Using self-hypnosis to improve rapport abilities?

[master_debator]

I was wondering, is it possible to use self hypnosis to improve rapport creating abilities. I'm currently working on a script to do just this, but I'm worried about one thing in particular. I'm worried about mimicking someone. I'm not sure how to word a suggestion to keep me from mimicking someone...any suggestions?

[skip]

"Use analog marking."

[Curious Cat]

I was wondering, is it possible to use self hypnosis to improve rapport creating abilities. I'm currently working on a script to do just this....

Sounds interesting.

Hopefully you may want to post it to the board.

...but I'm worried about one thing in particular. I'm worried about mimicking someone.....

I guess your wish to avoid mimicry is a desire to have the rapport seem as natural as possible, so perhaps you could include suggestions for this. Notice that "avoid mimicry" is a 'move away from' kind of thing, and "rapport seem as natural as possible" is a 'move towards' kind of thing. Therefore perhaps the moving towards what you want is more appropriate for the construction of your suggestions.

Just my (amateur) .02 cents

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[master_debatoor]

"Use analog marking."

What is analog marking?

[skip]

It is one way of helping establish rapport with very little chance of detection.

A quick Google search revealed three hits on 'page one' discussing analog marking for me.

What did your search turn up?

skip

[Poodle]

First find out exactly what rapport is? Not hard. I posted it. Analog Marking is on the net if you wish to view it. It was maybe the 3rd on a page to come up. Again - not difficult but you have to know what you are doing. I would not use Analog Marking unless working with a group instead of an individual.

[nUnregistered]

It is one way of helping establish rapport with very little chance of detection.

A quick Google search revealed three hits on 'page one' discussing analog marking for me.

What did your search turn up?

skip

Skip,

HHHmmmm.I assume you mean it will help INDIRECTLY. becuase I don't see how marking out certain words( tonally or nonverbally) would be considered for example: pacing/leading, matching/mirroring, crossover mirroring,etc

I trust you will...... "enlighten" me.

Jim

[skip]

If you want to confine your definition such, I would agree.

BUT analog marking INCLUDES moving your foot in time with their breath, etc, or cross mirroring if you will.

In that sense, it is ALMOST undetectable, and allows for mirroring with very little risk of spoiling rapport by being accused of mimicry.

cheers,

skip

[Persuasion Skills]

I find the best way is as skip says use analogue marking and increasing your sensory acuity so you notice the person infront of you.

Most important, you should be concentrationg on the person and what they are saying verbally and nonverbally, rather than being in your owh head!

Here is an article that I wrote whic may help
NLP Vs Persuasion Skills - Creating Rapport & Communication Excellence


I’m sure you can recall a time when you were in rapt conversation with someone...

You listen intently to all they have to say and find yourself agreeing with them and even finding that you want the same things and have similar views.

Time disappears as you concentrate on what each other has to say.

Perhaps you find yourself leaning closer in, or even smiling as you realise that you have a similar sense of humour.

The conversation flows smoothly and easily. You both feel comfortable and enjoy each other’s company…

Or perhaps you can remember a time when you’ve seen two people in a Restaurant?

Communication flows easily, they’re smiling, nodding in agreement, perhaps you’ve even noticed that they are moving in similar ways matching each other's posture and gestures.

This is a naturally occurring process, happening all around you all the time and is known as rapport.

How much more persuasive would you be if can create deep levels of rapport in almost any situation?

Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) has spent considerable time looking at this phenomenon and tried to model a process which can help people create rapport quickly and easily.

Rapport occurs when you like someone else and someone else likes you!

Rapport is a critical ingredient in the process of persuasion!

The Persuasion Skills Model

Once you know the tools to gain rapport you will be able to:

1. Establish a connection with someone else quickly and easily.

2. You will feel comfortable talking to them.

3. They feel comfortable talking to you.

4. You start to build trust.

5. You can sense the states that they are in through a subliminal connection.

6. You can covertly verify that you have rapport

7. You can influence their states nonverbally by shifting your state.

8. You can begin the process of persuasion

9. Because you are in tune with this person you retain flexibility of response throughout the conversation.

The NLP Model of Rapport

In Nuero Linguistic Programming (NLP) the most well known techniques for consciously gaining Rapport are to consciously Mirror and Match someone’s posture.

This technique though useful is rather old hat.

To be successful you must not be obvious.

I’m sure you’ve seen someone attempt this technique and it’s a little like “monkey see, monkey do”

The key to the success of this technique is to be elegant

Open your Eyes

The average human eye can distinguish about 500 differentshades of grey.

Human peripheral vision is approximately 200 degrees and even greater when you include the slight micro movements of the head!What does this mean?
It means you can perceive a lot more about people than you thought!

Improving your Peripheral Perception.

In Huna (Hawaiian Religion) they call this Hakalau. It is also used in Silva Mind Method, Meditation, Hypnosis and NLP.

Stare at a spot on the wall and expand your vision outwards and the upwards how much of the room can you see?

People are giving you information every second you are with them, even from a distance.

I can teach you how to get an idea of how someone’s
• Sitting
• Standing
• The position of their hands
• Their breathing rate
More importantly you can get an idea from their physiology what actual emotional state they are in!

Without even looking at them directly!

Matching Breathing

Try this:

Pick someone on the train or bus and using your peripheral vision start to notice the rhythm of their breathing, begin to notice the natural rise and fall of their clothes or their shoulders and allow yourself to fall into the same breathing pattern.

The Persuasion Skills Power Tip 1

If you’re finding it difficult to match the subjects breathing because it’s much slower/ faster than yours, start by matching their every second or third breath by inhaling slightly more on that particular beat.

The Persuasion Skills Power Tip 2

If someone approaches me and I haven’t had a chance to match their breathing I’ll take in a slightly deeper breath just as I say hello. I have found that this tends to lead the person into my breathing pattern!

[Jimr1]

If you want to confine your definition such, I would agree.

BUT analog marking INCLUDES moving your foot in time with their breath, etc, or cross mirroring if you will.

In that sense, it is ALMOST undetectable, and allows for mirroring with very little risk of spoiling rapport by being accused of mimicry.

cheers,

skip
Skip

yes I don't consider analog marking synonymous with cross over mirroring. but cross over mirroring in the example you give is indeed practically undetectable. in fact cross over mirroring(as opposed to regularly mirroring)is what I primarily do.



(analog marking to me is when you mark a distinct message with a larger message tonally, nonverbally or both). and its something I'd like to get better at but struggle with

Jim

[Nigel H]

Hi - sorry if I have missed the point on this one all - and I was wondering why you would want (or need) to use self hypnosis to improve rapport building skills. It is something you learn on an NLP practitioner course and there are many NLP based (and likely from other disciplines also) books etc which will give much information on how to do this. I am somewhat unsure as to where the need for self hypnosis would come in to learning the skill(s)?

With practice, it is something you can happily do consciously to install the techniques within yourself ...... you will also realise that it is something that we all do regularly anyway, with all sorts of people and all NLP has done is to model the steps that are created when we have natural rapport with someone, to allow us to create it deliberately - removing the guesswork! So you already know how to do it at the unconscious level.

Cheers

Nig