Rapport and NLP

[abhaya]

Excuse me for the mispelling...=). I had an NLP counselor respond (he didn't tell me he was using nlp) to me this way. I would say something and then he would mirror me by saying... "Maybe I am stating my political persuasion but I also think..."-which would be the same political view as mine. Or I would give him an incident about a family trip to California and he would say CA? I lived in CA and then relate how he loves California. In a sense, he used the same languages and verbal cues one gives on a date when one is trying to get the other to like him. I didn't find it phony. I found him real. But I wondered if he liked me "for real". It created thoughts in my head, romantically, that I didn't understand. In fact, my first impression is that he wasn't my type. But by the third session, I was in "infatuation" with him. It turns out he was just using NLP with me. Isn't that the wrong impression we want to give a patient? If there is too much rapport, doesn't that create problems as well? I mean- we don't want to create the "Lord of the Ring affect" where Gollum only identifies with the ring as himself.

[Connie]

There's a phenomenon which can occur in a patient/analyst setting, it's called "transference."

Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary (http://dictionary.reference.com/help/mwmed.html) - Cite This Source (http://dictionary.reference.com/cite.html?qh=transference&ia=mwmed)
Main Entry: trans·fer·ence
Pronunciation: tran(t)s-'f&r-&n(t)s, 'tran(t)s-(")
Function: noun
: the redirection of feelings and desires and especially of those unconsciously retained from childhood toward a new object (as a psychoanalyst conducting therapy)
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2002 Merriam-Webster, Inc.

Rapport may help it along, but it's not an uncommon thing to develop warm feelings for someone who is helping you in dramatic ways.

[abhaya]

I know what transference is and I have had other therapists in the past who have helped me tremendously (even more than this one). In fact, I first dismissed it as transference. He's helping me so that is why he is trying to create rapport with me. But I have never had a therapist take an active NLP role by distracting the conversation when clearly rappport has been established and the client is open. His voice and questions, were definately in a direction that supersedes the therapist's attempt at NLP rapport. At the first indication of transference...I assume one should use counter-transference techniques. But I see none of those counter transference techniques...in fact I find him uncomfortably forward. Is this NLP or something more? Shouldn't NLP be used to keep the client moving forward in healing rather than distracting the client?

I hate to say it but there are also romantic and relational hypnotherapy books in his waiting room...am I reading too much into this? Your honest opinions are appreciated.

[Merlin]

Rapport is not the issue.

[Poodle]

It doesn't read as if NLP is either. At one time there was a psychiatrist, I believe in Europe. He did NOTHING to entice a female patient but she was quite taken with him although he never knew it. She even had wedding announcements printed, hand addressed and was at the mail box ready to drop them in when she finally REALIZED it was just her imagination at work.

[abhaya]

First of all, I am already married. Secondly, the therapist asked me out on a date -so it's official. The guy is a scumbag. Onto another therapist! I went to him because he took my insurance. I need to trust my instincts!!! Is there an NLP script for that? I am not going to call him on his unethical behavior. I don't have the time.

[Poodle]

That is your subconscious mind talking to you. Pay attention!

This is now reminding me a little of a person that knew just a little NLP. As is usually the case, a little knowledge is harmful while a lot is just plain wonderful. Anyway, this person was a counselor and would EXACTLY MIRROR the behavior of the client in such an obvious way that the client would change the behavior so the counselor would change that behavior to match the client's AGAIN. The client was referred to as "resistant". Interesting belief but definitely does not fit in my model of the world nor will it ever. Pood

[Simple Guy]

Hi Poodle,

*Can't say that that counselor that you are reminded of wasn't
effective in changing behavior by playing monkey-see-monkey-do.
Also can't say that the client wasn't effective in changing
the counselor's behavior with the same game. Maybe the changes
went so far that the client went to a more competent counselor
and the counselor changed to a different line of work. ;) You've got
to wonder, though, to what extent the "little NLP" was responsible as opposed to
really crappy interpersonal skills. Among the legions of counselors
practicing for decades are those with interpersonal (and personal)
skills that would make monkeys look good. And clients' insurance
often reimburses for their services. :eek:

*Taking this case as metaphor only. Not forming any personal conclusion
about the "resistance."

[Shreddd]

Haha, NLP has been professionally used in seduction since like the early 90's. NLP is amazing at building trust and comfort and emotional connection. I use it to format all my interactions - professional, social, and sensual. Over time, it just becomes a part of you. Watch out for guys like me. Thank God you know the tricks before they stick.

[Shreddd]

Rapport is not the issue.
Rapport is an essential element to trigger infatuation, nonetheless.

[Jack]

I am not going to call him on his unethical behavior. I don't have the time.

You should. However, NLP is not the seduction tool it is believed to be. Rapport is, and needs no training in NLP. It's called love when it's genuine.;)
Jack

[Don]

Rapport is an essential element to trigger infatuation, nonetheless.

That's like saying chocolate is an essential element in making chocolate cake. True, but it ignore the quantity, and quality of the chocolate, as well as the need for flour, sugar, backing powder, eggs, milk, butter, and an oven.

[Terry]

I am curious. We don;t know you, and you don;t know us, yet you come to a group of strangers, and complain about someone we know nothing of, and expect us it would seem to either do something about it, or give advise of value to you!
You say you don;t intend to act yourself, therefor, my advise is, "stop wasting our time." I have little patience with those who wish to load the gun but have others fire it for them....

[Merlin]

Rapport is an essential element to trigger infatuation, nonetheless.

It's overrated.
Not nearly as essential as believed.
But it is nice :)

[Merlin]

Haha, NLP has been professionally used in seduction since like the early 90's.

Professionally?
Like you get paid to seduce?
Do you stand around street corners waiting for customers?

[Connie]

I have a story about rapport...

I was having lunch with my NLP instructor and some classmates the other day and noticed a bit of something dark and green stuck in his teeth at the top of his gums. I didn't want to embarass him in front of the others but I couldn't take looking at it anymore. It was huge and it was disgusting. So I told him--using those words. To the great amusement of everyone at the table. I knew he wouldn't be offended, because he's my bud.

Anyway, then he told ME that I also had something stuck in my teeth. Rather than embarass me, I found it even more amusing. My response: "We are soooooo in rapport!" :)

I was so in rapport with him that I was matching the food stuck in his teeth. Now, that's simpatico.

[Poodle]

I have heard that human beings have something called "fairmons" - please excuse my spelling. When the female "fairmon" meets with the correct male "fairmon", then you have it!! I've also heard that human females respond really well to certain pig "fairmons". OMG!! :D

This has nothing to do with the world of rapport. ;)

[Connie]

pheromones

[Poodle]

Thanks. I was too lazy to look it up. LOL. Pood

[Jack]

I've also heard that human females respond really well to certain pig "fairmons". OMG!! :D

Explains why so many women marry pigs. :D

Jack

[Connie]

I prefer to think instant attraction is based on something deeper than scents or chemicals, something on a more spiritual level.

[Jack]

I prefer to think instant attraction is based on something deeper than scents or chemicals, something on a more spiritual level.

We would all prefer to think that, Connie. It gives our humanity meaning. But at least a part of human attraction is based upon pongs, physical appearance, sexual prowess, voice, movement, our own prejudices and a host of other factors.

If you believe in souls and their immortality then love and attraction are easily explained in non-physical terms.

Jack

Look not in my eyes, for fear
They mirror true the sight I see,
And there you find your face too clear
And love it and be lost like me.

AE Housman ( From 'A Shropshire Lad')

[Shreddd]

Professionally?
Like you get paid to seduce?
Do you stand around street corners waiting for customers?
Haha, no that's creepy to stand on corners and wait for customers. Although I could if I wanted to and probably get away with it. I'm glad I'm not the only smartass on the forums.

Na, I don't think anyone is paid to seduce directly. However, learned men do get paid to teach seduction to the less fortunate men. There's workshops, seminars, books, audios, videos, training programs, etc. It's getting to be a huge industry. It's predominantly a male industry...although I really don't think it should be as much as it is.

And yeah, I like that chocolate cake analogy. I agree that although chocolate is all over, you got to put more in some spots that others. And who would date someone they didn't trust and feel comfortable with at least a little bit? Very few people on this earth.

Building rapport doesn't need NLP, but NLP can speed it up if you're new to the thought of making rapport quickly. Rather than using implied commands, perhaps you could issue a challenge or a tease that would get the same reaction for her to do or say something. Haha, I shouldn't be discussing this here. If someone wants me to better explain this, just PM me.

[Don]

Shredd, your post implies that you know all about using NLP for seduction (you're willing to let others PM you about it). You also say that there are "workshops, seminars, books, audios, videos, training programs, etc.," implying to me that you have paid for some of them.

On the other hand, you also stated that you felt improving your study habits was only worth $20 and you couldn't afford any more.

This means to me that either you don't know all about using NLP for seduction and any PM from you on this would be worthless, or you place a low value on actually changing your poor study habits implying a low self-image or a totally twisted sense of what is of value.

You say that "building rapport doesn't need NLP, but NLP can speed it up." Hmm. If you don't know anything about NLP and want people here to train you for free, either you are making this up or you have not been truthful in your posts.

You're also assuming that people here haven't already studied many of the so-called PUA books, trainings, etc., and seen them for what they are: incomplete, inconsistent, and not very successful.

And as I stated in another post, you attitude that "I could if I wanted to and probably get away with it" indicates a potential for sociopathic behavior and I would suggest that you get into therapy of some kind at your earliest opportunity before you harm someone and end up incarcerated.

[Poodle]

exactly why Shredd can't or doesn't study in college. Waaay tooo busy trying to seduce females. Please notice I used the word "trying".

I've often thought it could be a good idea to have seminars for females so they know the tricks and it will be impossible to have such rotten behaviour work even a tinsey-winsey little bit on the female population while they can learn the exact same to use on the male population. That said in itself, it is a great thing for every female to know NLP and know it well. Just not for this but to have great parenting skills in the future and wonderful personal skills to increased job promotion.

Sort of takes me back to the thread where Skip replied why would one want to use a confusion anchor on a hard working waitress. Could it be lack of ethics or morals? Hmmmm...... Pood

[Shreddd]

I'm going to like stop posting for a while...you guys are WAY too much. And what's with the sociopath thing? Gosh, just let it go. I'm not that skilled at NLP, but what I do know, I do apply. And I totally agree that PUA books are inconsistent and incomplete. I've had the chance to read a few. But the purpose isn't to cover EVERYTHING there is about seduction - it's just to get guys headed in the right direction to improving their love life. It doesn't always work like that, and people get obsessed with learning everything without proper application, and all that knowledge can go to waste. BUT - it can help IF they put it to good use.

And poodle - I like that idea too. I wish some girl would NLP me into a fit of pleasure.

"Hey, I got an idea. Let's gang up and beat up Shreddd. My ego feels good just thinking about it."

[Jack]

Shredd, forget all the NLP seduction stuff. Just like women and enjoy their company and you will need no techniques and tricks. It is surprising how many men who study seduction do so because they actively dislike women but are driven to pursue them by either hormones or a lust for power. Neither is particularly attractive to most women.

Let me tell you a secret: As all hypnosis is self-hypnosis so all seduction is self-seduction.

Tricks not needed. Or even useful.

Jack

[Shreddd]

Shredd, forget all the NLP seduction stuff. Just like women and enjoy their company and you will need no techniques and tricks. It is surprising how many men who study seduction do so because they actively dislike women but are driven to pursue them by either hormones or a lust for power. Neither is particularly attractive to most women.

Let me tell you a secret: As all hypnosis is self-hypnosis so all seduction is self-seduction.

Tricks not needed. Or even useful.

Jack
If you only knew how limited your perspective is...

[Poodle]

For how many years have you been doing all of this now? And to think someone with NO training is disputing your words. tisk, tisk

I told shredd exactly what was the matter wish him - a dysfunctional strategy and shredd is supposed to know about NLP so he should be able to change that strategy himself.

[Jack]

If you only knew how limited your perspective is...

Seems to have hit a nerve...was it something I said?

Jack

[Shreddd]

Seems to have hit a nerve...was it something I said?

Jack
Probably.

Actually, what you said was quite correct. I'm manipulative because I was hurt by women. I misread it the first time. I thought you were saying that all guys were like me that were practicing the seduction arts. I'm a minority. Some guys think it's fun, some want true love, and some like the power. I'm a mix of all three. And I do try to display genuine interest - it's just hard. I hate revealing my deeper motives - they've been trampled on so many times. I'll figure this thing out, but in the mean time - don't dis all the community guys. All in all, 70% of them are genuinely nice people who just need a little push in the right direction.

[Poodle]

A bit of advice on a cognitive level from a lady, not a "poodle guy". Learn to love YOU first. (That's the hard part.) Then go to a party or social gathering and just sit with a lovely smile on your face radiating out love for all humanity. You, son, will be a chick magnet. You don't need NLP or hypnosis. It's really that easy and that difficult. ;)

[Jack]

Women are not angels.They can be cruel and unthinking. Neither are they permanent mother replacements or vaginas on legs, although some behave as if they are.

But correct me if I am wrong, I think you are saying that you prefer to manipulate first rather than investigate the woman and who she is. I understand the avoidance of pain logic based on what you have said.

But where will it get you? What will always be the outcome?

Human relationships are not easy and frequently painful, but pain is part of the human condition; it is what allows us to understand what happiness is.

As for disrespecting anyone, well, I do disrespect people who callously manipulate another human being for their own gratification, and I make no apology for that. The 70% you talk about are my clients, the ones who come along with confidence or self-esteem issues and whom I help to understand that they are not broken, or unworthy or odd in any way.

I and most other hypnotherapists/NLPers do this from a perspective of utilising the client's own resources, and not from teaching tricks that will get them into the pants of unsuspecting women, and bring them back to me after a few years with the same self-esteem issues and sometimes intractable problems with their conception of women. Apart from the client there is also the question of the women who are damaged by these cut-price Casanovas. Who is ethically responsible for them?

The push the folks you mention need is not learning seduction techniques but learning how to respect and trust themselves. The rest follows.

Honest.

Jack

[Henrik]

The push the folks you mention need is not learning seduction techniques but learning how to respect and trust themselves. The rest follows.

Honest.

Jack


A bit of advice on a cognitive level from a lady, not a "poodle guy". Learn to love YOU first. (That's the hard part.) .... It's really that easy and that difficult.



So true both of you. It's the big 'secret'. The little secret is how to do this.

[Jack]

So true both of you. It's the big 'secret'. The little secret is how to do this.

The little secret is called hypnotherapy, Henrik.:)
Damn! Now I've let the cat out of the bag.

Jack

[Merlin]

Thank you.
I prefer being out of the bag <prrrrrrrrrr>

[Jack]

Thank you.
I prefer being out of the bag <prrrrrrrrrr>

As we all prefer you to be.;)

Jack

[signeos]

well this is funny, you guys are hilarious.
On infatuation, depending on your own personal beliefs of infatuation, it could have something to do with women and having them fall in love with you. What i am getting at is women are like cats, and i refer to infatuation as the simile of a cat and a women. A cat if you ignore it will come close and purr and rub against you until you give the cat what it wants and then it walks away.
disecting this statement, infatuation = a state of complete interest caused by a state of x by someone other than yourself, until a state of y is satisfied.

x could be complete interest or rapport , while
y may be low self asteem, or need to be liked.

once they are satisfied they begin to discover of states of minds to be satisfied next, so they lose the original infatuation and move on. The idea behind seduction, and picking up women is completely controlling to the interaction to elicit states in which need to be satisfied and constantly shifting between states to hold interest and increase infatuation.

now no negative comments (reverse psychology) take this for what it is, an opinion by a common class citizen of the US of A. I don't have any proof or authority on the information herefor imparted, if you wish to accept these ideas and opinions on common themes, then please do, but if you disagree with any statements previously stated then please keep your peace, i am not here to start fights or get into arguments thank you.
above is an example on how i believe richard bandler and john grinder came to the realization on how they discovered and modeled therapists to create NLP. I incorporated the x, and y, association seeing how richard bandler was a great mathematician and computer expert.

[Connie]

I don't have any proof or authority on the information herefor imparted, if you wish to accept these ideas and opinions on common themes, then please do, but if you disagree with any statements previously stated then please keep your peace, i am not here to start fights or get into arguments thank you.


Hi! This is an open forum board. There will be conversation, pro and con and everything in between and non sequitors as well. Telling people to shut up if they don't agree, well, that's not going to win you friends or influence anyone. What role model inspired you to that statement?

[Jack]

I bet the cats just can't keep away from you.
And the women can't get away fast enough.

But continue to post to help increase our hilarity
quotient.:)

Jack

[signeos]

yeh, i tried, god damn i think i am so funny, seriously read that post and try not to take it seriously. a fish walks down the street, who eats the fish?
fish can't walk.

thats talking on this forum.
you don't ask does the fish have legs in your perception of the world.
no instead you guys rationalize, and apply information to what you know instead of trying to find out what the other person knows, according to his own design and ideas. The keys to understanding someone is to be non-judgemental of any aspect of who they think they are, and to just accept there view of the world, accept there view without changing yours, if you know who you are you aren't afraid of anyone around you changing your beliefs, and how you think.

hahaha
funny ****,
okay i agree with jack on many levels, the only problem is his inability to change, and be fluid, within his inner self. People have a concept, and thats people in general, that think a women is one person cutout of paper. All the pua techniques and books, videos and ****, are for a very specific type of women. The techniques wont work because there techniques, techniques are stable mechanisms meant to be applied in one way, or a set number of ways. What they don't tell you (and no this is not a sales technique to trick you into information thats out there for free) is that women are different, generalizations may be made about them as a sex but these are nonspecific and vague, too vague to assume that some technique will work on all women. The key to popular seduction today is attracting a certain type of woman. The problem, it will never work 100% of the time, unless we learn to adapt ourselves internally to outer situations. By discovering the specialness within each and every person you meet you will begin to notice that that is what seduction is, noticing the uniqueness of everyone around you. 3 years ago i began studying the field of what now is known and Pickup artistry, my intial goal was to get women to like me. As i was studying i learned the flaws of the material out there and what it teaches, to trick women into liking you. I never meant to learn how to trick people into liking me, so i read as much material as i could and went out with the goal of improving my social life in its entirety, before i learned the ideas and theories, i thought of myself as a loser, i had no friends, and i was alone for most my life. I would never have thought of walking up to some guys hanging outside of comp usa, talking with them and getting invited to go to a rave in las vegas with them. These were just regular people, i didn't try to change them, trick them, or bully them, i accepted there view of the world, i disagree with going to a rave, i told them that straight up, but they still insisted i went. I didn't ridicule them on being druggies and how they lived their life, i just accepted there view of the world, and let it not interfere with my own. The seduction and pua material out there today give you some good ways to learn to be social, they set the ground for you to go out there and be someone, they teach you stuff that to most people might seem easy, for example how to talk to someone and hold a conversation, to most people that would be easy right, yeah i was diagnosed with a mild case of autism as a child, anti-social the usual, after applying and learning simple social skills, everyone assumes everyone else has i became who i am today.

you don't make friends by pointing out there flaws and shoving it down there throat.

p.s. i learn by experiance and the results i get, so i know what i'm doing works, because i get the results i want.

[Don]

i know what i'm doing works, because i get the results i want.


Uh, no. All you've shown is a temporal relationship--

R [result] occurs after A [Action].

However, to show that A caused R you have to show more than a time-based relationship.

I would guess that 99.95+% of Heroin addicts drank milk as children. This does not prove that milk consumption as a child results in heroin addiction, only that the results follow the action.

[Poodle]

to say that certain techniques do NOT work 100% of the time is a definite lack of understanding of the student or the teacher.

Gosh darn Don. I drank MILK as a child and I still drink MILK. I just happen to like MILK especially when the weather is cool. Again you are correct. I have not been into H yet. LOL!! Pood

[signeos]

Poodle, i love your nonsensical humor, and Don, love it man, i never think about that, i have a terrible memory.
anyways back on point and counterpoint.
take A away and if R goes with it then that should be conclusive evidence pertaining to a justification that milk does cause people to be addicted to heroin.

[Jack]

Signeos, I have no intention of making you my friend, merely in pointing out the errors in your thinking. If that goes down your throat, it is your throat and your decision to shove it there.

you guys rationalize, and apply information to what you know instead of trying to find out what the other person knows, according to his own design and ideas. The keys to understanding someone is to be non-judgemental of any aspect of who they think they are, and to just accept there view of the world, accept there view without changing yours, if you know who you are you aren't afraid of anyone around you changing your beliefs, and how you think.

...Do you really believe that experienced hypnotherapists run through a series of techniques without a thought for the client's map? Exactly the opposite is true, and if you had taken the time to examine any of the archive postings you would see that. Challenging a client's belief is not based upon fear but upon a desire to know if the belief is based on anything useful and if it is not and is causing harm then to assist the client to change the belief. Clear?

There is nothing wrong with learning social skills. There is a lot wrong with tricking people into having sex for your own gratification. Can you see the difference? Over the years I have read much of the available 'pua' material and most of it is absolute tripe. Some of it however will help those who are socially reticent but most of it is simply about exploiting women for sex. Most teenage boys would think 'Great! Lead me to it!' but adults would understand a little about the effects of this exploitation on the exploited.

I think you are in the former category. Good luck in growing up, you will need it.

Jack

[Terry]

To say what I think of Signeos out loud would cause our ladies to blush:...
HE finds us unfriendly it seems, wonder why? HE finds us ignorant of the facts, wonder why? HE finds us all that he is NOT; no need to wonder why!
Welllllllllll, perhaps I SHOULD add, I for one have no desire to be friendly, I find him a ... time waster..:eek:

[Don]

take A away and if R goes with it then that should be conclusive evidence pertaining to a justification that milk does cause people to be addicted to heroin.

Unfortunately, no. What you're describing is what I refer to as "pop" science. It seems right but isn't.

If A then R, and if not-A then not-R would, indeed, prove a direct relationship.

However, what you've suggested is:
R is.
Remove A then R ceases.

What you've actually shown is that there is a relationship between A and R, but you still have not shown that there is a causal relationship between the two.

For example. Assume a person who uses heroin has consumed milk since he was a child. The false assumption would be that drinking milk causes heroin addiction.

Now assume that he goes through intensive therapy and detox. During that time he comes to believe that drinking milk isn't a good thing and he stops drinking milk. Eventually, he stops taking heroin.

It still only shows a temporal relationship between drinking milk and being a heroin addict. It does not show a causal relationship.

[signeos]

I apologize for using such few words with so many different meanings.
I just realized how vague I was and what i was trying to say.
You have allowed me to realize that so many more conditions
can be applied to this, and if we had a controlled environment
where only milk and heroine was introduced to the child from
birth and he grew up being addicted to heroine and every day
he drank milk, remember only milk and heroine no other random
variables. Suddenly one day if you take milk away, and heroin
has stopped getting used, then one can prove without a
doubt that milk is one cause of herion addiction.
In reality there is so much more that can happen
to the subject that just can't be viewed.
To know that milk causes heroin addiction
for sure we must first understand that
the type of toothpaste he used, or
the food he ate wasn't also a cause.
Maybe the way he exercised caused it,
who would know. Get my point,
if i'm not getting it please
let me know.

[Don]

Signeos, I'm afraid that you still haven't proved your point.

With milk and heroin you're still dealing with a human being. Such a person has to eat, drink, and relate to other people. In human beings, you have to include environmental and other factors, any of which could have been involved.

To show a direct relationship you have to prove, scientifically, that A causes B.

In this example, you'd have to show that consumption of milk produces some chemical in the body that requires the use of heroin in order to normalize the body. Removing the milk consumption would end the production of the chemical and the requirement for heroin.

Now, let's take this back to the original subject of PUA.
1) You learned some skills
2) You are having more success with women
3) Therefore, the skills lead to more success with women

Unfortunately, that logic is highly flawed. It assumes you haven't learned anything else. It assumes that you have not matured. Is assumes that you have not developed other aspects that women find attractive.

What this all shows is that you have bought into the mind-set, the paradigm, of the PUA crowd. Is that paradigm valid? Not for me. I don't think it works at all. Give a guy who has bad breath, body odor, and intense insecurity some PUA techniques and he's not going to be successful. Proof? There's a whole TV show on MTV that shows just how little effect PUA techniques have.

You see, there's one feature that all the PUA teachers have and all the PUA students don't have: self-confidence.

In hypnosis, many of us have learned that "anything the hypnotist believes will cause trance tends to result in a trance." Last night I was at a party with where there were a lot of beautiful and sexy women. I had no problem at all meeting and talking with them--and getting them to ask me for my phone number. No PUA tricks were needed. I was simply in a place where women were interested in meeting interesting people and I was self-confident. I didn't need to pretend to be something I wasn't.

My friend, you've bought into a scam. Maybe you haven't paid hundreds or thousands of dollars, but others have, and psychologically they must defend the value of the money they spent. Knowing where to go and being self-confident is all you need.

But hey, if you want to follow all of the techniques and changing and being "fluid" rather than being yourself, more power to ya! Good on ya! Do whatever you must to convince yourself that something works.

But Signeos, many of the people who post here are experts on the mind. I'm not at their level, but you're going to have a hard time convincing people who have spent their lives learning how to help people overcome their programming and improve their lives that your premises, tricks, and "skills" are anything more than overly complex ways of creating false self-confidence and 2nd-rate rapport skills that will eventually blow-up in their faces.

[Terry]

Pood, you should have more respect for you own sex, or at least understand them better. No woman who respects herself, and has no desire for intimacy with a male, will be seduced by trickery, unless it is done by an expert, and I know of no expert in our field who would be of that mind fix, though I suppose they do exist.
Shredder is on my ignore list for good reason ...