOG9p58

[Poodle]

I know you know what anchors are. I would think it would be more powerful if the camera backed off to also show your father's hands so he can pull the listener in with his hands and anchor what he is saying. Just even a "I think" with a slight motion towards the head makes the statement more powerful. It's a very nice message. Did you do it? If so, kudos! Pood

[Don]

MD, I know your heart is in the right place and your intentions are good.

However, I used to teach video editing as well as 3D animation at USC, and I regret to say that in my professional opinion you don't succeed in reaching your goal. I realize you're not a professional, but you're competing against professionals. Since you asked, I'd like to make suggestions as to what would improve your video.

1) Have a better background. You could hang a sheet that would cover the radiator and give you a single background.

2) You state your goal is to get people to want your dad's services. Unfortunately, you've made a major mistake which is common to untrained people. Your goal is to sell those services. You're doing an advertisement. The cardinal rule of advertising is "sell the sizzle, not the steak."

Look at a commercial for soft drinks or deodorants. They don't tell you why their product is better (i.e., describing the "steak"), instead they imply that if you drink their soda or use their deodorant you will become popular, have fun, and attract a sexy partner (the "sizzle").

Another way to describe this is features vs. benefits. Describing something is a listing of the features (the steak). Describing why a consumer needs to buy it focuses on the benefits (the sizzle).

Respectfully, then, I would re-write this entire video and have him tell why consumers need his services. I put it this way
A) Create interest (Are terrible things happening in your life?)
B) Create a need (If things aren't working you must get help. You don't want to stay this way forever, do you?)
C) Show how your dad's service answers this need (I now offer services that can help. People have said.... I use XYZ...etc.)
D) Close the sale (I want to help, but nothing happens until you call. Call now at...)

Of course, modify and expand the suggested words to fit.

3) Right now, the video is over seven minutes of what professionals refer to as a "talking head." This is possibly the single most boring thing in video. I'm going to assume that you only have one camera. So re-do the entire thing three times, taping each from a different position (camera angle). Edit to show some action. Even better, show your father doing something with a voice over. After watching the video, I don't know what he does or what his services are.

4) Excitement! If this is so important, where is the passion? His voice is fairly monotone. Monotone does not imply excitement or passion. Excitement and passion sells products.

5) It's waaaaaaay too long. Nobody is going to watch a talking head for 7 minutes. Cut it down to 2-3 minutes. Instead of one long video make 2 or 3 short ones.

6) I use the raindrop effect in Keynote (the Mac version of PowerPoint) presentations. I do it rarely and for effect. Using it in a video once is "cute." Use it more than once and it's considered trite and amateurish. When was the last time you saw a professional film use that effect? I know I didn't see it in Spiderman 3 or The Last Mimsy. A fast transition without effects is fine.

7) These are stories of hope? He seems to be grimacing through the entire 7+ minutes. How about a smile, at least at the beginning and end. If someone is saying, "There is hope, come and see me" but frowns until the tape runs out I'm not going to be inclined to call or visit. Think in terms of inviting someone into your home. What expression do you think would encourage people to enter? Now look at your father's face, especially at the end. I didn't find it inviting at all.

8) The audio sounds like it is lost in a cave. Get something like a lapel microphone (I'll assume you don't have and/or can't afford a boom) so his voice is more directly recorded.

I have no doubt that you and your father have only the best intentions and I want to see you both succeed, and with as little expense as possible. I hope this helps!

[Connie]

Wow! Don, your comments are so much larger than just Master D's question. There's massive information in there for me (or anyone who sells a service) to benefit from as well! Thank you!!! I will be making a video or videos at some point, and I'm going to print this out and keep it.

The "sizzle" discussion has also sparked some ideas in my mind for improvements to my website!! You're the best, Don.

[Terry]

I don't have Don's expertise in making videos, but any of us, including yourself can listen, observe, and react, which is what I did.
The story content was interesting to me, which should have meant that I listen with interest, and react positively. Such did not happen, and you need to know why if you want positive results.
Facial expression, and indeed intonation are all important when using visual and audible messages, as is background. Brevity however is much more important if you want to get the right message across, which is "Tell Me More".
Instead, you shoved the whole birthday cake in front of your listeners, and insisted that they ingest it all at one sitting. The fact that you are not skilled in this area is fine, if all you are trying to do is practise to become perfect, but in this case it is live or die for a business, not just practise to become better, and under those circumstances you get a failing grade...
The story your father tells is "personal" and should be brief, very brief, just being mentioned as "why" he offers his services, and what iin his background entitles him to feel capable of offering something of value. The fact that he bored me to tears instead of making me want more, indicates that he is not the person I want interreating with my children in an educational sense. Frankly, I didn't even get to the end to find out were I might contact you, so it was a total failure.... Harsh? yes it is, but truth is more important than a bruised ego....
Advice:... an ad should be just long enough to peek interest, have sufficient content to tempt the viewer to want more, and the direction to go to get it. A video is not the medium to use for this purpose of course, rather it could be a follow up to a request for more information. Even under these cirumstances what you offer is boring, so scrap it....

[Jack]

Yes it is a little boring, MD, but you can quite simply make it less boring.

Have you ever seen interviews in drama-documentaries? Very rarely does the camera stay on one shot for very long but uses the device of the 'cutaway' to inject pace and form into the piece. That is what this video lacks. I suggest that you get your Dad into the same position he was in when you shot the original, with the same lighting and you shoot lots of mute cutaways of his hands, eyes, side of head or any other shots you can think of that illustrate what he is saying and edit these into your original whilst keeping the voice track intact.

Also, if you have a decent editing program strip off the V/O (or just leave it there if your edit program allows) and get rid of the boominess in a sound editor, then re-sync it with your pictures.

Jack

[Connie]

...an ad should be just long enough to peek interest, have sufficient content to tempt the viewer to want more, and the direction to go to get it...

That sounds like the formula for "coming attractions" trailers for motion pictures, and we all know that those are fabulously successful in motivating people to want more. :)

[Terry]

That sounds like the formula for "coming attractions" trailers for motion pictures, and we all know that those are fabulously successful in motivating people to want more. :) It's all a matter of understanding the mind. It is easily bored, lacks concentration, and quickly loses interest when confronted by something which is intended to promote a product or service not personally requested. If the video was intended as a follow up to an advertisment in a newspaper for example, I would consider if less boring, but still amateurish, and not up to the standard required to sell something.
I don;t think dad should be in the video, it should be about him, but exclude his presence, unless it is done in "interview" style, and I suspect our poster is not up to doing that in a professional manner either. If I were advertising Hypnosis for example, I would show a person in a lab coat, saying, "hypnosis was a valuable tool for me to absorb my chosen subject, and pass exams with top marks, so that I had my choice of where I wanted to go after final training". The "valuable tool" tool comment says, "if you aren't serious don;t bother me, a typical Terry attitude:) I would add various snippets of the same kind, showing perhaps an slim person who comments on what hypnosis did for her self worth, by supporting her in changing from a fat person to a slim one, and so on, never leaving time for the viewer to be bored, but rather anxious to see the next part in case it related to the problem they were having, or one they were expecting to have..;)
Using this method, you also account easily for any indication of an amateur production, since each person speaks as is natural to them, and not as if quoting something from a prompt page behind the camera. This later is something only a skilled communicator can get away with effectively...

[master_debator]

2) You state your goal is to get people to want your dad's services. Unfortunately, you've made a major mistake which is common to untrained people. Your goal is to sell those services. You're doing an advertisement. The cardinal rule of advertising is "sell the sizzle, not the steak."

Look at a commercial for soft drinks or deodorants. They don't tell you why their product is better (i.e., describing the "steak"), instead they imply that if you drink their soda or use their deodorant you will become popular, have fun, and attract a sexy partner (the "sizzle").


I'm trying to find a way to do it with what my dad will be selling. My dad is going to be a motivational speaker for at risk students, and will do teacher professional development. I'm trying to think of a way to add that sizzle...any ideas?



Respectfully, then, I would re-write this entire video and have him tell why consumers need his services. I put it this way
A) Create interest (Are terrible things happening in your life?)
B) Create a need (If things aren't working you must get help. You don't want to stay this way forever, do you?)
C) Show how your dad's service answers this need (I now offer services that can help. People have said.... I use XYZ...etc.)
D) Close the sale (I want to help, but nothing happens until you call. Call now at...)


I was thinking of possibly doing this:
Have 1 or 2 questions that they someone will definately answer yes to.

Ex. 1) Do you believe that the educational system in America is failing our kids...then a short statement to back this 'fact' up...

2) Do you believe...etc...

Then something along the lines of:
Do you believe that the children of today are the future..etc...then onto something like...if we don't do x for the kids, x will happen...you don't want to be the person to let down a child do you?...etc...

Actually, I'm kind of lost on this...mainly because lack of sleep...Any ideas?

[Don]

Hi, MD.

The majority of people who say they believe that the educational system in America is failing our kids don't care or don't think it matters. If they did, they would demand our politicians do something and our educational system would be better.

The question is designed to get people to vote for a candidate who will them promptly bury anything that will help or come up with some ideology-based plan that will make things worse.

What do people care about when it comes to children? Their own children.

Your statement is generalized. At best it will get a response of "Yes, it's failing other children, but not mine" or "Yes, it did fail my children but I've helped them (or I got them personal attention)."

So my suggestion is to personalize it:

Has the educational system failed your children?
Are their report cards filled with Cs and Ds or even Fs when you know they should be getting As and Bs?
Are you shocked that they don't know the basics of XYZ which you knew when you were their age?
Now there is help available.
I provide the finest services in yada yada yada
My students succeed in yada yada yada as proven by yada yada yada.
Do you want to help your children succeed in life?
Together, we can do it!
But you must begin by calling us at XXXXXXXXX. So you don't forget, call XXXXXX today.

Respectfully, I would suggest that you're not lost on this because of lack of sleep, but rather, because of lack of training in marketing and advertising. I would suggest that you go to your library or a book store and start reading some books on the subject.

Good luck!

[Poodle]

I have no idea if your father has the money or not or would be willing to invest his time either as I don't know him; however, in March in Orlando is NLP Trainer's Training. It is really a course on public speaking and getting the message IN. In the past, one has not had to have NLP training to attend, nor does one even have to speak English. Tad James has also written the book "Presenting Magically" although one can learn much more in person than from a book most of the time IMO. Your dad could consider both options. PM me if you want additional assistance. Pood

[Terry]

It is impossible to "help" someone who is completely lost and incapable. I tried to be kind, but you just don't get it.
Watching your video motivated me to do one thing, fall asleep....
When someone is on the path to failure, encouraging them is unkind and shirks reponsibility....
Your father may well be a very decent person, but he is no motivator, and for him to set up as one is fraudulent. If he knew beans about his subject, he would have known better than to let you post ...[that video].
Children who are failing go to summer school, and parents who send them must decide to waste money, or prevent the little darlings from wasting so much time playing video games instead of studying. It is less that the school system is failing, as that parents are failing to guide their children.... He needs to be an authority figure, and you present the oposite.

[Poodle]

how effective would it be for one of us to give a talk on Hypnosis - nervous, holding our hands together saying: Hypnosis is a very nice little business because we help people. Long pause oh my! what do I say now? Would that lead anyone to us? NO!

Numerous qualities make a great talk.

[Simon]

Being a student of marketing all I can say is : pay close attention to Don's posts.

[master_debator]

My father is an excellent motivator. Every school he has taught at has won the most money in art contests. I was looking for helpful comments, not something that is completely negative. In alot of your posts you seem condescending to people, in my opinion. Read Dons posts about regarding this issue, he has been very helpful...you...not so much.

It is impossible to "help" someone who is completely lost and incapable. I tried to be kind, but you just don't get it.
Watching your video motivated me to do one thing, fall asleep....
When someone is on the path to failure, encouraging them is unkind and shirks reponsibility....
Your father may well be a very decent person, but he is no motivator, and for him to set up as one is fraudulent. If he knew beans about his subject, he would have known better than to let you post ...[that video].
Children who are failing go to summer school, and parents who send them must decide to waste money, or prevent the little darlings from wasting so much time playing video games instead of studying. It is less that the school system is failing, as that parents are failing to guide their children.... He needs to be an authority figure, and you present the oposite.