Forget something through hypnosis?

[sadone]

I have suffered a very traumatic event which I regret very much. Is it possible to use hypnosis to forget about the event? I understand that it might not be the BEST way to go, but is it POSSIBLE? If so, how long will it be gone from my memory?

If not possible, in what ways can hypnosis help me to handle the event?

[Unregistered]

I have suffered a very traumatic event which I regret very much. Is it possible to use hypnosis to forget about the event? I understand that it might not be the BEST way to go, but is it POSSIBLE? If so, how long will it be gone from my memory?

If not possible, in what ways can hypnosis help me to handle the event?

Yes, of course it is possible. How long? Depends on how long you want it gone. Hypnosis is consentual, after all. I think you'd probably be better off shrinking the memory to one more manageable and leaving it available so that you can learn from it, though. NLP might be the best way to go. I'd start with Neuro-linguistic Programming for Dummies, available from Amazon, if you want to teach yourself how to do it, and to amplify other, pleasant memories.

[sadone]

So it is possible? I have spoken to a few hyphnosists, and they have all told me that it is not possible, so I don't know what to believe anymore.

Is it even possible to do this to yourself?

My preference would be to remove this memory forever and to continue my life without knowing that it has occured. Is this really possible? If so, are there any side-effects that I should know of?

Has anyone done this to themselves or to someone else? If so, what was the result like?

Please give me all information available on this issue, as I am desperate for information from people who know!

[Don]

Is it possible? Yes. Is it advisable? No.

Do you really want the event to occur again? Forgetting an event is more than just the event itself, it's everything that led up to that event. Everything you discovered, all of the attitudes, everything. Gone. And that means you'll be wide open to it taking place again. Did you see the movie "Groundhog Day?" The event may not happen every day to you, but it will repeat. And then, if you forget it again, it will repeat again. How many times do you want that event to happen to you?

There is a story of a young Zen monk who was rowing his teacher down a river. Another boat, coming in the opposite direction, was not being controlled very well and the monk warned the other boat's pilot against the collision. But the man in the other boat couldn't control it well and smashed into the boat with the monk and his teacher.

The monk was furious and yelled at the man in the other boat. "Didn't you hear me? Can't you steer? What sort of an idiot are you?" Even though the other man apologized profusely, the monk continued to berate him. Even after the two boats went their separate ways (there was no damage to either) the monk continued to talk with anger about how stupid the other boatman had been.

Finally, after several minutes of listening to this, the teach said to his young student, "If that boat had been adrift and nobody was in it, who would you yell at?"

Sadone, the event you experienced is just that, an event. Everything that led to that event and all the emotions you feel about the event are not part of the event itself, just your response to it. You learned much from the event, including that you never want it to happen again. I know that at this moment all you can think of is that you want to forget it ever happened. I'm suggesting an alternative: keeping what you've learned so that the event could never happen again, and at the same time changing the way you feel about it so all of the emotions you're feeling cease to bother you. It won't bother you when you think about it. It will be like yesterday's lunch--important when it happened; not of much interest now.

A trained hypnotherapist will be able to help you do this quite easily.

If you look around, you may be able to find a hypnotist who is willing to help you forget it and open you up to living it again. By the way, do you know what happens to all of those emotions you're feeling when you forget the cause? They come out in other ways. Tracking down the source so you can deal with it becomes more difficult and you might end up in the office of a psychologist or psychiatrist for years. In other words, what you want could screw up your life and cost you tens of thousands of dollars or more to correct.

Of you could go to a qualified hypnotherapist who will help you deal with the issue, get rid of all the emotions you have attached to it, keep the learning you obtained, and let you go on as a happier, more experienced and knowledgable person, assured in the knowledge that it will never happen again.

The choice is yours.

[sadone]

Don,

thank you so much for your well-written response.

I certainly understand what you are saying, as for now I am just exploring my options. The one thing I cannot understand is that the event I am speaking of, something I did voluntarily but regret from the bottom of my heart, could ever become something like "yesterday's lunch". The feelings, regret, and guilt I feel about it are just killing me. I cannot imagine that it is possible to keep the event in my memory but not feel the above feelings about it. Is that really possible, regardless of the seriousness of the event in question? I doubt it, but I am very open to listening to what you experienced people have to say about it.

Has anyone got any experience with the above, ie doing something one regrets and thinks they can never forgive themselves without erasing the memory of it? If so, could you be helped by the method described by Don?

How is forgetting something possible? Is it just for the therapist to say "x never happened, you will not remember it when you wake up" when I am hypnotised? How does it all work out?

Where can I learn more about all this? BTW, Don, what experience do you have of Hypnosis? Where have you learned? (I am new to this forum)

I am so curious about the answers I will be sittning next to the computer waiting for answers...:)

[sadone]

BTW, I just checked the FAQ of Merlin (who seems to have written a few posts here) and she answers the question "Can hypnosis help me forget someone/something?"

"The short answer is no. A memory can be blocked from concious recall, but it'll always be there...."

maybe blocking from concious recall and forgetting is the same thing, or am I misunerstanding something?

[Merlin]

The two are similar. But a blocked memory still has the emotional 'charge' which can effect you.

It's best just to have the emotional charge released from the memory.
Memories are a good thing. Emotional baggage is what needs to be let go of.

[Terry (existing)]

You have had replies from Don, and from Merlin, both skilled in the practise of hypnosis. Your other reply was from a guest who gave no name, and who's pedigree must therefor be questioned. Not they they also may be highly skilled, but when you contact a board such as this, don't assume you will always get replies from someone who knows what they are talking about. Even we who have practised for years disagree, but only within reason. I for instance practised for over twenty years, and am retired. I still learn from the younger members of this board, but have the knowledge and skill to sort out what is of value and what is not. I agree with Don, in that remembering without strong feelings of remorse is prefferable to anything else. Remorse is good, it allows for you to make amends for what you regret, but leaves you hopefully in a state of knowledgeable action...To forget suggests that what happened holds no remorse, and requires no redress. I don't think you feel that way, or would wish to perpetuate such feelings.....Terry

[sadone]

Is it possible to create the effect of a blocked memory or change my emotions about the memory through self-hypnosis? Where can I find information about this?

[Unregistered]

Is it possible to create the effect of a blocked memory or change my emotions about the memory through self-hypnosis? Where can I find information about this?

Yes, it is possible but difficult; Amazon abounds with books that will tell you how, but what everyone is asking you is do you think this is the best, most desirable way forward? Shrinking the emotion associated with the memory so that you can handle it and learn form the experience you had is what's being suggested.

Perhaps your insistance would become clear if you gave a few details of the memory.

[sadone]

Well, I have did something that gives me a lot of guilt. I did it voluntarily and without coercion or under affection of any drugs. I did a horrible mistake. I cannot imagine living with either the feelings associated to the event, just the mere knowledge that I have done it will give me guilt, since I was not supposed to act in that way.

Therefore I would do anything to block that memory, since I cannot bear thinking about it, or knowing about it, for the rest of my life.

[Don]

I would like to recommend a book for you which could be of great help without having to learn self-hypnosis and spending months practicing.

But first, I have to give a bit of background because you might not understand my recommendation otherwise.

You have a view of yourself and who you are. Part of this view includes concepts of what you would do and what you would not do. No matter how old you are, you are currently happy with this view of yourself. One of the names for being happy with who you are is "self-love."

But you did something that counters that view. The "purity" of the self-love is gone, replaced by feelings of turmoil, chaos, anger, rage, disappointment, and perhaps even self-loathing over what you have done. This is not a good place to be. I don't blame you one bit for wanting to get back to the wonderful place of self-love.

What you are suggesting to do--to block out the memory of the event--will not change those emotions that you feel. They'll still be there and the self-love you feel will be a fraud. On some level you'll always know that it is a fraud and the peace and happiness you want, the self-love, won't return.

What several of us have suggested is that you have changed and grown because of this event. You have to accept that the love you had for yourself did not represent who you really are. In a sense, one love, the false love, must die off so that another love, the love for who you really are, can be born in a new more honest form, so you can experience self-love to a newer, deeper, and more honest level.

The book I suggest is titled How to Survive the Loss of a Love. Don't worry. It's not filled with absurd philosophy or long and difficult reading. It just gives simple concepts and short but incisive poems that can help you through difficult times and maybe even make you laugh.

Here's one I changed a bit for your situation:

You might wonder if thinking about this event is a drain.
Thinking about it is not a drain.
It's a sewer.

You're not alone. Others have experienced what you have and have gone on to process the information and become better people because of it.

The book sells for under $10 and you can get it through amazon.com :

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0931580439/qid=1096385990/sr=8-1/ref=pd_csp_1/104-6676872-2185551?v=glance&s=books&n=507846

or you can get it even cheaper at used book stores.

Good luck!

[Unregistered]

Well, I have did something that gives me a lot of guilt. I did it voluntarily and without coercion or under affection of any drugs. I did a horrible mistake. I cannot imagine living with either the feelings associated to the event, just the mere knowledge that I have done it will give me guilt, since I was not supposed to act in that way.

Therefore I would do anything to block that memory, since I cannot bear thinking about it, or knowing about it, for the rest of my life.

What do you feel when you think of this thing? How does it feel physically to remember it as well as mentally?

[Merlin]

>Is it possible to create the effect of a blocked memory or change my emotions about the memory through self-hypnosis?

Yes.
And every now and then I hear in the news that some doctor has attempted removing his own appendix (or similar). They are sometimes successful.

But there is seldom a person with a ruptured appendix who looks to Amazon.com when they need surgery.
This is a situation *best* dealt with with someone experienced helping you.

[Unregistered]

>Is it possible to create the effect of a blocked memory or change my emotions about the memory through self-hypnosis?

But there is seldom a person with a ruptured appendix who looks to Amazon.com when they need surgery.
you.

Not a very subtle reframe, Merlin. 3/10.

[Terry (existing)]

Not very smart advice either. Telling someone to get a book on self hypnosis to cope with a problem they consider serious is no different than telling them to "Live with it"......Or did I misunderstand your intent?

[Unregistered]

Not very smart advice either. Telling someone to get a book on self hypnosis to cope with a problem they consider serious is no different than telling them to "Live with it"......Or did I misunderstand your intent?

I'm afraid you are. Embarasment is rarely fatal. I suggested NLP as a way of changing the relationship sadone has with this memory so it may be learned from and possibly have its lessons used constructively. I further suggested that if he or she wanted to learn how to do this using NLP there are a good many books available to do so.

Getting sadone to tell us a bit about the feelings this memory evokes was a start at getting him or her used to having the thing in their minds eithout having to actually hear what it is they're trying to forget. The technique of complicit rapport. Nothing more, nothing less. Maybe you have a better way of helping sadone, but no need for personal attacks, eh?

On the subject of personal attacks, equating what I said with a burst appendix, Merlin, is clearly a metaphor designed to undermine confidence in my words using a startling and painful image and I take this and other remarks as unethical personal attacks. I see them, even if others can't, and I'm at the stage of wanting to call them once spotted - exposure being as good as argument where duplicity is concerned. You wouldn't use the handshake induction on someone, would you, so why do this?

[Merlin]

It wasn't meant as a reframe.

[Merlin]

It's not a good idea to work on self with NLP learned from books either.

how can you be 'attacked?'
you are anonymous here! " Unregistered Guest"
nothing can be 'personal' about it.
Why would you want drive your bus to 'feeling attacked?'

>is clearly a metaphor designed to undermine confidence in my words using a startling and painful image and I take this and other remarks as unethical personal attacks.

Quite a stretch there!

>I see them, even if others can't...

Have you been seeing attacks long?

>You wouldn't use the handshake induction on someone, would you,

Only because it's a poor method IMO.
There are better & faster methods.

>so why do this?

No attack intended.
and i've used the exact description of self work here before, as have others.
Even when there was no one else suggesting as you have.

If anything, I'm guilty of repeating myself.

[sadone]

How does one conduct this self-hypnosis? I was trying to go into trance yesterday, lying down just trying to really relax, but couldn't feel any "trance". Where on the webb can I find more information about this?

[Terry (existing)]

When one meets a trog: or finds that one's grain of advice is falling on stoney ground, the wise man (or woman) ceases to sow. I suggest we end this now. Terry

[skip]

Doug,

You said: "Getting sadone to tell us a bit about the feelings this memory evokes was a start at getting him or her used to having the thing in their minds eithout having to actually hear what it is they're trying to forget. The technique of complicit rapport. Nothing more, nothing less."

It is my experience that getting someone to discuss their memory of an event, or their feelings about it, tends to take them further and further into the 'hallucination' that they have built around that memory. Deeper and deeper into the 'hypnosis' they are manifesting.

I can see how it would also help build rapport, but I wonder if it wouldnt be better to build rapport in another way, and bring them 'out' of the hallucination, rather than taking them deeper and deeper into it?

Unless deeper is where you intend for them to go.

skip

[skip]

Sadone,

Go to google, and search "Betty Erickson Technique".

[Zanther]

Memories are biologically/neurally/physically connected, so you can temporarily erase them, but they're likely to seep back in during dreams or when you access a closely connected normal memory.

Like others have said, just have someone get rid of the negativity (traumatic feelings) from the memory and keep your memories. I think you'd be happier that way than knowing that part of your memories are blocked/gone.

[Merlin]

Zanther,
it's worse. Memories are interwoven in friends/aquaintences too.

Say I erase your memory about smoking. You've never smoked.
So you meet a friend and are offered a smoke.
'You say I've never smoked'.
Friend insists you have!
you used to stand in the cold together smoking!
You say friend is nuts!

You see neighbor getting mail.
Neighbor asks how the 'quit smoking' is going.
You claim they're nuts. You've never smoked.

MD gives you a physical. Says you need to quit.
But Doc, I never smoked!

Dentist comments about nicotine stains on your teeth

Is the whole world gone insane?

No, but it's enough to drive you batty!

Memories show up in the oddest places.

[sadone]

So it is really possible to erase the memory of ever smoking for someone who has been doing it for years? Then erasing a 30-minute-sequence of events should be fairly easy in comparison, right?

As concerns my memory, I am the only one aware of it and would definitely not be directly reminded of it by anyone.

[Zanther]

Refer back to my post where I said, the memories will eventually come back. Memories are interwoven and connected. Accessing memories connected to your smoking memories would then bring up the other "forgotten" memories. Or you might start dreaming about it...or if it's a traumatic event it might have bad effects (say you erase memory of a rape, then you see someone who looks like your rapist, it strikes deep and you get a subconscious emotional reaction, you have no idea why you're suddenly feeling anxious with this stranger...if a lot of that starts happening, you might think there's something wrong with your head or you're going nuts).

Instead, just wipe away the negativity from the emotions. Trust me, it works really well. You can literally sit there and TRY to feel upset/anxious/depressed about the memory as you replay it, but the bad feelings won't come.

[Unregistered]

Interesting...and this really works? Why is it not so that the subconcious remembers the bad feelings and makes you feel bad about the memory?

If the subconcious can remember the memory itself, why can it not remember/associate the feelings connected to the memory and make me feel bad every time I think about it?

If it is possible to erase the connection between the memory and the bad feelings, why can you not disconnect the bad feelings from the memory and then make you forget the memory itself, then the subconcious would not make you feel bad if you "met your rapist", since the bad feelings associated with him would no longer be there, right?

(Not trying to be offensive or anything, just want to know how it works)

[skip]

Guest,

You ask, "If the subconcious can remember the memory itself, why can it not remember/associate the feelings connected to the memory and make me feel bad every time I think about it?"

It can, it just doesnt have to.

Ill give you an example.

Do you remember your first kiss? I dont mean your grandmother, but with a real live girl or boy, depending on your preference.

You can remember it now, with some fondness, and chuckle a bit, at how scared you were, and how quaint it all now seems. Or you can really access the memory, and vividly recall every little nuance, as if it is still happening. Ummm nice.

The memory is there, and can still be brought back in all its detail, but if you just casually recall it, it is with the perspective that time has given it, and takes into account the learning experiences you have had since.

Hypnosis, or NLP can offer you "instantly", the same 'perspective' that allows memories to fade over time, such that the unpleasant aspects diminish, but the learnings the experience has to offer, is still there, to be taken advantage of.

I have no idea what you have done. It isnt important. What I do know, is that it isnt the only thing you have done, that you are less than proud of. If it was, you would not be human. I also know that we as humans make the best choice that is available to us at the time. None of us deliberately makes bad choices.

So what I do know, is that you made a choice, that only in retrospect, has turned out to be a bad one.

A good NLP practioner can not only help you take the emotional sting out of this and the associated feelings, but they can also help you examine how you make decisions, on an unconscious level, and assist you in developing a decision making strategy, that takes into account past experience, and future paces the decision to examine potential consequences before the decision is made.

Thats called building in wisdom, and while not perfect, is often comprably better.

skip

[Jack]

I think Don and Merlin have said this but guilt is an emotion. Remove the emotion of guilt and the memory has no power. You feel bad when you think of this thing you have done. Imagine that when you remember the event you do not feel bad. A skilled hypnotherapist will be able to remove the emotion or at least desensitise you to it, but a book will not. Neither will self-hypnosis. I repeat, it is not the memory that is the problem, but there is no quick or cheap fix.

God, I'm starting to sound like Terry!(no offence Terry!).:D

Jack

[Merlin]

Yes Zanther.
Pretty close.
Move to the head of the class.

[TaffyE]

Sadone,

If you removed the memory, you wouldn't know that you had done it before and could do it again. The point of reference would have gone.
Keeping the memory without the emotional link would allow you to "know better next time". Without the memory you wouldn't know it was the next time - it would be like doing it for the first time.
You wouldn't want to go through all that anguish again, would you???

[Keith Livingston]

Sadone,
Here's is a problem with what you propose.

Just because you don't remember the event consciously, doesn't mean it won't bother you. There are plenty of people with extreme phobias (for instance) who don't remember the events that caused their phobias.

You could be in the situation of felling just as miserable but with no idea of the source of your feelings.

It is possbile, no matter how severe the event, to reprocess it so that the "sting" is taken out of it. As other posters have commented, that way you can have the memory, avoid the situation or other similar situations happeneing again adn go on with your life.

Good luck,
Keith Livingston

[Unregistered]

This is my first time on this board and this is the first message I have read, I would like to toss my 2 cents worth in. In the past I have said or done things that I regretted and those things would pop back into my memory and would send me into a depressed state - I'd feel it in the pit of my stomach and would get very upset. One day I said enough, these things were in the past and weren't that important either - I didn't hurt anyone, they were trivial. Whenever one of those thoughts popped up, I'd use my quick relaxation technique, then I would tell myself to throw away the feelings that the thoughts brought - I'd also use a throwing motion. I felt better the first time I did it and even better each time since - the memories are still there but they don't affect me the same way. These days the memories don't pop up so often, I'm no longer using them to punish myself which is basically what it is - punishment. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life.

[Zanther]

I second the point that if you don't learn your lesson, you might repeat the mistake. My college psychology teacher once told me of a study where they erased the memory (I assume through hypnosis?) of a couple who had a horrible breakup and wanted to forget each other completely. Well, they ended up meeting, falling in love again, and breaking up horribly. The memory erasure was done AGAIN, and guess what....they met, fell in love, and broke up bitterly, yet AGAIN.

[Unregistered]

I have suffered a very traumatic event which I regret very much. Is it possible to use hypnosis to forget about the event? I understand that it might not be the BEST way to go, but is it POSSIBLE? If so, how long will it be gone from my memory?

If not possible, in what ways can hypnosis help me to handle the event?

NO. Hypnosis will not help. Deal with it. 98% you wanted the traumatic event to happen? Same old story.

[Keith Livingston]

NO. Hypnosis will not help. Deal with it. 98% you wanted the traumatic event to happen? Same old story.Wow,
An extremely thoughtful, helpful and insighful reply given in the spirit of brotherly (or sisterly) love.

Hypnosis can help you process the old memory so it doesn't sting any more. I typically use something akin to the NLP fast phobia cure wiht a few bits of re-imprinting throwin in.

Good luck,
Keith Livingston

[sadone]

It's been a while since my experience now. I have not yet seen any therapeut or done anything, instead I am trying not to think about it and convince my self that it wasn't such a big deal. However, it is not easy. I am constantly feeling bad about it and think about it pretty much all the time. No constructive thoughts though, only generally that I am bad and should not feel good because of what I did.

I am not sure what to do, I am thinking about seeing a therapeut, but I am still in doubt, since I am hoping that my bad feelings will diminish if I only wait a long time. At least, they sting less now than they did 4 weeks ago. However, I am still suffering pretty bad from them. Also, I feel really worried about telling a therapeut about what I did, since I am so ashamed of it.

Could hypnosis help me? I just want to get rid of my constant "I am bad"-feeling that is eating me, I would also like to just stop wasting time thinking about it and get on with my life. Please explan, what would a hypnotherapist do in this situation?

[sadone]

I forget to ask; How many sessions/how much time is it likely to take before I start feeling better / is fully "cured" (if possible)?

[Unregistered]

Sadone,

please note Im a reader on this not a hypno/or therapist of any kind.
I too had done something years ago and at times it comes to mind to almost say "hey Im still here to let you know you did this". I say ya I know and I wont do it again thanks- by- go away you a cant/wont hurt me any more. I had to forgive myself for what I did to the other person, no matter if that person forgave ME or not. He said he has and we have both moved on BUT it still haunts ME today. As I have read above, it may still come back but its truely up to you to control it and kick it to the curb! When and it will comes back to "stab you" in the side of your brain and heart- because your heart hurts so deep, you MUST say ya ok I did it but YOU just gotta go see ya onto the curb you go and next thought is positive, about you and how good you are to yourself now and forever. I too was desperate to get a quick fix but was told (as mentioned about) it could come back to Haunt you in other ways - lil trigger in your mind. as the voice inside you that screams "YOU DID THIS"!!!!! Your not letting it go. For me I had to forgive ME. Nothing you have done can be forgotten but can be forgiven. I do hope you get the help you deserve because if YOU allow it - it will control your life and destroy you inside.And only you can allow it to destroy you. I got over it with time and actknowledgement. But the pain is no longer. You obviously know you wont DO IT again, so get rid of "IT."

[Unregistered]

Merlin,

Do u know of which hypnotherapists do the 'getting rid of the emotions attached to the memory thing?

aliyah

[Don]

While I'm not Merlin (she's much cuter than I), just about any hypnotherapist should be able to help you with this.

[Don]

Hmmm. Let me add a bit to this. Many hypnotherapists make their "bread and butter" out of weight management and smoking cessation. You may need to go to a hypnotherapist who has a far wider range than that.

[rcs]

Sadone,

I truly have empathy for you.

Let me explain… Many years ago (yet another black & white flash back) I used to be in the police force in a different country. I had done some horrific things in my time to which I am not proud of in the slightest. This in fact is probably the first time I have mentioned it in about tens years. Since though I have moved on, seen and done much. I now practice as a therapist; fortunately I can now help others through times of extreme guilt and remorse.

My experience, I have learnt to live with and now channel to a more positive outcome. Your plea is to remove something from your life, an experience. Whether it is a positive one or not, it is an experience nether the less. How you choose to deal with it is up to you. But I assure you, the only positive way forward is to not erase, but to learn and use.
Seek therapy, hypnosis or counselling. Adapt and survive.
Regards, Richard.:)

[rodimus]

I certainly understand what you are saying, as for now I am just exploring my options. The one thing I cannot understand is that the event I am speaking of, something I did voluntarily but regret from the bottom of my heart, could ever become something like "yesterday's lunch". The feelings, regret, and guilt I feel about it are just killing me. I cannot imagine that it is possible to keep the event in my memory but not feel the above feelings about it. Is that really possible, regardless of the seriousness of the event in question? I doubt it, but I am very open to listening to what you experienced people have to say about it.



Sadstone,

It can be done. I had such experience before, eventho it was not really bad under the circumstance i went thru, I still felt the regret and pain as it broke my personal rule, and I tried lots of ways to forget the memory.
NOTE: IT IS A GOOD IDEA TO FORGET THE MEMORY IF YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY COMMITTED NEVER TO REPEAT IT AGAIN. If not, forgetting it will only cause you to forget why you dont want to repeat it.

There are several things we need to understand first off. You can never really forget (normal understanding of 'forget') something completely. What happend in the past is a resource in your mind. What you can do is to change the memory into some other more desirable pathways.

1. The past event is gone, it does not exist now, EXCEPT in your own mind. Perhaps nobody in this entire universe remembers it that way, other than yourself. So it is all a re-presentation you make to yourself in your mind.
It is as 'real' as a dream you had 10 days ago.

2. Learn to forgive yourself. Everybody has made mistakes due to ignorance at some time in their life. Blame it all on ignorance. You are not your behaviour, although you are responsible for that action/choice, but if you learn from it and resolve to not repeat it again, then "thy sins can be blotted out" and remembered no more. Know that Life/God loves you without judgement, and in the end it is you who judge yourself. If you resolve to change to be better, then it is forgiven.

3. Know that re-focusing on a past mistake is a mistake in itself. For by doing so, you are not using your focus properly, and risk getting into a cycle of depression, low self esteem, poor state, that may lead you to get frustrated and do unwise things again.

I list 2 methods here, i have several more which include using metaphors etc.

Method A:
In NLP, there is something called Reimprinting, where you take a resource from the present moment. A resource is something such as a state, an understanding, a new belief, a new perspective etc. Lets say the resource is a new understanding and better perspective at looking at the trigger event.
You , take that new understanding/perspective now, and go back to the memory, before the mistake you made. Go back before the trigger thing or event that triggered the mistake you made. Now, with the new you, go into your body in the memory (before the trigger, or just after it, depending what the trigger is), and with the new resource in your memory you take a new action, and run the memory into a new pathway that you think would have been the best action to take at that time.

Sometimes you need to do this a few times for it to make an impression. BUt this is also the way some Hindus teach about erasing or transcending some regretful karma.

You can try rewinding RAPIDLY (whiile disassociated) that painful memory from end to start, then play it forward at normal speed with u associated, and with the new resource and action.

Method B:
Push the picture of the mistake event far away until its so small (preferably into your past in your timeline), and then, in the gap between you and the far away picture, put lots of other new memories pictures. You can create new outcome pictures. This makes the memory seem too far away to make an impact on you, and putting new good memories in between them creates a buffer. IN the end, push the bad memory out of your scope, imagine your mind has a boundary (circumference?)out there, and push that picture out, or melt it down.

[rodimus]

Quote:
Originally Posted by sadone

I certainly understand what you are saying, as for now I am just exploring my options. The one thing I cannot understand is that the event I am speaking of, something I did voluntarily but regret from the bottom of my heart, could ever become something like "yesterday's lunch". The feelings, regret, and guilt I feel about it are just killing me. I cannot imagine that it is possible to keep the event in my memory but not feel the above feelings about it. Is that really possible, regardless of the seriousness of the event in question? I doubt it, but I am very open to listening to what you experienced people have to say about it.





Sadstone,

It can be done. I had such experience before, eventho it was not really bad under the circumstance i went thru, I felt the regret and pain as it broke my personal rule, and I tried lots of ways to forget the memory.
NOTE: IT IS A GOOD IDEA TO FORGET THE MEMORY IF YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY COMMITTED NEVER TO REPEAT IT AGAIN. If not, forgetting it will only cause you to forget why you dont want to repeat it.

There are several things we need to understand first off. You can never really forget (normal understanding of 'forget') something completely. What happend in the past is a resource in your mind. What you can do is to change the memory into some other more desirable pathways.

1. The past event is gone, it does not exist now, EXCEPT in your own mind. Perhaps nobody in this entire universe remembers it that way, other than yourself. So it is all a re-presentation you make to yourself in your mind.
It is as 'real' as a dream you had 10 days ago.

2. Learn to forgive yourself. Everybody has made mistakes due to ignorance at some time in their life. Blame it all on ignorance. You are not your behaviour, although you are responsible for that action/choice, but if you learn from it and resolve to not repeat it again, then "thy sins can be blotted out" and remembered no more. Know that Life/God loves you without judgement, and in the end it is you who judge yourself. If you resolve to change to be better, then it is forgiven.

3. Know that re-focusing on a past mistake is a mistake in itself. For by doing so, you are not using your focus properly, and risk getting into a cycle of depression, low self esteem, poor state, that may lead you to get frustrated and do unwise things again.

I list 2 methods here, i have several more which include using metaphors etc.

Method A:
In NLP, there is something called Reimprinting, where you take a resource from the present moment. A resource is something such as a state, an understanding, a new belief, a new perspective etc. Lets say the resource is a new understanding and better perspective at looking at the trigger event.
You , take that new understanding/perspective now, and go back to the memory, before the mistake you made. Go back before the trigger thing or event that triggered the mistake you made. Now, with the new you, go into your body in the memory (before the trigger, or just after it, depending what the trigger is), and with the new resource in your memory you take a new action, and run the memory into a new pathway that you think would have been the best action to take at that time.

Sometimes you need to do this a few times for it to make an impression. BUt this is also the way some Hindus teach about erasing or transcending some regretful karma.

You can try rewinding RAPIDLY (whiile disassociated) that painful memory from end to start, then play it forward at normal speed with u associated, and with the new resource and action.

Method B:
Push the picture of the mistake event far away until its so small (preferably into your past in your timeline), and then, in the gap between you and the far away picture, put lots of other new memories pictures. You can create new outcome pictures. This makes the memory seem too far away to make an impact on you, and putting new good memories in between them creates a buffer. IN the end, push the bad memory out of your scope, imagine your mind has a boundary (circumference?)out there, and push that picture out, or melt it down.

[Suprise]

HI my birthday is tomorrow so is my suprise party that i found out about and i really dont want to know about it!! is there a way to forget by tomorrow??

[Dorkko]

Been there, done that. The forgetting was the easy part. The recall was hell. Anyone resorting to posthypnotic amnesia as a last treatment option should make sure that he/she always has someone nearby who remembers the true story. Unfortunately my "guardian angel" was really a Judis and during my recall he actually tried to drive me crazy as a way of protecting his involvement both in the underlying event forgotten and in arranging my hypnosis. I ending up having to cue my own way back by investigating some of my own past. It would take a book for me to describe all of what I went through. It was a real nightmare. The story was so crazy to begin with I just knew no one would believe me. That and my old friend/nemisis fueled my anxiety.

Make sure you have a very close friend or relative act as your guardian angel.

[savvy1]

Forgive and be forgiven, i find this theraputic.

[skip]

Savvy,

Specifically what does this forgiveness entail?

[savvy1]

It means letting go of the emotions associated with past events involving other people, maybe with timeline therapy.

[skip]

Savvy1,

That didnt tell me a damn thing.

Does forgiveness/letting go mean I just dont care about it any more, but can still think of the other person as a ****wit?

Does forgiveness/letting go mean just neutral about the whole thing the incident and the individual?

Does forgiveness/letting go mean mean neutral about the incident but loving and caring about the individual?

See Savvy1, Im a pretty forgiving guy, but I have a good memory. Someone once indicated that forgiveness was far more than I ever dreamed.

Say you are in Vegas, and you decide that if you win, you will send your ex-wife, a percentage of the winnings. Now I would have thought that would demonstrate a pretty damn forgiving attitude. That is until someone pointed out to me that REAL forgiveness would be to send her a percentage whether you won or lost.

WTF? How many of us have "really forgiven" by that criteria?

So really if you are going to offer Sadone useful advice, that she could actually apply in her life, how would you specify to her, and me, to actually go about forgiving, and how would we know we have succeeded?

skip

[savvy1]

No doubt you an experienced practitioner, whilst i have barely scratched the surface.

I am not qualifyed to give advice, i was simply sharing what helped me because i
thought i could relate.

If you want a specific answer to what forgiving means have a look in the dictionary, your definition is obviously different to mine.

And while your there look up Metaphor that was terrible!

[skip]

I am an experienced hypnotist, but very much an amature forgiver. I thought I was talking to an experienced forgiver.

It's not my metaphor, it is actually the one the person used to illustrate forgiveness. It took forgivreness to a level I wasnt ready for, how about you?

If everyone gets to use their own idea of forgiveness, then someone who thinks forgiveness necessitates a .38 caliber to the brain pan, would naturally think they would get the same results as you, and perhaps they would.

Would it be what you intended?

I doubt it.

Now you might think I am being excessively anal, and getting on your case when all you tried to do was help.

And to a degree you would be right, I am getting on your case, and all you tried to do was help. And it is in that spirit of you trying to help, that I am trying to help you actually help, as you origionally intended.

If your forgiveness really works, as you indicated, and I have no reason to doubt, then Sadone might want to duplicate it. And do you suppose that looking in Webster's is going to help her duplicate your experience? I do have doubts about that, wouldnt you?

Ill be happy to leave it alone, and hope that the next time you offer advice you will do more than offer a platitude. Would that be fair?

skip

[savvy1]

If what i said was a platitude i am sincerly sorry!

Forgiven?

[skip]

Forgiven?

What for?

Trying to be helpful?

No transgression, no need for forgiveness.

Just trying to clarify.

cheers,

skip

[savvy1]

I just wanted to see your reaction.

Once again well moderated!

[Unregistered guest 2]

Sadone i know what you are going through, I too did something voluntarily which i regret to the upmost. I have practically forgiven myself by realising what i did was out of ignorance at the time. I now face the problem of what other people would think of me if they knew. Do the ones close to me have a right to know even if they may not want to associate with me afterwards? This is what has begun to haunt me, any insight will be appreciated.

[ems]

I have suffered a very traumatic event which I regret very much. Is it possible to use hypnosis to forget about the event? I understand that it might not be the BEST way to go, but is it POSSIBLE? If so, how long will it be gone from my memory?

If not possible, in what ways can hypnosis help me to handle the event?

Hi. I came across the website via Google search. Would you mind sharing what you've learned with me? Estelle