Wanting to forget

[liamg]

Hi,
I am a straight male and was recently involved in a gay sexual encounter which i really want to forget and block out of my mind completely as it disgusts me. This was after lots of alcohol and drugs. Would hypnotheropy help me forget this experience?

[Don]

It could. And then, because you won't remember anything about what you did, you'll be open to doing it again. That's why no legitimate hypnotherapist would help you do it.

On the other hand, a hypnotherapist would be able to help remove the anger, rage, disgust, self-hate, etc. associated with the experience while letting you remember that you don't want to do it again.

You might also see if you could get help for your alcohol and drug abuse behavior.

[Jimr1]

Hi,
I am a straight male and was recently involved in a gay sexual encounter which i really want to forget and block out of my mind completely as it disgusts me. This was after lots of alcohol and drugs. Would hypnotheropy help me forget this experience?
your posting implies you might be mentally "reliving" the event. there are some really very simple processes you can do, in fact the same process everyone does "unconsciously" when they just move on. if you want to stop mentally "reliving" the event on purpose and "put it behind you", I can instruct you how(and no I won't "fee" you for it). the instructions can be a bit lengthy or I would have just posted them here. email me

Jim

jimr_77024@yahoo.commoc

[pmdigi]

sure could use directions to stop "reliving event" - mind if i email too?

[Really]

What if s/he wants to take his chances?

Chances of it happening again are pretty low if he also gets alcohol and drug help and he wasn't acting out a subconscious desire, no? Not sure how old he is, but if he got through life this far without it happening, chances are low (though existant) of it happening again.

[Simon]

Don't drink and eat drugs anymore :)

You must know that with time you will find by yourself that it doesn't matter since you are straight. If you don't have any desire do do it again take it as a learning lession of "things that you don't want to repeat" :)

GL

[Poodle]

Please read what Don wrote. He was saying that if the event were made to have "not" happened, there are chances that it could happen again in the future. Also saying this, the client would have to be regressed in hypnosis back to that time and have to relive the da## event OVER AGAIN. Was ONCE NOT ENOUGH? Do you really want to do it over and over and over. I don't think so.

Find a NLP Practitioner and get the feelings (all those nasty negative emotions) taken away from this event so it will just be another day in the life of _____. If you have no feelings bothering you about it, it can't bother you can it? And, the big PLUS is you will NOT HAVE TO RELIVE IT. ONCE WAS MORE THAN ENOUGH.

[Jimr1]

It could. And then, because you won't remember anything about what you did, you'll be open to doing it again. That's why no legitimate hypnotherapist would help you do it.

On the other hand, a hypnotherapist would be able to help remove the anger, rage, disgust, self-hate, etc. associated with the experience while letting you remember that you don't want to do it again.

You might also see if you could get help for your alcohol and drug abuse behavior.
Don

Lots of people want to "forget" stuff but that doesn't mean they really want amnesia about it. I probably don't have to tell you lots of people encounter unpleasant events after which they continue to "relive" it in their mind. they do it enough and their "brain starts running them" instead of the other way around. (that's very common with rape victims). its really about learning from the event and then putting the memory of it IN THEIR past rather than constantly "reliving it" in their mind. hence the NLP theme: "running your brain" instead of your brain running you.

Jim

[Terry (existing)]

Can you be helped to forget is what you asked, and the reply to that is YES. What you didn;t ask however is more important, and exposes you as a fool. Hypnosis is all about change, change for the better, and you didn't ask for help to change, only to forget. Better give some thought to were you are going first I suggest. But then, that is only a suggestion, it is after all your life we are talking about, and I am sure there is a therapist willing to take your money and give you what you want without question, just so long as you can pay. Me, I wouldn't touch you I confess, but then, I don't need the money, I like success, and I like it to be permanent, which is something you will not get based on what you ask for.

[Curious George]

Exposes him as a fool? Please elaborate on your statement Terry.

[AnthonyM83]

How harsh. Why would someone who doesn't know much about hypnosis, psychology, or personal change be a fool just because he doesn't know enough about a topic? We're all representing a profession here.

[Curious George]

How harsh. Why would someone who doesnt know much about hypnosis, psychology, or personal change be a fool just because he doesnt know enough about a topic?That is a question I am interested in hearing the answer to also.

Were all representing a profession here.That is a good point to bring up and a point that some members/moderators might need to be reminded of. ;)

[Don]

Hi, Jim.

I believe that's what I said, just in different terms.

[Curious George]

I just finished reading a few of the other posts on this forum and wanted to ask the forum moderators, team members and any other forum staff a question. The question is...

Will the mocking, name calling and other unprofessional conduct by forum staff and senior members end or is this customary and standard for this forum?

This conduct is acceptable to Matt James and Alex Docker? Is that why it continues?

[Terry (existing)]

How harsh. Why would someone who doesn't know much about hypnosis, psychology, or personal change be a fool just because he doesn't know enough about a topic? We're all representing a profession here. Harsh eh? Never tell me you represent our profession, you don;t, your replies never challenge the poster as mine do. Why dare I call this man a fool? Who but a fool would use drugs and alcohol to excess in such a manner as to get himself in such a position. I say it like it is, because I believe anyone is entitled to the truth until such times as they reject it, then they get ignored. Now, you do your thing and I will do mine, and don;t assume to question my method until such time as I step over the line of good taste, or forget that a poster is expecting help not pap.... My method is not yours, and neither is it anyone elses, since each reads posts, and deals with them according to what they see, but only serving the pap is NOT representing our profession, it is just avoiding confrontation. I am just as honest with those I meet face to face, and since my success rate has always been high, it seems reasonable for anyone to assume I am doing it right. Not that all clients need such treatment, but being unwilling to dish it out when nescessary is a lack on the part of the therapist. Is it harsh to look you in the eye and tell you I consider you to be a fool because xxx? At least you know how I see you and have the opportunity to rebut what I say, or explain it. Hell, perhaps our poster is an alcoholic so there is a reason for him being were he is. Does that mean we should ignore the alcoholism and deal only with the symptoms? The saying your mother taught you, "if you can't say something nice, say nothing at all", does NOT apply the the skilled therapist who sees a problem and say so. Such failure is dishonest in my opinion. There, I just called you dishonest didn't I? Now you can really get mad, (EG). I told the poster what he needed to know, now you can stroke his hand if he feels insulted

[Observation Deck]

Terry, methinks thou protesteth too much. :p

[Curious George]

Terry, every time you insult someone on this forum your skill, or more accurately lack of skill, is on display. Clean it up already. ;)

[AnthonyM83]

Terry,

I understand you're using a method here to help this particular poster, but I also have a concern about the image being protrayed to visitors on this site. These are also people who might be considering going to a hypnotist for help. Keeping that in mind, I think you could get the point across to the poster in a different way, perhaps even still using the same effective word "fool".

And yes, I do use different methods than you on this board...actually, I don't even do much helping on this board, but usually stick to asking people to explain ideas furthers, asking questions, or pointing out incongruencies so that I can better understand. Since, I've only been studying hypnosis for two years, I try to do more learning than helping.

BUT I still represent this profession on this board IN THE EYES OF VISITORS, as do all others who are studying and using hypnosis. If you go to a medical forum, the med students discussing a topic help visitors form a view of the profession.

[Don]

Hello, George.

One of the internet standards is that when people go to forums such as this for the first time they are expected to read basic instructions, if there are any, and then read other comments before making comments of their own. This is part of what is known as "netiquette."

And yet, people come here, directly or indirectly asking for therapy, which we cannot practically, ethically, or legally provide. This was clearly stated in the post entitled "What we can and cannot do." It is rudely ignored by many people.

People come here thinking they know everything there is to know about hypnosis and ask--practically demand--free training from people who have spent hundreds of hours and thousands, perhaps tens of thousands of dollars, to give it to them, even though we have repeatedly stated that we cannot practically or ethically give trainings in the forum. How rude of them to be so demanding.

People come here, with medical diagnoses (often incorrect self-diagnoses) and want a simple, do-it-yourself cure that they can do in the privacy of their own home. It is their fantasy that hypnotherapy works that way. It doesn't. In the U.S. we legally can't treat accurately diagnosed problems without a referral from a licensed health professional, yet people come here and rudely demand such help.

On an on it goes, with people rudely demanding what we cannot practically, ethically, and in many cases legally provide in these forums. These rude people, if they had simply followed the basic rules of netiquette, would have discovered this easily. Instead, these self-centered, know-it-all, rude people come here and get upset if they aren't treated like princesses with everyone kowtowing to their every whim.

George, there are people here who are curmudgeonly. There are people who are having a bad day. There are people here. They are humans. That is why replies to such rudeness, such self-centered egotism, such lack of simple netiquette, are sometimes met with like responses.

George, have you been ANYWHERE else on the internet? Have you seen other forums? Go to Yahoo Groups or the Newsgroups on Usenet and you will find long and vicious arguments that simply don't appear here.

There is a "rule" of the internet known as "Godwin's Law." It states that "if you mention Hitler or Nazis in a post, you've automatically ended whatever discussion you were taking part in." In the years that this forum has been available, I cannot remember Godwin's Law ruining a forum discussion ("You're acting like Nazis!") even once.

The internet is a wild and wooly place. I've had people accuse me of all sorts of things here and in other forums. George, it's just words! They can't hurt me. If you take it personally, I would respectfully suggest that you stay off of any internet forums.

Well, of course, there are some where every post is examined before it is published. Only the ones that the moderators like would appear. We could do that, but then posts from the rude people who don't follow netiquette would never be published. People would not be able to respond to the questions in any way. And of course, your post to which I am responding would have never appeared.

But then, I supposed, we'd be accused of acting like Nazis. :)

[Curious George]

George, there are people here who are curmudgeonly. There are people who are having a bad day. There are people here. They are humans. That is why replies to such rudeness, such self-centered egotism, such lack of simple netiquette, are sometimes met with like responses.When forum staff respond, or allow senior members to respond, to posters lacking netiquette with name calling, mocking and such I view it as unprofessional behavior on the part of the forum staff. But then, maybe the forum staff here at hypnosis.com is held to no higher standard than anyone else who blows in off the net. :(

[skip]

You might be right George.

It might very well be a lower standard.

It apparently isnt your standard.

Or perhaps the standard is simply unclear to you.

Are you curious about what the standard might be?

Or are you just *****ing?

with all respect due,

skip

[Curious George]

I am curious about what the standard might be.

I can say that because this is Matts website, and believing him when he says he monitors discussions here, I do bring with me the underlying belief that forum staff will conduct themselves in a manner that is acceptable to Matt.

Apparently name calling, mocking, and other unprofessional conduct is acceptable. Along the same vein, was the **** in your last post foul language being censored?

[skip]

Well you apparently dont know much about delegation.

And you havent bothered going to Matt, even though you maintain that you really do want to know Matt's standard.

Seems a bit incongruent to me, unless your purpose is just to complain.

If, as you contend, name calling, and mocking, and 'other nonprofessional conduct' (per your standards) is da-rigour here, then is it possible, this place is just too unacceptable for your fine sensibilities?

skip

[nUnregistered]

Hi, Jim.

I believe that's what I said, just in different terms.


Don

Hmm....you could've fooled me

Jim

[Curious George]

I have left a message for Matt. I sincerely hope he will reply.

[skip]

I hope so too.

Its been a long time since someone threatened to 'tell my mother on me'.

Thanks for the 'memory'.

skip

[Curious George]

You earlier posted that I had not bothered going to Matt which seemed a bit incongruent to you. I go to Matt and you feel threatened. Go figure!

[Merlin]

Skip didn't say he felt threatened.

[Curious George]

Skip didnt say he felt threatened.I can rephrase my post.

Skip, you earlier posted that I had not bothered going to Matt which seemed a bit incongruent to you. I go to Matt and you state... Its been a long time since someone threatened to tell my mother on me.

Go Figure. :(

[skip]

Lets be sure we understand each other 'curoius'. Then you will know why you are so amusing.

I said I thought you were *****ing, without having bothered to ask Matt what his 'standards were.

That is what was incongruent.

You apparently agreed, now you have decided to try and be congruent.

Good for you.

Your *****ing (my contention) consisted of your contention that I, among others, was, name calling, mocking, and engaging in other unprofessional conduct.

It is within that context, that I understand your post, that you will ask Matt what his standards are, to imply some sort of threat.

Unless of course I am mistaken, and it was your intention to ask Matt about his standards, without pointing out your 'concerns' about my, and others, activities.

But that simply would be out of character for you, wouldnt it?

Merlin is right I dont feel threatened.

Took me right back to my childhood, and hearing some whiney little snot, wailing that they were going to tell my mother, for some real, or imagined slight. That's why I thanked you for it. Hadn't age regressed like that in a good while.

Refreshing.

feeling younger every day,

skip
ps You may think this is condecending. You cant be wrong 100% of the time.

[Curious George]

Skip, there is no reason to try and explain. I am quite confident that any intelligent adult reading this thread can see what has transpired.

[skip]

Yup Agreed.

[Terry (existing)]

Yes, and on reading what I wrote, I note that it does not convey what was intended. I was attempting to say that nobody "represents hypnosis" as you put it, but all of us do in our own way. There is no "therapist's aproach", certainly not one that will work for all. You do however get a passing grade for your reply, and the right to an apology from me for my slip. I usually reread before posting, but in this case I was in a hurry and pushed to button. Again, my apologies for the upset my post may have caused..

[Nigel H]

Liamg

It has been alluded to already - but I wanted to add to this.

As professionals in wanting to help people, we like to know that our help is going to work and within certain parameters it usually will. That said, if someone has an issue dealt with, but is not removing themself from the situation that created the issue/condition/symptoms then it will recur.

If it recurs then one of 2 things will happen - either they will blame the therapist (even if the therapist never hears this, since they do not take it back to them) and say that such therapy does not work ...... or they return having re-created the situation and the therapist will get frustrated in the person not listening to their advice and 'ruining their work efforts'....

When I see anyone I want to do whatever I can to have the treatment work for them, so if I know in advance that they are not willing to change their circumstance - I will know that their problem will repeat itself - so what is the point in treating them - they are wasting their money. Hence the comments on your dealing with the drug/alcohol scenario that led to your problem BEFORE the treatment being worthwhile.

Similarly those comments on forgetting and hence ending up in the same scenario, having forgotten where it could lead again.

It would serve you best to work with a professional who can lead you down the path of adressing the situation that created your problem (gay sex event following drugs/booze) and then helping you address the emotions surrounding your recollection of the memory, whilst preserving what you need to learn from the experience. This way you will (a) be less likely to get in to such a situation again and (b) feel comfortable emotionally about it having happened at all in the first place.

I hope this is of some use.

Nig