Premature Ejaculation

[galason]

Ok, i've had a problem prematurely ejaculating for 4 years now, ever since i lost my virginity. The problem seems to be that arousal builds too quickly during and even before intercourse (it's not a matter of conciously deciding to decrease stimulation cuz only minimal stimulation is needed sometimes).
Just lying with my girlfriend is enough to set the ball in motion, this gets me really quited aroused before even having sex. over the years the problem has gotten better and then worse.

I want to try to fix this problem myself as i'm a student so i don't have the money the type of money right now to pay for professional treatment (also i don't want to attract attention to myself for seeing a hypnotherapist as this is a sensitive issue). Obviously if i can't fix this myself i'll have no option but to seek professional help, and you guys may tell me that this is too much of a mammoth task to fix myself.

So, i want to use self hypnosis or any technique that will work to un-learn this behaviour. I need to be able to control my arousal and destory these anchors that are making me preamturely and overly aroused. I've experimented with self hypnosis and found that it seems to be a million times more difficult to unlearn something that to learn something.

I know there may be an infinite number of reasons why this problem may exist and since you don't know me i'm not asking why i have this problem. I am though, asking for any generic ways to remove this connection i seem to have of sex not lasting long or me getting aroused before i want to be.

I can't seem to write suggestions that will work and this lack of self control is starting to really bum me out. It may be interesting (or not) to note that when i was about 10/11 years old i had a dream in which i had sex with a woman (weird huh? :)). Well anyway, upon entry in this dream i ejaculated. The sensation felt stunningly similar to real sex which i was later to learn when i reached 16. So, is it possible that i learnt this behaviour then before i even had sex for the first time?

I'm trying to get back into lucid dreaming. Do you think this would be useful? Perhaps to have the same dream over again and correct it this time? Or just generally use it for getting greater control. I'm terrible at imagining things so i figured dreams may be a better way for me to get the imaginary experiences i want to into my head.

Well, i'll stop waffling now. I'm not asking for a diagnosis so don't kick my ass :) I'm just interested in what you guys think. Any help would be much appreciated, thanks a lot.

Galason.

[advantageanesthesia]

Take yourself to a professional hypnotherapist.
We are kind and empathetic,..........really.

Victoria Wasserman CRNA, APRN,
Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist
www.medhypnotherapy.com (http://www.medhypnotherapy.com)

[Unregistered]

Hi galason,

You might try looking up taoist sexual techniques, or tantric sexual techniques such as learning to control the muscle that allows the ejaculation. Fragmented urination helps to do this. After some practice you will be able to refrain from ejaculation and still have orgasm(s).

Check it out.

Milten

[Merlin]

>I know there may be an infinite number of reasons why this problem may exist and since you don't know me i'm not asking why i have this problem. I am though, asking for any generic ways to remove this connection i seem to have of sex not lasting long or me getting aroused before i want to be.

Have you tried an aspirin?
Self medication works great.
Self suggestion is a lot like self-medication. It's ok for a feaver, but not for an appendix problem. Not knowing the specifics, it's not easy to suggest a solution.

Your dream *likely* had no relation, but mind reading is not my forte, so it's just a good guess.
Lucid dreaming is fun, but likely not helpful.

You'll find that *most* of the regulars here would suggest you see a hypnotist. That's because we realy can't know from a distance how to help. We can only guess.

[galason]

Ok well thanks for your responses. Maybe if money starts falling from the skies i'll go to a hypnotherapist :(

and to Milten...that is some stuff that i'm looking at actually, I can do the multiple orgasm thing, only with masturbation so far though...after my first orgasm i feel relaxed and in wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy more control and still have a fully firm erection. So i was thinking of trying to anchor this state so i could induce when i want to(?)

[Cindy]

The hypnotist I saw had a fee structure that was based on what I wanted to pay. He was able to do this, because he came to my home. I imagine that he would not be able to do this at the places where he was employed, because he must share his fees with the office.


It is my experience with healers, therapists, etc, that many of them have a true desire to help people, (unlike typical western medical doctors) so they would try to help without charging their usual fee because they know you cannot afford it.

Perhaps you should just ask.

[Don]

Cindy makes a very good point. Some people have an idea that a hypnotherapist will cost you thousands and thousands of dollars just to get in the door. While there are a few that might charge that much, most are very, very reasonable (which, in my opinion, is one reason that some people in professional psychological fields don't like hypnotherapists).

If after seeing a urologist to determine if the cause is physiological (and from your description it probably is not), a hypnotherapist should be able to help you in as few as three sessions...or less. Really!

You have written that you have had this problem for four years. That's for years of feeling bad about yourself, four years of frustration and anger and self-pity. Respectfully, you seem to be willing to say "I'll keep up with the bad feelings, frustration, and self-pity for another four, eight, sixteen or more years because I don't even want to find out how much hypnotherapy costs."

But let me give you some good news. You can change. You can change quickly and easily. It doesn't need to take months or years. You can be the person you want to be with the help of a hypnotherapist. Many will have a payment over time option. Many have worked with PE clients before.

Now spend a moment being with a partner and effortlessly lasting as long as you would like. Think about how you would feel about yourself. Think about how your partner may feel about you. Just think about it.

Now realize that you are giving this all up without even bothering to check out a couple of hypnotherapists in your area!

When you go to a hypnotherapist for this, you are not paying a penny. You are making an investment in your own happiness. I think you're worth it.

However, the truth is that there are some books which give you techniques on how to overcome PE. The technique can either require a dedicated and patient partner or a period of weeks or months of practice with debatable results.

For the former, look up Masters and Johnson's "Squeeze Technique" on the web. For the latter, look up the "million dollar point" (ignore the diving references).

[Unregistered2]

good morning,
I suffer from premature ejaculation for a long time (11 years) and I want to use NLP to overcome this problem.
I am reading a book written by Dr Harry Alder, which is very self explainatory, but my problem is that I don't know how to formulate my empowering belief to over this problem!
I understand the principles behind the way of formulating an empowering belief as :
-stated positively
-depend on my point of view ( not the consideration of someone else)
-in a dynamic way

I was first thinking of "I overcome premature ejaculation", but I am not sure if it is good or not and I was thinking as well at "I am becomming a sex god" ( might seems pretentious but it is positiv, dynamic and only based on my point of view).
Is one of this two are good?
Is there someone who ca help me to formulate this?
Is there any book which are NLP book written only for PE problems?

Thanks

[ian69]

Some recent research suggests it's a physical issue, not a mental one.

[Neurotic1]

Why not consider seeing a hypnotherapist? People have made some useful suggestions in their posts. Alternatively, if you really get that aroused, try waiting a short time after your climax and starting again?

[jon74jon]

Some recent research suggests it's a physical issue, not a mental one.
hi I am jon74jon, I am the oine who posted the question about the formulation

Believe me , my type is only mental ( it is easy to to know just by the way it manifests in different situation.but yes no doubt there are some case which are only physical issue!

[jon74jon]

Alternatively, if you really get that aroused, try waiting a short time after your climax and starting again?
I think that my problem is due to a mix of too much arousal, and fear of rejection and i think a kind of "nurse syndrome" lookalike ( seeking for attention ).
so it would not be that easy! as well it is not a satisfactory technique on a everyday basis , i tried it but make "the act" too much complicated, and not "spontaneous enough" and as well the second "time before ejaculation" is not that great neither!

[QUOTE=Neurotic1]Why not consider seeing a hypnotherapist? People have made some useful suggestions in their posts. QUOTE]

I have tried a hypnotherapist, but I loose my trust on him, as he told me that he already had treated this problem but after 3 sessions it was obvious that he never did!

I am still looking for an hypnoterapist who could make an anchoring but never succeed yet ( I think that it is the right word to use, basicly what I am looking for is for someone confident who tells me "OK I will hypnotise you, tell you that you are not someone who suffer from premature ejaculation, and you will never have this problem in your life ever!", something like people who anchor to people the fact that they are non smokers!)

All the hypnotherapist that I contacted told me that we "will do an hypnotherapy" ( i am already doing a therapy, with a "normal "counsellor). It really look like nobody is able to do that anchoring!!!!!!!

If there is someone that think to be able to do that ( wether you are an hypnotherapist, or an hypnotist!) I am living in Surrey (UK) and of course will come to you if you are able to do this!

As I am not sure that it exists someone who can do that (like around London), I turned to NLP, and I am still looking for a way to formulate things!

anyway thanks a lot