Working with children

[Connie]

Hi, brilliant ones! (You know who you are!) I have a question. I'm going to be working with my first child-client this week, it's a 12-year old girl with a fear of needles. That topic (needle fear) has been discussed here before, and many different avenues of approach were discussed. I still don't know how I will approach it.

My question is: is there anything special I should keep in mind when working with a child? I want the dad there in the room, right? Or not? One of the nice things about working with clients is the nice forgiving way the conscious mind vamooses--in this situation, the father will be there studying me while I work with her with all his critical factors in full bloom. Or, should I hypnotize him as well? :) I want rapport with both! Any suggestions?

[Poodle]

Instead of hypnosis, why don't you just do the fast phobia cure. It will work. I have worked with "children" and I do not let parents in the same room. Just explain that we're going to do something very different and it is the most important and powerful tool that you or anyone else in the whole world has. Should set the stage well for a very positive belief change. Pood

[Simple Guy]

Hi Connie,

Let dad know in advance that he is to remain quiet during the session,
unless you ask him to say something. You may want to give him
a couple of magazines to keep him busy. Situate him outside of
the visual field of the child, if at all possible. Also, advise the
parent, in advance, to refrain from evaluating the session with
the daughter afterwards.

[Connie]

Thank you for the replies! The father is "gung ho" on hypnosis, because it was used to "cure" his needle phobia when he was a child. His expectation is hypnosis--though I think NLP is what I'd like to use. A blend might be nice.

[Don]

One of the challenges of working with children is that you also have to work with parents and meet their expectations.
It's two—
two—
two sessions in one!

[Terry]

I love to empower children myself, so I would use glove analgesia to put the child in charge of her own situation.
Father would prove no problem, since I would ensure he sat close enough to be part of the therapy, and stayed silent throughout. I might even have the child put her hand on daddies cheek and give him analgesia of the jaw...:) That way, I prove to dad that I did my job, strengthen the child's belief, and get free advertising from dad in return for his free session:cool:
Never pass up an opportunity to get free advertising.

[Jack]

The only times I would allow a parent in the room during an hypnotherapy session is if the child felt the parent was needed, if the child is very young or if doing family therapy. Otherwise I sit parents through in another room. Occasionally the parents are part or much of the problem.

If you want to have parents in the room Pood's suggestion about the FPC is good.

Jack

[Simple Guy]

Hi Jack,

On those occasions when "the parents are part or much of the
problem," I try to have another adult, not the parent or guardian,
be present during the session.

[Poodle]

12 year old which is not really a child has a phobia of needles. I would say it was "learned" behaviour from daddy dearest since he had it first and daddy dearest is dictating what kind of therapy he wants for his child. It would be my very strong belief to have daddy dearest go sit in the hallway. I have often found that the person with my client is the presenting problem. I'm quite sure daddy dearest wants to describe the problem in whole to Connie, not letting Connie know the 12 year olds language which in our business is critical! I've had wives come with husbands and sisters with sisters, mothers with daughters, etc. It has never worked well as the "other" person wants to tell me all about their relatives problems. Does a parent go into the OR when their child has his/her tonsils out? No! Is not the mind that runs the body a little more important?

Daddy dearest has just placed himself as the expert in solving the problem by demanding what he wants instead of letting the REAL EXPERT, Connie, solve the problem with her myriad tools.

[Connie]

I was talking to Keith L. yesterday on another matter, and mentioned this question. He said family dynamics (once I get a chance to talk to these people and see the relationship) will dictate whether or not father stays in the room. He said what I'm feeling now is "session anxiety" and if I make a plan it will help me feel better, but that when I meet the people and put my focus firmly on them and on helping them, it will vanish. I need to focus on them and what they need, not on me. (I love that Keith!). He also said even if NLP is my preferred method of helping, to add in hypnosis, too. So, that's the plan!

[Simple Guy]

Hi Poodle,

12 years old is a child as relating to the age of majority. I don't like
parents in the room, generally, but have had them in because of
non-therapy related standards of practice and recommendations
to do so. Dentists and other professionals have similar considerations.
In an ideal world...

[Connie]

Hi, here's a follow-up! I worked with the 12-year old and she was a dream!! The perfect client. Such a little sweetie. I let her mom stay in the room.

Turns out it wasn't a "needle phobia," it really had little to do with pain and needles--she has no problems at the dentist getting novacaine shots. It had to do with loss of control and feeling vulnerable. I tossed out the game plan in my mind (glove anesthesia) and gave her protective-bubble-which-she-controls type suggestions and a safe, beautiful place to go when she feels anxiety. I threw in a whole bunch of language specific to going to the doctor to get shots and beneficial ways to see that and the people involved and respond accordingly. I also threw in the NLP fast phobia cure for good measure. Mom seemed pleased!! :) I got a hug when it was over, too.

[Terry]

Excellent, all being well, you will now get recommendations that will lead to more child clients.:)

[Simple Guy]

Connie,

Your success here... but of course. "perfect client," quality therapists
find that they get an inordinate number of those. Expect you will. :)

[Jack]

I tossed out the game plan in my mind.

Good move.

Jack

[skip]

"I tossed out the game plan in my mind..."

Best move yet.

How many people would have tried to stuff the little one into their preconceptions?

skip

[Terry]

"I tossed out the game plan in my mind..."

Best move yet.

How many people would have tried to stuff the little one into their preconceptions?

skip Every so called practitioner with a "God" complex, and most of the poorly trained ones also. Congratulations to your trainer Connie....:)
Naturally, some of those congratulations should be aimed at you also, but accept our respect instead:D

[Connie]

Thanks for the kind words! :) My official trainer is/was Michael Bennett. But I don't have just one. Many, many, including you all. You're all my teachers here.

[Poodle]

Have you not heard "If it doesn't fit your model of the world, distort it". LOL! Pood :p

[parsa]

Kudos Connie!!!:) :)

[Terry]

Gee Pood, that must be a quote from someone not very skilled. After all, why distort when you can lead..:D

[Poodle]

It's a NLP joke for Skip. He'll understand it. Pood :)

[Merlin]

Way to go Connie !
http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c344/Myhrrhleine2/Meez/cheer.gif

[Docresults]

Purrrrrfect!