Does this sound like it is working?

[Fleury]

I wrote on the old style forum about 4 weeks ago and received alot of support and help from you all. Some of you may remember my posting - I am a mother of 2 young children with an alcohol problem. I had been seeking help from 2 hypnotherapists that did not help me at all. I then found someone who seemed to have a much better approach and combined counselling, hypnotherapy and psychotherapy to tackle the issue. I have now had 6 sessions with him and I really enjoy these sessions. I am there for up to 3 hours at a time and have a 1/2 - 1 hour hypnosis session each time which is taped and then I bring the tapes home and listen to them at night. The sessions have been suggestion and then also "generic habit control" (stamp on the monster that makes you drink and encourage it to help you in another area of your life instead etc). I sometimes see flashing yellow lights for most of the session even though I have my eyes closed and am in a dark room and the therapist said that this could be the way my subconcious wants to present itself.

The drinking problem is ongoing but the situation has definitely improved as the consumption has decreased by about a third but the urge is still there and that is what I wanted to remove. The therapist says he is very happy with the progress we have made together as he says that the drinking has been going on for 15 years and is not something that can be stopped in a matter of weeks. He is very confident of eventual success.

I like the therapist, enjoy the sessions and appreciate that the situation is improving BUT I need some comments from people like you who know what you are talking about. Does this sound like it is working? The sessions are not cheap and I will not be able to continue them for ever. I had expected better and quicker results from hypnosis but maybe my expectations were unrealistic? Does it sound as if I am actually hypnotised - are the yellow flashes my subconsious?

I would appreciate any input from you all.

Fleury.

[Terry]

You are asking us to comment on a practitioner about whom we know nothing, regarding the treatment of someone of whom we know nothing of importance.
If you were to ask if I personally would be treating you in the same manner, the answer is, "it all depends on what I found out about you, and your reasons for putting on the mantle of an alcoholic".. In my case, I would have expected to succeed in the six sessions you have already had, but that would depend on you, and not on the treatment.......
Hypnosis is a partnership treatment, not a cure all pill which takes no effort to take, and no work on your part to be successful. If your treatment to date included an attempt to ascertain the cause of the condition, then I suggest that the thereapist has done all that can be expected of him, and you are lucky to have found him.....You are given the tapes to use between sessions as an indication that the practitioner knows the benifits of partnership in treatment, and he can do no more than he is doing at present.
What will you be doing to replace your drinking time, once the "cure" takes effect? Remember, nature abhors a vacuum, and it will replace it with another acitivity regardless of you if you have not made plans ahead of time.....
Your comment that "I can't keep up those treatments for ever",would suggest a failure on someones part, but remember, you are saving on buying a substance which is damaging to your health and welfare, and spending it on something of value to your future. My suggestion is, join AA as an adjuct to your present treatment, so that you have a replacement for the time you have spent to date, just drinking yourself into forgetting your problems. You might also plan to spend more time with your kids, reading to them perhaps, or just having fun together. Doing for others, especially your family, is a wonderfull replacement for spare time........I speak of course, as one who has has dealt with alcoholics in the past, and perhaps your practitioner is not so expert in this area. On the other hand, most are not, and do the best they can.....

[Fleury]

Thankyou Terry for all your advice and I am so sorry that I did not reply sooner. I really do appreciate your response.

I have had one more session with my hypnotherapist since last posting here and I have had to tell him that whilst I think the counselling and the psychotherapy are perhaps working because I am really making a hard effort to cut down I am unsure of the success of the hypnotherapy as the "urge" is still as strong. We are now going to try first a month of no hypnotherapy sessions at all (monitoring the alcohol intake - if it rises considerably then perhaps the hypnotherapy was working) and then he may try a "reframe" (I don't know what that means) or something else (he says he needs to work on a solution).

I think that you are absolutely right that I need something to fill in the time that will be freed up should I quit drinking - it is always after the children have gone to bed so there are always lots of things to do. When I do have a "Dry" day I am always amazed at how much more I get done but it doesn't stop me the next evening.

Anyway I was meaning to ask my hynotherapist a question and I forgot so maybe one of you could answer it for me.

When ever I am "hypnotised" I am fully aware of what I am doing and do not believe that I could be persuaded to do anything I did not want to do. How do these TV/Celebrity hypnotists get their patients to go immediately into such a deep trance that they even hang their heads and then do all sorts of ridiculously embarrasing or silly things? In the UK we have a man on the television at the moment called Derren Brown who appears to be very genuine but his patients are definitely not in the same trance that I am in!! Please can someone explain this to me? If I could get into such a trance perhaps I could be better helped?

Thankyou again.

Fleury

[skip]

Derren Brown is an entertainer, and do not confuse what you see him doing during his performances with real hypnotheraputic work.

I am a bit concerned that your therapast seems at a bit of a loss as to "what to do now". BUT that might be my misreading the little bit of what is going on in your life.

You have a long history of patterns and interactions that revolve around you having a "buzz" on, in order to feel "right", and clearing out all that isnt necessarily a simple "pat you on the butt, you'll be fine" process.

Work with this guy, tell him your concerns, and if you dont feel confident that you are continuing to progress, tell him and ask him for a referral and /or seek help elsewhere.

I wouldnt settle for just cutting down, a functional alcoholic, is still an alcoholic.

Somewhere, in there, in your mind, is this desire to end the drinking cycle, and your unconscious knows what it would prefer to do instead.

Perhaps you are close to Merlin, or she would know someone to refer you to. If you are near Bristol, I know someone I would recommend.

all the best,

skip

[Terry]

First of all, with regard to this person Darren Brown, he seems to be taking up far too much space on this board than his abilities deserve, so please understand that he is NOT a therapist, and you are comparing apples and oranges by using him as an example.
Secondly, at the risk of seeming cruel, and as one who has dealt with alcoholism in the past, I must tell you that you cannot depend on someone else to "DO IT FOR YOU", you must make you own effort to quit, and I did advise you to join AA did I not? This is intended to force you to face the problem and take such action as is nescessary to prove to yourself that you can beat this problem. Just depending on someone else, using hypnosis to stop you drinking is not acceptable and will Not give the results you hope for. Hypnosis will make the transition easier, but will not work if you don't. You have already had far more sessions than I would have allowed you without being sure that you were taking action to help yourself, so do it, and do it NOW. Terry

[Merlin]

>I am really making a hard effort to cut down...

I may be misunderstanding your post, but if you're making a 'hard effort' then there is a problem with the hypnosis.

The trance Darren Brown uses is likely different.
But he is an intertainer first.

[Fleury]

Thank you all for your replies. Yes Terry you did tell me to join AA and I think that is probably the way forward for me. I appreciate that you do not think that I am "doing my bit" but if joining AA and abstaining was as easy as that then I would not have felt the need to consult a hypnotherapist in the first place.

I really had understood fom all the literature and from speaking to the therapist that I would have to work hard on the habit and addiction side but that he would help by removing the "urge" but that has not happened. As you say Merlin I am inclined to think that the hypnosis is not working.I unfortunately do not live anywhere near Bristol - I live in Essex - is that near you Merlin? Would you be able to help me?

Fleury

[rwniel]

Hi Fleury,

It is a useful approach to use parallel means to achieve your goal and not only consider hypnosis on its own. I think that's one of the points Terry was making. They can compliment each other and use each positive can build on the last - thus, it's not necessary to focus just on using one 'tool'. Evaluate honestly if you 'trust' the therapist, as once that's gone it's very hard to re-establish.

Good luck

Robert

[Terry]

"If joining AA and abstaining was that easy, I wouldn't need a hypnotist" (quote)

Pray explain the difference between going to an AA meeting, and going to a hypnotist for help in quitting? AA is cheaper, AA means meeting with people who have gone through it all, and are no longer drinking. Can the hypnotist understand you as they do? Please don't keep walking down the wrong path in spite of our warnings, that is just plain stupid.......AA members are non judgemental, but encourage the drinker to quit. The hypnotist can do no better.
I am not going to repeat what I have already said, that is a waste of my time.Take the advice you have been given, or don't. In either case there will be no change in my life, and no change in yours, but I like my life, do you like yours? Terry

[Merlin]

Respectfully, Terry,

I do think a good hypnotist would make things much easier than just AA.
But the trick is finding such a hypnotist, as relaxo-therapy and direct suggestions don't help much.

[EC]

Also Respectfully, Terry,

As Merlin said >> I do think a good hypnotist would make things much easier than just AA. <<

Fleury, In answer to your question >>Is it working? <<

No

But you are gaining experience in choosing the right therapist

EC

[Terry]

Also Respectfully, Terry,

As Merlin said >> I do think a good hypnotist would make things much easier than just AA. <<

Fleury, In answer to your question >>Is it working? <<

No

But you are gaining experience in choosing the right therapist

EC
If I had suggested AA as an alternative to hypnosis, I would agree with your post. However, this is not so. I suggested she attend an AA meeting, and become a regular in order to assist in her "cure". If she has a problem going to a meeting of AA, how can she expect her practitioner to help her? Frankly, I am horrified that anyone should expect that we "do it for them, but not expect them to do anything for themselves". I speak from my own understanding of what I read from a post, and attempt to give and answer that will be helpfull. Why blame the therapist, of whom we know nothing, when we do know from reading the post, that the client is not doing all they can to assist themselves? I am a firm believer in using every tool available to me in order to assist the client and achieve success quickly. Terry

[Don]

Alright, prepare thy barbs!

I remember reading (I believe it was in My Voice Will Go With You) the claim that Erickson didn't like to treat alcoholics because AA worked better (although the book did give an example of him treating an alcoholic successfully).

I am going to start by acknowledging that A.A. has, indeed, resulted in many people abstaining from alcohol. I have several friends who had serious alcohol problems and now proudly display their tokens. There is no doubt that A.A. has helped tens of thousands of people (although I have also heard--and I do not have proof of this--that their failure rate is quite high, higher than they might like people to know).

That being said, I would like to add for those who are not aware of it, the founders of A.A. had a specific intention: helping people with an "addiction" to alcohol become "addicted" instead to a modified form of Christianity, the hope being that eventually they would fully convert. Please do not take my word for this. For an example of how Christianity forms the basis of A.A., see http://www.christianrecovery.com/tfr/dox/lfree/chap2.htm.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with that, although I do wish they would be more open about their purposes. In fact, I've seen many members who treat A.A. almost as if they were part of a cult. I have no belief that such was the intention of the founders, but to some people their attitude toward A.A. is similar to that seen in members of religious cults.

And that's still not my problem with A.A.

My difficulty comes with the first of the 12 steps themselves. Here it is taken from the A.A. website:

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable."

This is frequently worded in the first person, "I admit that I am powerless over alcohol."

I fully admit that I have not worked with alcoholics using hypnotherapy. However, my goal as a hypnotherapist is to help people realize that they DO have power to change their lives. Right off the bat, the A.A. belief is that people are powerless.

Not only that, but the belief by A.A. and instilled in followers and society is that alcoholics can never control their desire for alcohol. They will always be addicted. At best they are "recovering," but they can never recover. I would contend that this belief has now infiltrated society and is as strong a hypnotic suggestion as the message by the Surgeon General of the U.S. that it is harder to get off cigarettes than it is to get off heroin. The cigarette companies couldn't pay for advertising that good!

So here, then, is the problem: as a hypnotherapist, I say that people can be empowered to change their behaviors. A.A. says you are powerless to do this by yourself, can never really change, and are dependent on a surrogate Jesus they call a "higher power."

One person told me that alcoholics need to reach rock bottom and become powerless before they can change. But A.A., in my opinion, simply changes that powerlessness from powerlessness to alcohol to powerlessness to Jesus/"higher power."

So if you are a hypnotherapist and are trying to help a person with an alcohol problem, how do you resolve this dichotomy? You are trying to empower a person and A.A. is trying to disempower that person. Doesn't this contradiction make the hypnotherapy problematic? What do you do?

[EC]

Don,

No Barb's here, I agree *almost* 100%.

>>So here, then, is the problem: as a hypnotherapist, I say that people can be empowered to change their behaviors. A.A. says you are powerless to do this by yourself, can never really change, and are dependent on a surrogate Jesus they call a "higher power."<<

This could certainly lead to a lengthy thread. I will simply suffice to say that I believe that AA misinterpreted "giving it all to Jesus". I do believe we have *free will* and can do whatever we like, which includes taking personal responsibility for change. In my mind this in no way discounts the assistance that might come from Jesus.


Hi Terry
I sense from your postings that you are an advocate of the "old school" whereby if one wants something he/she damn well better be willing to work for it. I just want you to know that I too believe this and agree with you 100% that first Fleury and everyone else must take personal responsibility to overcome their issues and should not expect us, or Jesus or any other power to "fix" them without committment on their part.

I answered *no* that the therapy wasn't working because from Fleury's posting, it sounds as if the therapist is using a process more akin to cognitive behavior therapy than HT, which would be just fine if that was what Fleury was expecting. In my opinion she might as well go to AA and it would certainly be less expensive. If she pays for a more successful process she should be informed of the mental mind-set necessary for change and then receive qualified help. I too believe in using all the tools at our disposal, but when it comes to AA, I believe the mind-set the program promotes works against successfull therapy.

EC

[Terry]

Basically Don, you are quite correct, except, that I have found that AA can be helpfull to the hypnotist just because they use a modified form of religious teaching..... Recognising a "higher power" which is the terms used by them, can easily be construed as the "power within", as well as the power of God....
Now personally, I have no problem with using that fact, and it works very well, but then I did develop my own method for that purpose, and assume that others can do the same.....I have never supported scripts, and never taught that only one way will work, this would be foolish. What I do claim, is that hypnosis can assist the alcoholic, and AA can be the constant support for that alcoholic during the treatment, and after, when the individual is left to their own devices. Having the support of others who have suffered the same fate, is very comforting, and I contend that without AA, hypnosis may well fail, but with it, there is a strong likelyhood that the client will remain a recovering alcoholic, something we as practitioners should feel comfortable stating, since we all agree that the word "cure" is not proper for us to use (G) If one is intending to work with an alcoholic, I suggest they visit AA and attend two or three meetings in order to familiarise themselves with the system, and the terms used. I have found it to be of value to me when deciding my own aproach to a client, and this is another reason for me promoting AA, I took the trouble to do my homework, let the client do the same.
As for being from the old school EC, yes of course I am, I AM old, didn't you know?....On the other hand, what other choice is there? Don't tell me you have found some way to direct the mind of a client without their participation? Anyway, I remain firm in my desire to help those willing to help themselves, and since money has never been a factor in my work as a therapist, I see nothing to motivate me, except respect for the client. That respect is not there if they are not willing to help themselves. Terry

[Don]

Hi, Terry.

Thanks for your post.

I personally have never seen any person involved in A.A. (or any 12 step program) equate the "power within" or "higher self" with the God. I have seen them say that the higher self is a link to God, but not God. I have always seen the concept of God in 12 step programs described as something external.

[Terry]

Don, barbs are now illegal in Canada, I can't speak for the States. I took mine off today, and will be fishing this weekend..........
I agree with your statements, I disagree with your conclusions, as follows.
Being "helpless" is not negative, it is truth, the client comes to you for that reason.
"Higher Power" The mind under the control of the practitioner....
Note that every statement made by AA is open to interpretation by the practitioner, hence the need for that practitioner to have experienced a meeting, and an understanding of the rules. Terry

[Don]

Hi, Terry.

I certainly agree with you that people come looking for help--for alcoholism and other perceived problems--when they feel helpless and powerless to change.

From the A.A.'s words--unless I have misinterpreted their concepts of being powerless and turning lives over to to God--they instill the continuation of the belief of personal helplessness and powerlessness. IMO, this continues the feelings of lack of power and helplessness.

In my experience, a goal of hypnotherapy is to instill tools and information to empower rather than disempower. I agree that people should visit an A.A. meetings (I've attended several) and see the new attachments some of the people have--to cigarettes, to A.A. meetings, etc. It could be said that people in A.A. are exchanging a socially unacceptable behavior ("addiction" to alcohol) for a socially acceptable one ("addiction" to meetings).

Is it better to not use alcohol and be "addicted" to A.A. meetings? I think most people would think so. That is one reason why A.A. has some degree of success. Would it be better to empower people to be free of dependencies completely? I think so. To me, that is a goal of hypnotherapy. It seems to be the antithesis of the A.A. philosophy.

So how can suggestions in hypnotherapy that a person is empowered work with the A.A. steps that say a person is powerless? Do people using hypnotherapy to work with alcoholics who also attend A.A. meetings use suggestions that reinforce the 12 steps? If so, how do you justify suggesting to a person that he or she is powerless, can never succeed by themselves, and can never overcome their behavior toward alcohol?

This is not intended to insult anyone's beliefs nor degrade the work that the A.A. has done to save lives, including the lives of some of my friends. It just seems to me that the A.A. and hypnotherapy work with opposing paradigms. Both are valid, but they don't seem to be in parallel.

Comments?

[Lee]

I have worked with alcoholics and it has been my observation that what works for one will not work for all. I use many modalities from direct suggestions to regression. I have found for me the regression to cause therapy that is taught by Jerry Kein (Omni institute) has worked the best for my clients. Most report that it is as if the urge to “self-medicate” dissolved.

I attended a few AA meeting so I would know what my clients had been hearing and seeing prior to coming to me. I may not like the way they disempowere individuals but that is my opinion. There has been reported success with the modality. I just think it takes much too long. I believe that if someone wants to change they need to take responsibility for the actions to change. I agree with Terry six sessions should be enough, but I must again say that is my opinion. I very seldom go six sessions on any issue. I would also like to say that society has made alcoholism more difficult for people tp deal with by making it out to be more than it is. I have seen smokers have withdraw symptoms simply because they believed it was part of the process, while others that believed it was just a habit had none. It has been the same with alcoholics. The more time a client has spent on treatment of this issue the more difficulty they have. By this I mean the person that has not had years of counseling and/or AA for some time seem to easily change their habit quickly. If some one has been in counseling and/or AA they seem to already believe it is going to be very difficult and thus make it so. Do not take this last observation to say it is not difficult, I would not say that I just do not think it has to be as hard as society has decided to make it.

Hypnotherapy will not “take it away”. It will help the individuals in many ways to dissolve the old self defeating cycle of thoughts that drive the act. It can help individuals discover and change the root cause for their thought and actions, and much more.



Be Well

Lee

[Terry]

It would seem from the differences in opinions, that the individual experiences colour the perception. I have never worked with an alcoholic who was not a member of AA, and my perception is such that I recommend membership, and use their rules to assist my clients. You on the other hand Don, have a perception of differences which are to you insurmountable. Lee seems to be somewere in between. I guess we will have to accept that a little of ourselves goes into every session we give, and our own limitations or lack of same will affect our aproach, if not our success. Terry

[Don]

Hi, Terry.

I think you misunderstand me.

I'm not saying that differences are insurmountable at all. What I'm saying is that the paradigm is different. One system insists on dependency (to A.A.) while the other, hypnotherapy, usually directs clients to independence. Personally, I agree with Lee in being client directed rather than modality directedÑuse whatever works to help the client.

I know that some hypnotherapists have worked with people who are also attending A.A. I'm not saying that one works and the other doesn't. I'm not saying one is better than the other.

What I'm asking is how hypnotherapists who do work with people who are part of A.A. change their paradigm from empowerment to disempowerment. Do they not think of it in those terms?

For example, as you say, you worked with alcoholics who were part of AA. Did you give suggestions that they should accept their powerlessness and surrender to help from outside (God)?

Please understand, Terry, I'm not drilling you or trying to attack you. I just want to know.

Perhaps you have not considered this in the terms I'm presenting it at all and it just never came up.

Thanks for any insights you can share.

[Terry]

Don, I had no thought that I was being attacked, and am happy to offer such knowledge as I have to anyone who chooses to work with those in need. However, I am put in rather a spot, since I choose to treat each client as an individual, as you not doubt also do, so each session differs to some extent.
First of all, I promote that fact that as a normal person, depending on normal thought patterns, the client is "as suggested by AA" powerless to act for themselves. This allows them to attend meetings and see what is being promoted in that light.
Secondly, as a client of mine, they will learn to depend in their "inner power" whatever perception they have of that, since I choose not to prosilitize, and that they will be able to overcome their own problem, and even should they so choose, be of help to others through continued membership in AA.....
Now you will note that I have slightly changed the terms, using the words "Inner Power instead of "Higher Power," but the client can accept the slight change without being put off by it...In the event that they feel the need to question any suggestions I give them as compared to what they get from AA, I point out that words are not written in stone, and can be misunderstood at times. Also, that Bill Smith was an ordinary Alcoholic when he started AA, and thoughts he chose to use were based on his own perceptions not those of others.
That AA works so well, is a complement to Mr Smith, and to those who choose to get off their asses and do something for themselves, but nothing is so perfect that it must be swallowed word for word, and thought for thought.
Yes, I suppose my aproach is very personal to me, but it works, and I suggest if you have the opportunity, you try it for yourself, and I think you will find that people are mallible enough to cope with the differences so long as they find themselves no longer living an alcoholic lifestyle.
As a final thought, I never suggest that my client might choose to test their newfound attitude by drinking again, but I do know that in one case at least, the client is now able to take the odd drink, and not go beyond one, or even a sip of someone elses, this I believe is due to their new attitude to life, based on what we did together in therapy....Is hypnosis better than AA? Well at least it is different, but compimentary, and I am a firm believer in using every tool available rather than depending on one only. Terry

[Don]

Thank you for the information and a discussion of your approach.

The only thing where I would take issue with you is your claim that "AA works so well." A quick web search for "AA success rate" indicates that AA's own records show only a 5% success rate.

This comes from their own studies that people remain abstinent only as long as they continue with the program, and most people drop out. The AA organization blames the high drop-out rate on the fact that the original design of AA is that people have to come to the group of their own volition, and in more and more instances, people are coerced into participating. For example, if a person gets a DWI, he or she may be told as part of their sentence to attend AA meetings.

The two randomized studies in which AA treatment was assigned found AA to yield worse outcomes than other forms of treatment Ñ or no treatment at all. (See Brandsma et al., The Outpatient Treatment of Alcoholism: A Review and Comparative Study, Baltimore: University Park Press, 1980; Ditman et al., "A controlled study on the use of court probation for drunk arrests," American Journal of Psychiatry, 124:160-163, 1967.) But Walsh et al. ("A randomized trial of treatment options for alcohol-abusing workers," The New England Journal of Medicine, 325:775-782, 1991) allowed alcoholics limited choices, and those who chose AA still did worst (about as bad as those assigned to AA).

http://www.soberforever.net/drug-addiction-rehab.cfm
Old-fashioned AA was able to boast a success rate of 75%, while modern treatment and AA allege a mere 5-20% success rate. Because people are not finding solutions, and because they lose motivation with each failed attempt at sobriety, they are dying. Ideas of a day-by-day reprieve and life-long desires for drugs and alcohol are disheartening realities for most. AA and conventional treatment do not offer permanent solutions, only temporary relief from an imaginary disease. Naturally, a proposition so grim leads to inevitable relapse.

See also:
http://www.orange-papers.org/orange-big_lie.html

[Terry]

The articles you offer are indeed both facinating and dismal. From an original 75% down to as little as 5% seems to require answers. But answers I don't have. I can only speak from my own experience and the successes I have seen.
Could it be I wonder, that much like those who visit this board so often everyone now wants the instant magic pill, and are no longer willing to work for what they want? If this be true, the twenty, and twenty five year veterans of AA are a dying breed......Sad eh? people who hope to help others in the same way they were helped are being told that they are ineffective...... I have no answer for you Don, since my experience is limited to the success rate I have achieved over several years, working with a limited number of clients in one city. I leave it to others to add to what I have seen, and I hope that the articles you offer can be proved wrong, or that our success is based on the addition of hypnosis to AA. something I had not considered. What I do know, is that the twelve step program has been copied by many other groups for a variety is problems, and seems to have been successfull in those cases also. Perhaps because the people joining are desparate for something to work for them, and glad to be in the company of others who suffer the same problem they have.
I am in touch occassionally with those I have helped, and to date nobody is back to the old habits, some have become very successful in business, some are working with mentally ill persons, and others are engaged in a variety of activities, even nursing, something I would hate to see an active alcoholic doing! The only thing they still share, is the desire to be a non drinker, and to help others achieve that goal also. If the hundreds of persons attending AA meetings all over this city, are anything to judge by, I would say that AA is still a success, and even if it were proved that only a small percentage were able to lead a sober life due to this group, I would say it was a very worthy endeavour wouldn't you? Terry

[Fleury]

Gosh I had no idea that I was lighting the touch paper! Thankyou all for your posts -very interesting.

Merlin - you seem to be the only one who thinks that I was reasonable to expect more from the hypnotherapy. I will ask you one more time - can you help me?

Fleury

[Merlin]

Fleury,

I have a personal 'ethics line' which is self imposed.
I do not accept clients from this web board.
That way I am free to share without concern.

But you need help. I understand that too.
If you e-mail me (myhrrhleine@yahoo.co.uk), I will do my best to help you find the help you seek.


(myhrrhleine@yahoo.co.uk)

[Calvin Iwema]

Hi Fleury,

In response to you, I think your question poses something very important.

You are asking other people to validate what is "working" for you. How could we possibly know? What if someone says "No way, that will never work", and they are flat out wrong?

You are giving your power away. Stop it. You know yourself what is working and what isn't. Trust yourself. You are the authority. You might ask your counselor to work on this with you.

Some models of healing imply that 1. People can be broken, 2. that once broken you are always broken, 3. there is one "truth" that only they have control of, and that 4. You cannot do it, or maintain it on your own. I disagree.

Drinking may have been the best choice for you at one time. It serves a purpose, which can probably be served in a more healty way. Let me mind read....You have a feeling, and you then want to drink which lessens it. What is the belief behind the first feeling? When you stop believing that about yourself, drinking will become a choice, rather than a need.

You can do it. Keep up the good work, and stop asking other people whether or not you are ok. You already are.

[fleury]

I thought that some of you might like to know that I gave up with hypnotism after no joy at all, I even emailed Merlin and got no reply.

I am still drinking but am tryng to keep it reasonable - I don't have one until my children have gone to bed and I am currently trying to maintain 2 dry nights a week.

I was very disheartened with the whole thing when my (very expensive) hypnotherapist decided to tell me that it would not really be worth my while to return. I was never given a reason - I think he just gave up. I wish he had told me more clearly in the beginning that it might not work rather than give me false hope and let me line his pockets.

Now I am out of pocket, as I no longer work and my savings are all spent on him.

I would have been better off to do nothing and not even try to quit.

Fleury

[EC]

Sorry to hear that Fleury. Success takes a good hypnotherapist and a motivated client. Sounds like your therapist might have not been as experienced as you needed. There is always another hypnotist and you probably would enjoy your desired change........

EC