View Full Version : Getting Rid of an abusive boyfriend -URGENT
Unregistered
08-03-2004, 08:34 PM
Hi,
Some help needed.
A close friend (who doesn't know NLP in detail, but has read about it) recommended that I look up NLP techniques to get rid of my boyfriend.
My boyfriend yelled at me often, didn't respect me, put me down, and often fought with me over insignificant things.
I've finally decided to get rid of him and now he insists that i'm making a mistake and that it will work out. He does not stop calling.
I have my whole life ahead of me, i'm only 21 - and I want out.
If you could provide some ways I can use to "shake his belief" (as my friend put it) that we are meant to be together and that i'm making a mistake (because i'm NOT), I'd appreciate it greatly.
R.
I would respectfully suggest contacting the local courts and getting a "TRO" (temporary restraining order) against him. You call it "he does not stop calling." The courts call that "harassment" and "stalking."
NLP is not a magic wand where somebody can give you a word to say that will "shake his belief." NLP is a skill which takes time to learn, develop, and practice. In the short run, getting a TRO will be cheaper and faster.
There is but a small step between true devotion and a restraining order.
skip
Unregistered
08-11-2004, 03:20 PM
Slowly and calmly walk up to him then suddenly scream as loud as possible then touch his shoulder.
Whenever he comes calling just touch his shoulder.
He will soon leave u alone.
TeeJay
08-11-2004, 06:42 PM
Why on earth would you look for something to say to an abusive person? Remember, it starts with yelling, and putting down the person they are fixated on, and ends up as physical abuse, and at times even death....Do as Don suggests, and get a restraining order, and do it now, this one sounds like the perfect example of the abusing spouse to me.
xcrystax
05-12-2006, 06:33 PM
I dun't have any suggestions, but I will pray for you. God bless!
Terry (existing)
05-12-2006, 06:48 PM
Why on earth would you look for something to say to an abusive person? Remember, it starts with yelling, and putting down the person they are fixated on, and ends up as physical abuse, and at times even death....Do as Don suggests, and get a restraining order, and do it now, this one sounds like the perfect example of the abusing spouse to me. Don and Skip gave you the proper answer, but I will add one thing they didn't. AFTER you have got rid of the ABF consult a hypnotherapist for a change of personality. You obviously have one that attracts that kind of person, and should do something about it before you get involved with anyone else.
TaffyE
05-12-2006, 08:39 PM
AFTER you have got rid of the ABF consult a hypnotherapist for a change of personality. You obviously have one that attracts that kind of person, and should do something about it before you get involved with anyone else.
Wow, what a brilliant deduction from one little post.
How do you know that this is not the first such relationship, and some abusive people start off seeming very reasonable people.
B I I I G mind read imo
Poodle
05-12-2006, 10:12 PM
Terry could have a point. Many women in these situations have a big neon sign on their forehead that says 'SUCKER". At least this one wants out before the marriage and the kids. Better sure than sorry! Pood
TonightsGuest
05-12-2006, 10:37 PM
All these years and \"still\" mind-reading Terry?
Now guys I dont want to start a pissing contest here ...
But isnt it a mind read, to assume Terry's post is a mind read?
How do we know for sure that Terry doesnt have some back channel information that we dont have?
Now Ill grant you that this instance is probably a mind read.
But my experience and my intuition tell me it is also probably an accurate one.
So the question:
Is the purpose to completely avoid mindreads, or is it to recognize them when we do?
wondering,
skip
JustCurious
05-13-2006, 08:10 AM
But my experience and my intuition tell me it is also probably an accurate one.Your experience and intuition tells you that this...
\"You obviously have one that attracts that kind of person, and should do something about it before you get involved with anyone else.\"
...is probably accurate?
Terry (existing)
05-13-2006, 09:12 AM
Of course I mind read, if I didn't I would have less value here. In this case however, it is NOT a mind read I'm sorry to say, but is based on known and published facts regarding the propensity for some to be attracted to certain personality types. Do the reading before you criticise please. I know I am good, but damnit, I must give credit to other sources than my own mind for the things I say. Incidentally, I gave that information not only based on what I read, but also on certain observations of my own, and these bear out the facts as stated...
Terry (existing)
05-13-2006, 09:18 AM
No pissing contest here Skip, it is too serious for that. I have no problem having fun when no harm is likely, but in this case I was very serious and for good reason. I will therefor not allow a pissing contest, since I refuse to be involved in one, and you can't have a contest without at least two contestants can you?
While I wouldn't have put it in the same words Terry used, my advice would have been very similar.
I've known too many intelligent, strong, smart, and brave women who have become victims of abusers. Most recently, a friend who is a college graduate and a licensed pharmacist went through this. I helped her with advice after she was physically abused by her BF a year ago. Part of this included a pamphlet from the police department which described what women who return to their abusers believe and how they act. As she read this aloud over the phone to me, she said she couldn't believe that so many other women fell into this trap just as she had. She saw herself in all of those symptoms and behaviors.
And then she went back to him for another year of abuse before finally kicking him out. A year!
Whatever the reason the original poster dealt with the abuse, by allowing it to continue for a period she has set up a behavior pattern that might allow her to either continue being abused or to find another boyfriend who will abuse her. This is not a mind-read, it is a statistical fact. It's what happens.
Now, it may not be so in this woman's case, but from what she revealed in her first post, it is not an unlikely scenario. Therefore, I would strongly suggest that she get into an abused women's support group as well as get a TRO to stop harassment from her abuser.
Yes Terry, my mindread, experience and intuition, agree that your experience and intuition, mindread about this are probably accurate.
skip
Jimr1
05-13-2006, 11:11 AM
R
its really very easy(using the "power" of anchoring from NLP)
very "casually" in conversation with this guy, ask him when was the last time he was ever around someone who was feeling nauseated, perhaps even vomitting. as he remembers that(he should remember being "grossed out"), (touch your right ear with a finger,or (gently) bite your lip. these gestures will(visually) anchor those feelings(of being "grossed out") to you
you should have no trouble "losing" him at that point:)
Shame - Shame
05-13-2006, 12:35 PM
Ladies and Gentlemen, the initial poster in this thread provided very limited information on her situation. I do not question the information posted by other members about abusive situations. Unfortunately, those are a reality for all too many.
With that said, I do question the ethics of those members who have decided, based on such limited information, to put forth and support such statements to the initial poster as... You obviously have one [personality] that attracts that kind of person.
IMO, this kind of a statement based on such little information is unprofessional and irresponsible.
Shame - Shame