Marital Fidelity Scripts for a Wife

[Donavan]

Marital Fidelity:

You will find that you are able to avoid discussing any ideas for improving your marriage with any male person. Any questions about your marriage, will be "Overall, we are great together. There are many aspects to a marriage, and I feel lucky with my combination with my Husband."

You will be able to keep secrets about your marriage from all male and female persons. You will keep all pleasures in the marital bedroom secret. You will find pleasure in just smiting and nodding when any discussions of martial bedroom pleasures arise in the conversation.

You will find it convenient;ent and easy to excuse yourself from the presence of any male person with whom any flirting or intimacy starts to begin.

Veranda 2 Type

Ideas? Ethics

[skip]

Is there a presupposition here?

[Terry (existing)]

Well Skip, there must be a proposition, because the poster started in the middle of something. Do you suppose he (I assume of course) feels it nescesssary to warn any females not to discuss problems in their marriage with any of us male practitioners?

[skip]

I suspect there is a very low self esteem issue.

And unfortunately it may be entirely justified.

skip

[Poodle]

I think this person needs cognative therapy, not anything we have to offer. Sorry, but the "script" made me laugh!! 'nite all!! Pood

[Jack]

You will find pleasure in just smiting and nodding when any discussions of martial bedroom pleasures arise in the conversation.


Smiting strangers is not a good start.

Apart from that, a direct approach like this will have limited success.

Jack

[Donavan]

5 responses to my first post in one day is surprising to me, as I did not expect much action on this board.

What would be nice, is some additional ides for concepts of scripts for fidelity.

Donavan

[Jack]

Well, Donovan, this is the most active hypnotherapy forum on the net as far as I am aware, so don't be too surprised.

The problem is this: some of us, myself included don't use scripts. The use of scripts is mainly for novices. What we generally do when faced with a client is to investigate causes. Now, in this instance we can't investigate causes because we don't know the parties involved and would never try to do that over the net.

There is no universal panacea for the thought processes of others. A script will not cut it, and if you don't mind me saying so, you are barking up the wrong tree and may very well be in the wrong forest.

You should seek professional help in person - this is meant to be kindly advice.

Jack




5 responses to my first post in one day is surprising to me, as I did not expect much action on this board.

What would be nice, is some additional ides for concepts of scripts for fidelity.

Donavan

[Don]

I would suggest that rather than giving such suggestions to another (after all, you don't know if she wants to change) you consider giving the following ones to yourself while in self-hypnosis:

I will regularly discuss ideas for improving our relationship with my wife and with people trained in helping marital relationships.

Overall, we are great together. I must always remember that. However, it doesn't mean that it can't be even better. To this end, I need to be open to my wife's actions and words so I can better meet her needs.

I am lucky to be married to my wife.

I understand that communication is a huge part of life. Therefore, I will make very, very, explicit and clear what there is in our relationship that I don't want my wife to discuss with non-professionals. I will promise not to discuss them, either. Together, perhaps with a professional, we can resolve any issues and make our relationship even stronger.

I so love my spouse that I love it when she is admired and respected by others. If she can help others by talking about something positive that we do, I not only approve of it, I encourage it.

Flirting is such fun! I enjoy seeing my wife having fun. We clearly and explicitly have discussed the limits of such playing and both willingly accept those limits.

[Donavan]

Dear Don,



Thanks for the thoughtful self-hypnosis exercises.

Some think Power in a man, creates love from a woman.

Personal Script:

I will be alert for opportunites to appear powerful to my wife. I will be alert for desires of my wife, that I might fulfill quickly and easily. I will find my personal productivity increasing so that I have more freetime to fulfill whims and desires of my wife.



Ideas?

[Donavan]

Dear Jack,



Why Cheat?



One motivation for an affair may be a Polarity Response. That is doing the opposite of what she is supposed to do.

There may be one or several factors kicking in a Polarity Response. One factor may be my wife fails to control here impulsively adopting increased expectations, in one aspect of marriage or another. If my wife were able to take the overall marriage into account, on a consistent basis, her slicing out a category for intense attention, might be shortened or reduced. Since my wife more than occasionally goes of f on a tangent of overemphasis, she sometimes has the view of my being an inadequate husband.

Possible Husband Leadership Retort to W: "Please change your focus from Inadequacy A, and describe an advantage of your marriage, in a different viewpoint. Describe another advantage, in another different viewpoint."

Another Possible motivation could be that my wife is feeling that she cannot depend upon my resources to fulfill the expectations she has for Life. Therefore, she needs to keep trying to hook some other guy, who she envisions as better able to meet her desires for time, attention and riches.

Another possibility is that my wife is simply a sucker for a reasonably good line. So when somebody comes along with a good story, she falls out of the marriage cart.

Another possibility is that I am poorly suited for my wife, as a husband, and the marriage will continue to experience trouble.

Another possibility is the my wife and I have a dynamically passionate relationship, which involves highs and lows, and to find the highs that I have with my wife, I am going to have to figure on some lows. The alternative being to find a wife whom I love less intensely, yet who will be better able to walk the line.

UNDERLYING CHEATING BELIEFS:

Some affairs by a wife could have different meanings, and be based upon different possible beliefs.

Wife's Belief 1: My husband will understand that I still intend to give my husband a lot of love in the future, and the actual love in the past, plus the anticipation of my Love in th future will create forgiveness for me.

W Belief 2: Since my indiscretions will never be discovered, there is no reason for my husband to decrease his love and trust for me.

Husband Belief A: I can rely upon my wife to always be faithful to me.

H Belief: B: I have trust in my wife's emotional devotion to me, so that if my wife has Sexual encounters with others, behind my back, there is still an emotional attachment that I can trust from my wife.

H Belief C: I have trust in my wife's emotional devotion to me, so that if my wife has emotional and sexual encounters, behind my back, that I can still rely upon an emotional attachment to me, from my wife.

H Belief D: I have faith in my wife's emotional attachment to me, for the future, and I would prefer that she keep any emotional or sexual encounters with others, in secret, as much as possible, so that I have less to explain to the children, and my friends and relatives.

H Belief E: I have faith in my wife's emotional attachment to me, and her enjoyment of sex with others does not diminish my wife's commitment to me, and out marriage.

H Belief F: I believe my openness to discuss my wife's sexual desires and encounters with others makes our marriage stronger, and based more upon reality.


Ideas?

[Donavan]

FURTHER SCRIPTS:

You desire to have the respect of youru children and grand children, and family ties are important for you. So you will seek to find ways to express your furustrations directly to your husband, and avoid any temptations of expressing your desires for improrovements, in any counterproductive manners. You will find it easy to find words and attitudes to honor your husband's desires, beliefs, decisions and actions.

You desire your husband's continued assistance for your children, and realize that pushing your husband away, will have the risk of your husbvand entering another family, and diluting the resources of youru husband for your children.

[Terry (existing)]

I had believed that slavery was a thing of the past, but it does seem alive and well in you. Your posts show a strong desire to rule your wife and children as if they are chattel.

[Jack]

Donavan, I don't quite understand where cheating came into the discussion.:confused:
What are you not disclosing? Or is it another question?

Jack

[Donavan]

You will occasionally find yourself dissatisfied with your marriage. There will be one or several aspects of the marriage that will seem unreasonable and unconscionable to you. You may feel that these aspects of your marriage warrant being less than cordial to your husband, in an effort to get your husband to give as much attention to the matters as you feel are justified.

You will find it easy to pull back your feelings of anger or furstration. You will find other thoughts coming to your mind of all the total aspects of the value of your husgband to you, youre childrenand yhour grandchildren. You will see the future, and see your husband avaiabale to assist wtih needs and suport inthe future. You will see more and more ways, taht your husband will be of value to you. You wil seek to give him honor and respect, for continued and past support and help.

[Jack]

Donavan, seek help. What you are looking for is not on here.

Jack

[skip]

Dont let them get you down Donavan, we both know those Taliban guys had this woman thing figured out.

Bet they had a great script!

skip

[Donavan]

Integration of dissassociated emotional concerns. #3 DVD, Bandler 1989, Boulder Colorado.

Bandler likens the process to an alcoholic, who behaves badly when drunk, and says, "That was the Alcohol, that wasnot ME!"


I was looking at a book, Hypnotherapy Scritps, A Neo-Ericksonian Approach to Persuasive Healing by Ronald A Havens and Catherine Walters.

My wife is somewhat close to being ADHD, and has a short attention span. I need to have my ideas in one line ziners, or I never get the idea across.

But I am unable to get my wife to talk about the future. I think tahtg projecting some concpets in the future, coule be a Layering process.

When I feel I need therapy, I study instruction for Therapists. Scientology call this Solo Auditing.

I should probably get a list of my marital attributtes, for layering into the future, so that wh;en dissassociation occures, I can have a shortcut back to the future.

Ideas?

[Don]

There is a BIG difference between studying instruction for therapists and going to therapy.

From your description, you've got big problems with communication in your relationship. You and your wife should get into couples therapy.

We cannot provide therapy here. Your posts are simply your attempt to avoid making any real change.

[Donavan]

Further Study:

I am also listening to the Anthony Robbins Personal Power Tape seminar. Robbins seems to have studied Bandler.

What Positive or negative associative concepts might be looked for in Fidelity Issues?

Bandler speaks of Familiarity as a strong motivator.

Bandler speaks of using sounds as anchors/conditioners. The sound of fingernails on a blackboard as aversive associative conditioning.

Still formulating the future.

[Kim]

It isn't often I post on this site as I see that things tick along nicely.... I also see that everyone has responded eloquently to Donovan- always well done.

Donovan, I sincerly hope that you never ever hypnotise anyone let alone someone you are intimately involved with like you wife.

Your script is full of presuppositions that have no place in Hypnosis, NLP or TLT.
Your assumptions are about poor communication within your relationship and these are things that no script will help.

As a therapist and a person !! I always suggest the only client/therapist relationship is one that is purely that. having a relationship with a client is unethical as is having a wife who is a client.

Donovan... go and get some support for the issues that you are dealing with within yourself... and thankyou for providing the biggest laugh I have had in a long time.