Abuse

[nicoleC99]

Hi all ! I am new to this forum. I am very much interested in hypnosis as well as in Huna. First of all I ' ve got a question ( and I am not asking this 'cause I don't feel good - on the contrary !). It seems that I 've got a better contact with myselve than I 've had for many years. Truth is that I ' ve recently started to have unclear memories about sexual abuse by my grand -father. I think that hypnosis can help me to get a clearer picture of my memories concerning this. Is there any other way to make the memories come up completely ? As I said before : I am actually not in a crisis - on the contrary : I think I feel stronger than ever before in my life.
Thank you very much for answering.

[Don]

Hi, Nicole.

It sounds like you have a very positive attitude, and I can see why you would like to have full knowledge of your past--sort of "completing" things.

Yes, hypnosis can absolutely help you. I would recommend seeing a certified hypnotherapist who has explicit training and experience in this area. It's sometimes called "forensic hypnosis."

The mind is a very complex thing, but learning how to hypnotise is very easy. You see, it's not the hypnosis that's important in this, it what goes on after a person is hypnotized. If a person doesn't have training and experience in this field, they may end up have you creating "false memories" rather than actually recalling past experiences.

This is a very real danger. Some people with minimal psychological training and a weekend course in hypnosis have caused what has been called the "false memory syndrome." It has resulted in ruining hundreds, if not thousands of lives, hundreds of families, and cost individuals and governments hundreds of millions of dollars.

So find a certified hypnotherapist who specializes in memory recovery. How can you know this? Ask. It's really easy.

Good luck!

[nicoleC99]

Dear Don,
thanks for your reply ! Yes I know about the False Memory Syndrome and that's one of the reasons why I was thinking of another way to get a clear memory. Do you think that my memory might come back completely if I am ready to accept things I wasn't willing to accept before. The first time I had got a strange feeling about this was more than 2 years ago. It was after I had drunk too much alcohol. I had an amnesy afterwards - couldn't remember anything from a certain point on - just that there was a stranger who took me home by car and wanted something from me. But I didn't remember what had happened between us. The next day I was really panic ( mostly I freaked because I didn't know what had happened between that man and me - IT MIGHT WELL BE THAT THIS EXPERIENCE HAS TRIGGERED SOMETHING IN ME ! )and got the feeling for the first time in my life that my grand-father had abused me as a small child. I loved him very much and when he came to visit us I used to like lying beside him in his bed ( that's what I remember very well). I am getting more and more the feeling that he abused this situation. Today I got the feeling that he used to say : My child , that's our secret. Just yours and mine. Don't you ever tell it to anyone. You are my favorite grand-child ...I love you.
Nicole

[Don]

Hi, Nicole.

Unfortunately, there are just too many "ifs" to predict what might or might not happen. I wish I could be more positive than that. However, someone who is trained and experienced in hypnosis and regression should be able to help you without a problem with FMS.

[Calvin Iwema]

I have been able to piece together many old weird memories of my own childhood. There are also a few more that I "suspect" but haven't yet recovered fully. The question I ask my clients is, do you really want them back, or do you want to change how you feel about yourself and gain more behavioral choices? It can definitely be done through hypnosis. What you do with that information and what it means about who you are is much, much more important.

If you seek out a hypnotist, you want to find someone who will not lead you. There technique needs to remain content free. Example of leading....go back to the first time your grandfather abused you. This presupposes something that may not have happened, and is how the faulty memories are created. A good hypnotist will simply guide you to finding what's there, and will also be able to help you make healthy use of that information and the meaning you assign it.

It's very important to get a good referral.

Often times memory is state-specific, which means that when you are in a certain state (happy), you tend to have happy memories. If you stick with your physical sensations and emotions when they come up, you might find your ability to recall them goes way up. You also then want to be able to change your state back to a preferred one after doing this.

[Terry]

Nicole, if you have never previously had such a memory, and it occured after you had entered into an area of danger to you, I would be of the opinion that it could indeed be a false memory, erected as an excuse of some sort for the lapse of character you showed by getting drunk, and letting a stranger take you home. Now realise this is only a guess, but it is something to consider before spending money on therapy which might add to your life or not according to how you use what you discover....Not all false memories are due to the actions of the therapist, many are due to the imagination of the client, so even using an ethical practitioner, you may get results that are unprovable now, and will give rise to hard feelings against a close relative.....Terry