Which NLP Techniques Should I Try?

[Zanther]

Hi guys,

I had a pretty bad relationship breakup. The girl was a pretty bad choice who ended up cheating with a close friend of mine. I've since terminated all contact with them.

I've gotten over really missing them (despite what they did, just b/c they were such a big part of my life for a long time), but I can't seem to get over the ex girlfriend and her new boyfriend. For awhile I tried remaining in contact with her, but she turned really *****y at the end and called me just to chat while in bed with him (tickling and laughing in the background). For awhile she pretended it was a friend, so when I found out he was boyfriend, it was pretty rough.

I've tried just visualization techniques where I place pictures of them that pop up through the day in the place where I put stuff like a job I wanted a kid, but no longer want. Is there something else I can do to STOP worrying about them being together?

I shouldn't care so much for so long. It's unhealthy (which must mean I have other issues going on which I'll try to get to as I read more about NLP). I can't afford a practicioner session, but will try stuff from books I can get ahold of.

So, it's not so much the missing, but worrying about bumping into her (them) again or what they're doing together, etc.

Thanks for your help. I'll research any technique names you give me or read any books your recommend.

[Terry (existing)]

Rather than trying something else, try NOT doing what you are doing now. You are constantly reminding yourself of the past, and then wondering why you can't forget it, doesn't make any sense to me, does it to you? Terry

[j0hnny#]

Rather than trying something else, try NOT doing what you are doing now. You are constantly reminding yourself of the past, and then wondering why you can't forget it, doesn't make any sense to me, does it to you? Terry
:rolleyes:
Sheesh Terry, have you ever loved anyone/thing more than you love yourself?

Still.... I think you have given Zanther some good advice. Seems to me (Zanther) you want to focus on getting yourself another babe who will love you as much as you love her... get on with an exciting new life - get some techniques for attracting that... Paul Scheele does a session on attracting your soul mate I believe.... maybe you could listen to that (though its not strictly NLP - though I think his stuff is excellent)

Best
Johnny

[Merlin]

Hi Zanther,

NLP technique? Seek out an experienced NeLPer :)

There are many techniques, such as TLT that would help. But self-help doesn't always work out.

[Zanther]

Rather than trying something else, try NOT doing what you are doing now. You are constantly reminding yourself of the past, and then wondering why you can't forget it, doesn't make any sense to me, does it to you? Terry
Oh, I agree! I've taken up new hobbies and anytime thoughts come up, I move them to the old/no-longer-want visual area (maybe that's the prob, i'm turning imagined fears into actual past?) and immediately trying to think of something else, turn on the radio, or recall a good memory. They visuals and sometimes just the feelings keep coming.

It's been working pretty decently, but I always feel the worry's presence somewhere in the back of my heard.



Thanks for the Scheel suggestion, too.

[Terry (existing)]

When I said "stop" I was reffering to your third paragraph regarding placing pictures in various places. Sounded really dumb to me, reminding yourself constantly, while wishing to forget. Did I misread what you wrote? Terry

[j0hnny#]

instead of placing them you could


If image: tilt them away from you, adjust (lower) brightness, turn them black and white, send them into the distance.... sh1t like that.

If movie: make the characters very small then ping them about with your finger, if associated (in) the experience... rerun it dissociated... Rerun with some in your-face-sounding music - say the Libertines - or some choir music or something....

In other words, whenever you find the thoughts coming up (and let's face it they are bound to if you loved her more than yourself, eh? - reframe them so they have no emotional impact, then they won't come up much anymore, and when or if they do you know what to do. Spend more time focusing on other stuff though... and remember you are better off than with that girl man.... she was psychic drain on you, ****tin on you like that. booo.. http://forum.hypnosis.com/images/icons/icon13.gif :)

[PaNzEr]

look at it this way man: at least you didnt end up spending the rest of your life with this ***** and your ass of a "friend". better you get rid of them now, no? what if the rest of your life would of been based on lies, or false "love"? see this as a lesson. it sucks when we have to leanr lessons the hard way i know. i am younger than you for sure, but dont worry i have experienced lots of things. now you can find a real girl that is worth your time.

[PaNzEr]

hmmm...NLP sounds so interesting

[Zanther]

When I said "stop" I was reffering to your third paragraph regarding placing pictures in various places. Sounded really dumb to me, reminding yourself constantly, while wishing to forget. Did I misread what you wrote? Terry
Thanks for the advice EVERYONE. I can't currently afford an NLP Practioner (or much at all), so just doing what I can.

Terry: I meant when pictures or memories popped into my head, I'd just move them away from right in front to my "trash" area, then think about something else.

Yeah, it's best I found out what kind of friends they both were now, both before they hurt me worse or they rubbed off on me somehow unconsciously. One tough part, is I don't want to have anything to do with them...but I still emotionally miss them as people or at least the roles they fulfilled (mentor/bestguyfriend & gf/bestfemalefriend).

I'm currently reading "Heart of the Mind" to see what I can get out of it and then starting "Beliefs"