Please help!! How to get rid of anchor?!!!!

[exhausted]

Very stupid I know but can't get rid of it. Once my former friend told me that people that don't look in the eyes are weak, ok. So everytime we talked, it was a staring contest. I just started to "stare" at him and tried hard to keep eye contact. Over time, I couldn't concentrate on listening to him, all I did just stare. My eyes started to feel a lot of pressure because of this and were wide open. Now, every time I talk to somebody, it's just automatic. I automatically seek for eyes, I just can't help it. I can't concentrate on what a person talks about because I am concentrated on eyes. Worst of all, I feel like my head is going to blow up while talking for some time because of the pressure I feel on the eyes. It's just automatic, it's an anchor, I know but how do I get rid of it, so I can get back to normal, just calmly look at somebody, listen to him and don't feel any pressure. It's just ruining my life, I feel like I am going to go crazy. PLEASE HELP!!!

[Henrik]

Me, I just concentrate on the pink elephant behind their head. There, far in the distance. I believe it is playing football. Or burping? Or both?

exhausted, if you read through this forum, which you might already have, you will see that those who really know their stuff in here rarely/never give direct advice on how to solve a problem. And they also explain why they don't. And then they go on to offer a solution.

So forget about the pink elephant. It was probably green or maybe blue anyway.

Regards,
Henrik

[Jack]

I have to tell you that it is weak and foolish to stare into someone's eyes for long periods of time like the village idiot, unless you are drowning in the eyes of your beloved. Not only is it weak and foolish but it is disrepectful. If you stared unblinking into my eyes for too long I would have to give you a cuff around the ears to eliminate such rude behaviour. Measured violence is always a good way to remove an anchor pretty rapidly.

Of course you do acquire another one...

Jack

[Don]

Simple. Go to a hypnotherapist or NLP practitioner and have them help you replace it with a different behavior that you'd prefer.

[tdiamond]

or learn to enjoy it.. :) use visine to keep the red out.

so... how is it that you don't make the contection about presence and eye gazing.. eye gazing can be the most present you will ever be with another being.. why are you distracted about looking at someone?

[Terry (existing)]

And what have you DONE so far to eradicate this problem?

[Soren K (existing)]

I feel like I am going to go crazy. PLEASE HELP!!!

Yeh, my sister she's got this classic car - an MG BGT - it's great! She doesn't have to pay road tax it's so old... but it's in good nick (my cousin had it for a while and he's an engineer) plus its all kitted out in cream leather interior and navy blue carpet (the car itself is a certain shade of blue - not navy). I love it... In fact, even though I just applied for my drivers license today (well almost - yeah, yeah - I'm not qualified yet... tsk, tsk, at my age..) she's coming to visit me tomorrow and taking me out for some driving lessons - hang on to your hat! What's equally fantastic is that I got my Ipod back today - battery on the F er broke down - fortunately it was still under warranty - which means now I got it back I can plug it into her new stereo in the BGT. Excellent! - old ladies, please be ware of the blue MGBGT with the L plates and rage against the machine boming out the closed chacey (dududududud dun dun)... well it beats the sh** out of the last little shy T stereo she had in there... talk about bad anchors! So tinny it made your ears, cheek bones and eyes wince like you just saw someone get there finger slammed in a door... intense. But well, some things you just can't stand I guess.. Fortunately, my sister got her sh** together and replaced that piece of crap with a sony and got this dude down the road (who fancies her btw) to wire it up.. He's well clued up at this sort of thing and had it sorted in a jiffy. Good point that, last time I tried to fix the electronics in my old CD player (home) I had to send the thing in for serious repair - I should really have read the manual, dang.. or save myself the hassle and took it to someone who knows what they are doing.. <will I ever learn ?> o h well. Yep, and not only is it the finishing touch to a nice piece of engineering (honestly its like flying a spitfire except you're behind the wheel and don't actually leave the ground) it's also hooked up to some well decent speakers.... bo (ho ho) .. selector ... so now just sit back and boom boom, sweet, music to my ears - hell yes! Music is a wonderful thing... Worthy of the best means to appreciate it, that is for sure. (As a side note: I got these new headphones the other week, they plug right into your ears and block out any exterior noise, all you get is deep base sound and quality hi fi right in the centre of your head.... Guys, if your reading, RB's Neurosonics never sounded so in-your -head with these bad boys... sony's again - roughly £30 but worth every penny).So i'm looking forward there to my drive time - heh! I've never even driven on the roads before, ain't got my license through and who knows - I'm not even sure I'm on the insurance... quite an adventure! HA! HA! Of course I will endeavour to do what is necessary to ensure the safety and protection of the public at large <dedededede de deh...>

x


(:eek:)
.||. <---- my sister when I get behind the wheel, heh heh.... I never did believe in all that crap about when the wind blows, but well....

[tdiamond]

i see the connetion there.... good luck with that:D

[Merlin]

Me, I just concentrate on the pink elephant behind their head. There, far in the distance. I believe it is playing football. Or burping? Or both?

I concur.
Use a method of distraction or a pattern interrupt.
Iterrupting the behavioural pattern works good.
The interruption will become a part of the pattern after a while.
(how long of a while varies person to person.

[pbpv]

You can collapse this anchor kinesthetically.
1) Set an anchor on a memory where you had soft focus vision.
2) Set another anchor with you staring at people and collapse the vision.
3) Fire both at the same time.

If you want to visually collapse that anchor

Talk to a women with big rack and it would give you something else to stare at. If you are uncomfortable with that, go to a strip club and get a lap dance. See if you remember to stare at her eyes or are you looking at something else:)

[tdiamond]

very funny... really.. no wonder no one ever knew what color my eyes were ;)

[Merlin]

Everyone remembers my eyes :)
They match my haircolour

http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c344/Myhrrhleine2/Eyes-3.jpg

[Nigel H]

You may prefer to look at the gap between the eyes / bridge of the nose - they will not know you are not looking directly in their eyes ....... and you will feel less consious of that old problem of direct eye contact ....

Nig