NLP, Does it really work?

[astral1228]

Hey everybody, has anybody had an experience where they have matched and mirrored somebody so well? I am not sure if it works because I haven't really tried it out for myself(pacing and leading) Please somebody tell me it works because I still want to study NLP but I don't want to study something that doesn't exist.

Have you ever matched and mirrored somebody and they have unconconciously followed you,like scratch their nose, or adjusted their seating because you did? I just want to know that this stuff really works before I spend anymore time studying it.

Oh, and is it possible to get someone to like you if they don't through the process of pacing and leading? Has anybody ever had an experience where they follow everything about you exactly and you KNOW that it works? Another question, do you have to be directly in front of the person and talking to them to match and mirror them? Or can they somewhere else in the room and you will be able to match their physiology and still get them to match your lead?

Thanks for all your help...:)

[Poodle]

YUP and a whole lot more.

[Poodle]

You've asked the same questions three times now. Do you think the answer is going to change? What is true is true.

[chaval]

maybe your being lead ?...u have answered 3 times as well

[Soren K (existing)]

Don't spam astral, this place has suffered enough from spamming. Once is enough, you will get an intelligent answer if you're question is reasonable and courteous.

Do you work? yes? The group of mental arts known as NLP is all about how you work. Ready to figure out how you work? Ready, then to, make changes.... ? I suspect.

:cool:

[skip]

Ill give you a couple of examples, becaue everyone likes "war stories".

I can be sitting mirroring a client and literally "read their mind". I get this 'intuition' about what they were thinking.

I am correct so often, that it is a bit frightening at times.

Now this isnt some gift, it is a result of my NLP training. Learning to both pace and to 'listen' to the other than verbal communication I am recieving, and to trust it.

Many people interpret it as psychic ability, because that fits their belief system. It isnt, it is just a skill anyone can learn.

When you pace someone really well, it is often difficult to tell who is pacing and who is leading. The acid test of good pacing is, "Can you lead?"

One of the 'tests' we would do in my NLP training was to determine the emotional state of a person in another room. We would have a person in the other room go thru a series of emothinal states and calibrate to them, then they would pick a state, and we would 'guess' whic of the five states they picked to go into. We used an intermediary to communicate thru.

Now at first I was horrible at this. Because I would let my anxiety to 'win' cloud my ability to calibrate.

Later I became so good at this, that instead of simply 'reading' the other person's emotional state, I would "cheat" by leading them to choose the state I wanted them to choose.

Remember good pacing, means you can lead. :)

skip

[Jimr1]

You've asked the same questions three times now. Do you think the answer is going to change? What is true is true.

Poodle

this comment would be called MISMATCHIG vs PACING or MIRRORING. hopefully you know the difference. but then you are probably polarity responding weren't you.

Jim

[Jimr1]

Hey everybody, has anybody had an experience where they have matched and mirrored somebody so well? I am not sure if it works because I haven't really tried it out for myself(pacing and leading) Please somebody tell me it works because I still want to study NLP but I don't want to study something that doesn't exist.

Have you ever matched and mirrored somebody and they have unconconciously followed you,like scratch their nose, or adjusted their seating because you did? I just want to know that this stuff really works before I spend anymore time studying it.

Oh, and is it possible to get someone to like you if they don't through the process of pacing and leading? Has anybody ever had an experience where they follow everything about you exactly and you KNOW that it works? Another question, do you have to be directly in front of the person and talking to them to match and mirror them? Or can they somewhere else in the room and you will be able to match their physiology and still get them to match your lead?

Thanks for all your help...:)

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh,I get it. you were REALLY too lazy to go out and test it for yourself:)

Jim

[Connie]

It works. :)

[astral1228]

People have told me that the punchline of NLP is that none of it is scientifically proven, but it is useful. Is it really true, do you know that all of this stuff works 100%. If so, can you give me a specific experience where you have used this stuff and you were sure 100%. This is the last time i am going to ask you.:D

[Connie]

My teacher "fixed" my spider phobia with just a few words using NLP which weren't even spoken to me directly, but rather through a story he was relating to the entire class. It's something that had been bothering me the majority of my life. That's proof enough for me!!! :)

He also helped me distance myself from a painful recent memory (too grotesque to go into) with a simple NLP exercise. I BELIEVE!!!

I've been practicing rapport with strangers (in waiting lines, stores, restaurants, etc.) and people are responding to it!!

[Poodle]

YUP! Great

[astral1228]

thanks i guess that means i am a believer too. ha :)

[tdiamond]

I know you are a believer now, and that you will watch the movie, The Secret. Go out of your way to find it and ... now that you have... you too will see the truth as you believe it to be right now.

Let me know how it goes...

[Soren K (existing)]

Is it really true, do you know that all of this stuff works 100%?
What 'it' provides is a skillful means, stuff that works yes (or doesn't work), not stuff that is true. The value of 'NLP' is practical not factual. True (and false) is (are) factual values. One defining methodological procedure of 'NLP' is the principle that if some approach is not producing the desired effect, try another approach. Finding the best means to the ends you pursue, not determining things thus and so. Skill, not conclusion.

[tdiamond]

I am in love with your verbage:rolleyes: Soren

[astral1228]

yea I have already seen that movie, that seems to be true about people who are always complaining and talking about how bad their life is, it just seems to get worse than the people who are always happy and always feeling grateful for the things that they already have.

[tdiamond]

Thats what you got from the movie?

Perhaps see it again, and all the subtle detail and language nuances.. If you knew NLP, you would know why it works... 100 percent of the time that someone believes it, and then knows it, and it is so...

Take a training or have a session.. then you will know for yourself, for sure, after all, even if we all believe that it really works, does it? Or do we just believe it does?;)

[Poodle]

These people were on Larry King this evening (CNN), in fact, second run is right now. The next half will air maybe next Thursday. It's also on CNN International for anyone that wishes to view too. I posted it earlier. Pood

[Needadvice]

I am not sure if it works because I haven't really tried it out for myself(pacing and leading) Please somebody tell me it works because I still want to study NLP but I don't want to study something that doesn't exist.

Thanks for all your help...:)

Maybe you also want to know if SANTA CLAUSE is for REAL?

[Merlin]

Many people interpret it as psychic ability, because that fits their belief system. It isnt, it is just a skill anyone can learn.
And this is your belief.
But what is psychic?
Why is this incident not 'psychic'?

[astral1228]

wow thanks for that needadvice. But I not really seeking advice from somebody who needs it.:confused:

[Needadvice]

wow thanks for that needadvice. But I not really seeking advice from somebody who needs it.:confused:

Then just ignore it, is it that hard? :)

[tdiamond]

Ignore what?

and santa claus is real buddy :D

[Needadvice]

Ignore what?

and santa claus is real buddy :D

you can tell he doesn't want to believe in it, let him suffer next Xmass when others are having fun.

[Needadvice]

appologize if picked wrong words from NLPers' points of view. no, real suffering is meant.

[tdiamond]

how can you tell he doesnt want to believe in it? It, being nlp..

Maybe he believes in nlp just not whether it will work for him or not, and if he doesnt believe it will, he's right, it won't.... or will it?

[Needadvice]

how can you tell he doesnt want to believe in it? It, being nlp..

Maybe he believes in nlp just not whether it will work for him or not, and if he doesnt believe it will, he's right, it won't.... or will it?

you are already 16 yo, make up your mind, maaan. Yet you must be patient, and we know you are. We believe in you, maan. But remember, NLP is very... very manipulative, and you know what happened to those people who use it for bad, don't you?

[tdiamond]

what does happen to those people who use it for "bad" and what is "bad'?

[Needadvice]

what does happen to those people who use it for "bad" and what is "bad'?

I had to open the Webster's third specially for you :). I will not write them all but here are a few definitions of the word "bad":
5a: inimical to welfare: injurious, deleterious, harmful
7a: in pain or discomfort: ill, sick bla bla (examples of phrases)
8a: sorrowful, regretful, remorseful
synonims: ill, evil, wicked.
etc etc.

and what happens to those who does it for bad is... they turn into Santa Clauses and nobody wants to believe in them. hmmm... no crying emoticon on forum?

[tdiamond]

Hmmm, I did not ask what the defintion of bad is, but thanks a bunch for your effort.

I believe I asked for your interpretation of what is bad? You seem to have some hostility that is even apparent through this medium..

Now let's see what was it you needed advice about?

[Needadvice]

Hmmm, I did not ask what the defintion of bad is, but thanks a bunch for your effort.

I believe I asked for your interpretation of what is bad? You seem to have some hostility that is even apparent through this medium..

Now let's see what was it you needed advice about?

"and what is "bad'?" was EXACTLY what you asked. First of all, I see no signs of the posessive mode in your question. Second, if you look better at my previous post, you may notice that I mentioned only a few definitions of the word with many many, much more than that definitions in the dictionary. You have 3 tries to guess WHY I picked only those. I have no hostility towards you at all, you mistake. But in case you wonder, I leave WHEN and IF I choose to, not when you want (in a cute and funny way) me to, unless the moderators decide I break the rules of the open forum that has no word about professional ONLY discussions and help. Or did I mistake that was what I felt throught YOUR mediums, tdiamond? :)
Anyway, I am leaving... for the weekend only!!! :) Don't relax to much, peops, in here without me, I will come and check if everyone has behaved. :)) I almost feel like we are one big family already, now even had a chance to bond with tdiamond too. Somebody told me that Hypnotists are people hypersensitive and sometimes can even be paranoid, is it true or not? (seriously, just curious).

[tyku]

Instead of asking "Is it really true, do you know that all of this stuff works 100%?" what you can find yourself doing is going out to your sensory experience to experiment. Anything else can be dismissed as mental masturbation.