Secret of Humor?

[Harvester]

Hello everybody!
I'm still a very young beginner in the world of communications and NLP...
and unluckily my resources, my whole story life, (which was a rather
socially outcast one) never permits me to say a joke or something
I think may be funny without having all the listeners look at eachother
creating an embarassing atmosphere, or a dry "hah, hah, hah" -_-
I want to make people laugh, but I don't manage it... I never manage
to come up with jokes which can entertain my audience.
What is the reason to this? Am I "stupid"?
Does NLP, etc. help?
When I get in "harmony" (rapport) with the people I communicate with
I "understand" what makes them laugh when others say a joke, but I myself am never able to spontaneously create one...

[Merlin]

Hi Harvester, I understand. NLP or hypnosis might help, but may not.
HGumour is something special. It is very dependant on life's experiences. Your experlences are likely different than theirs.

NLP or hypnosis is able to help you be more fluent in speaking. It can certanly help with rapport skills.
It can help you in delivering a joke's punch line.
But it probably won't help much in 'what is humourous' to another person.

[Hyena]

A lot of humour involves 'sleight of mouth'. - Might be worth you checking it out.

[Terry]

There are many ways to display humour, and only one of them involves cracking jokes, which requires a good memory, and excellent timing........
Reading the first post in this thread, I was not sure what sort of humour was being reffered to.
Replying to a remark by a friend, in such a manner as to elicit a smile or a laugh is also humour though not the joking kind. This require knowledge of the personality of the friend, and a feeling of closeness that will allow you to make such a remark in the sure and certain knowledge that it will not be misconstrued. Quick thinking is a requirement for this... Making oneself the butt of a humorous remark is of course much easier, since you know yourself, and will not be offended by any remark you make about self......
Forced humour is NEVER smart, so don't try it. Be yourself and never feel that you MUST be humorous in order to fit in. Friends never feel the need to be surrounded by comedians, just friends who know how to enjoy that which is funny.....Relax and accept, that if this is your only problem, you are extremely lucky...Terry

[Harvester]

The problem is,... that's one of my many problems... and actually humor is something that is required and is sort of... the final target of my life. To make others happy spontaneously... to make them laugh at any time... and not what I'm undergoing now... which is being taken for a fool for the "babyish jokes" I do -_-

[Simple Guy]

Harvester,

The ability to "make others happy spontaneously" isn't contingent on
humor. I know people whose very presence engenders happiness
in others. Some of these people aren't all that funny, though.

Self-acceptance is one of the qualities these people have. It
allows them to radiate a peaceful quality that others feel. As
a result, they tend to not take themselves too seriously, have
an easier going disposition and if they've got an inclination to
humor, jokes, etc. flow naturally for them. No inclination, no
problem as there are plenty of other positive expressions of
behavior that do make others happy.

Some people have found comedy workshops (improvisation,
writing, etc.) helpful. In any case, it does appear that you
are taking the desire to be funny, too seriously. :)

By the way, as a general rule, watch out for any self-deprecating
jokes. The subconscious has no sense of humor and tends to
internalize, in a negative regard, such "humor."

[Brian Carr]

Hi, Harvester!

I'm not exactly Sir Laughsalot, but I often seem to elicit good responses from people. (Yes, I once had my ninth grade English class almost literally rolling in the aisles--that was the best! :D)

Although I've found timing and subject to be important, they aren't always critical. Yet it is essential you guide people's perceptions, both toward yourself and their environment. Try to think about the world a bit differently; are there associations you can make between two ordinarily unrelated concepts?

As an example, the other day someone was asking me about my physical disability. We soon arrived at the topic of physical fitness.

"Do you exercise often?" he asked.
I replied, "Well, sometimes my nose runs."

It's also extremely important to project yourself effectively. Light up the room with your personality, take an interest in everyone, smile, be happy--you'll often find people laughing with you, almost involuntarily.

Many happy guffaws,
Brian :D

[TaffyE]

I think that one of the main elements of humour is the surprise of the "silliness" of the punch line - as per Brian's example

"Do you exercise often?" he asked.
I replied, "Well, sometimes my nose runs."

[Charlie]

Physical fitness is important.

Before I get up to have my first beer of the morning I usually tremble and shake for several hours. ( - it's the only exercise I know. )

http://forum.hypnosis.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[skip]

My alcoholic friend refused to stop drinking, because he just didnt want the way he felt in the morning, to be the best he was going to feel all day.

And self depriciating humor can be ok. "My golf game is a lot like masterbation. Pretty horrible to watch, but I get a lot of pleasure out of it."

[Charlie]

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love.