Secondry gain

[beaches6]

I have a friend that was quite sick and with different types of therapy has improved her health. However, I notice on the weekend with her husband absent she was quite well and didn't complain about her symptoms, but as soon as the husband arrived her symptoms appeared again. On a sub-con level she does this as she is able to have him around her, have a house keeper, does not have to work, have all types of therapies eg. massage. How do you kindly point this out to her or should I wait for her to ask for help which I don't think she will because she has a lot to benifit from being like this. Your advice would be appreciated. thank you

[Merlin]

The better question might be
Who are you to decide how they should live?
If you have a relationship which allows such judgement, then share, if not, don't.

Everyone has 'secondary gain' about something.
But do *they* consider it broke?
If not, why fix it?

[beaches6]

If she comes to me for physcial treatments and for me to help her wouldn't it be better for her to have this pointed out as it might be just what she needs to hear to get better. And then let her be the judge of how she wants to keep living or die

[ensentium]

If she comes to me for physcial treatments and for me to help her wouldn't it be better for her to have this pointed out as it might be just what she needs to hear to get better. And then let her be the judge of how she wants to keep living or dieI understand your position and It seems logical to say yes here but it's really not your place to spark those kind of thoughts in her.

[Merlin]

Yes,
but you didn't say that in your first post.
I asked who are you to...
You answer she has come to you for...
So, yes. Since it is related, you should share the information within that context. It is a part of the 'treatment'.

[Don]

Beaches, this is a hypnotherapy/NLP board. As such--at least here in the U.S.--you would be obligated to remain within your training and experience. The implication of your post is that she has psychological issues with her husband which are manifesting physically. Respectfully, you don't know that. It could be that while away, her husband meets with people who eat something to which she is allergic and some of that rubs off on her husband. It could be that she is allergic to the dry cleaning fluids used on her husband's clothes. It could be a variety of things which, unless you are licensed in a psychological field, you are simply unqualified to work with. This is not meant as an insult, it is just stating facts. I'm not qualified, trained, or experienced to diagnose this way, either.

However, there are some simple things you can do. For example, you can lead the client to come to her own conclusions: "I note that your symptoms only manifest on weekends. What happens on the weekends that doesn't happen during the week?" Keep saying "What else?" until the weekend/husband relationship develops. In short, you would have her diagnose rather than you doing it.

Alternatively, you can regress to cause in trance and have her resolve the problem without you doing any sort of psychological intrusion. TLT can also help here.

Revealing to the client something that is psychologically impactful at a time that the client is not ready for it can be harmful in many ways. If she denies the husband/problem relationship, she will doubt you and this will harm the therapeutic process. If she accepts it and is not ready for it the result can be abreactions, psychotic breaks, or other problems. Are you ready to deal with them? Or are you just going to say, from a position of authority, that her problems are all due to her husband and then kick her out the door?

People in psychological fields spend years in training to be able to prepare the patient for the revelation and know how to deal with potential problems. Have you had the training? Do you know how to deal with a client who would just collapse on the floor?

Hypnotherapy is not psychotherapy. Hypnotherapy is designed to help people change behaviors quickly and safely. Such training show me how to help such a client without make revelations which may or may not be accurate.

But let's, for a second, assume that you say, "Hey, wake up! Every time your husband comes home you have problems. Hello???? Can you get what's taking place?"

And then she replies, "Oh, thank you! I see it all now and I know what to do." She goes home, and by Friday she has moved out and filed for divorce.

By Monday afternoon you'll have a lawsuit from the husband for destroying the marriage. Is that what you're looking for?

[beaches6]

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE.


I am a NLP practioner, Hypnotherpist and have other moldaties .
I found this site which I have found very helpful. I took every ones advice and I thank you. I Live in far north of Queensland and I don't have other people to help in my work as it is very remote in the respect of further education. I have trained over many years with a lot of travel and money, so I find any information I can get from this type of site very useful. I am still learning and we are all still learning so you have helped me and I am sure others.

If my post seems a bit immature its because I want to learn more.

[j0hnny#]

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR ADVICE.


I am a NLP practioner, Hypnotherpist and have other moldaties .

snigger, snigger.....:D