JonT
11-23-2005, 03:44 AM
Hello everyone, I’ve just joined your forum and thought it would be nice to introduce myself. There doesn't seem to be a special introductions area, so here I am:
I'm Jon and I'm a freelance writer. I’m not a trained hypnotherapist, not do I hold a degree in psychology, but there's a vast range of books, and I’ve read (and hopefully learned from) an increasingly expensive pile of them. What I have learned so far is demonstrably useful in several contexts. I can have a tantrum-throwing toddler sat bolt upright and gazing silently at me in about ten seconds flat for instance, (oh how I would that it were the same for the damned parents!). I help the quiz league team I play for do the best we can, as well as quite reasonably and fairly putting the psychological kybosh on our opponents (cue evil chuckle!).
There’s a serious reason for all this, however. Over the past few years, things have taken a serious turn. My friends and I are getting to “that” age when jobs are being lost, affairs are being uncovered, kids are going feral, and husbands have run off with younger models. After the lives of several close friends fell apart in fairly quick succession, they started turning to me as a reluctant and free therapist because, apparently, I "know about all that mind stuff", to get them over unexpected psychological hurdles that used to seem trivial, but suddenly seemed insurmountable.
I don’t think I’m exaggerating by saying I’ve emerged fairly well skilled, having had to mostly discover things with a bit of reading and a lot of practicing (there really is nothing like being thrown on stage and told to perform, is there!?). People bottle thingsup then call me for help at random, or monopolise me socially, so I have to be there for them! I don’t mind, though. I like helping people, and the results are there. In fact, friends of friends have begun using me, based on recommendations, which his quite disconcerting. I seem to spend hours hearing phrases like “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but…” over a hastily agreed pint in the local. Perhaps I subconsciously do it for the beer. Thinking about it, yes, it’s probably the beer file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/jon/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_image001.gif
Okay, so you probably I think I’m a conceited wannabe who’s half-read a couple of books and now believes himself the cat’s meow on all things psychological. I don’t. I continue to put in a considerable amount of time into study and practice every day. I’m here because of other peopl, and I want to put what I’ve learned into some sort of order and context, to ask questions, and to expand on what I’ve worked out so far. Here’s a list of the major tools I use:
The most important skill I think is building rapport. In most people, rapport plus well-chosen questions build a space where they realise they can unburden themselves without feeling self conscious, so I’ve managed to get people to explore parts of themselves that have been previously inaccessible. It's been great for pulling people out of a problem state and inducing a meta-state so we consider a few resource states they might like.
God bless Milton Erickson! I can't begin to describe what I've learned by reading him. Discovering metaphor to be a good tool to impart specific meaning to the subconscious was a revelation. What a genius! I try to use a small amount of comedy in my metaphor work, because in my experience it greases acceptance of the underlying suggestion. What I've found in practice is that a good metaphor is easy to use conversationally, but it can be very effective in subsequently triggering a state. I'm sure that's been explored to death, though.
Anchoring (the rest of psychology calls this classical conditioning. Any reason why?) is a great tool. I must admit to having installed several anchors in myself (to concentrate fully on writing when deadlines loom, for weight control, to induce a disgustingly indulgent sense of euphoria when I’m a bit down, etc.). I’ve lost ½ stone this year by stopping myself snacking and feeling pleasantly full instead. I’ve even started using short-lasting, situational triggers to help me to remember things (i.e. get to the front door and suddenly realise you have to take out the rubbish, take that letter to the post box, etc.). Now I’m teaching my friends, and I’m also incorporating trigger phrases when things are dicey, so that they can be fired off at appropriate times to bring a subject back to where they were when we last resolved an issue that they now think is creeping back up on them. These are great for crises of confidence, because they only take a quick phone call or text message.
Autosuggestion is a field I’ve started to have excellent success with. I had a painful condition that is no longer painful, and I no longer have panic attacks for instance. The technique I use to focus and occupy the conscious mind is a cyclic breathing/counting/relaxation combination that both demands total concentration and sends the subject deeper with every cycle. The state it creates can even be re-triggered. Ask for details! (It’s probably just a re-invention of another’s work I don’t know about, but it is effective.)
You’ve probably guessed that I’m not the sort of person to insist on using only one technique or sticking to a predetermined plan. I use a blend of the skills discussed above only as and when they seem appropriate. Formal hypnosis is something I’ve deliberately not touched so far, preferring to concentrate on these, but I think it’s time I got into it properly. I have been hypnotised myself, by a hypnotherapist, for an article I wrote over the summer, and know that what I experience during my own autosuggestion sessions is deliciously similar to that experienced as I entered her hypnotic trance. During the session (captured on video by a friend), she induced open-eye somnambulism (I walked about, answered questions, etc. all blankly and without bumping into things) installed a trigger to put me back into the state as she saw fit, which was interesting, and another trigger to have me take my shoes off without realising it. What an afternoon! I remember very little after the start of the experience, which makes it easier to understand a potential subject’s reticence. It’s this apparent loss of informed control that, asking around, bothers people in general. An exception seems to be those for whom I know ideas of submission form part of their sexuality (might be significant, might not. Comments, anyone?). Also, knowing you have shoes on one moment and realising they are off the next was somewhat frightening for someone who fears senility. What else, I imagine people wonder, is possible without the subject’s knowledge or control, regardless of reassurances about internal codes of conduct, etc.? So, part of what I’m interested learning is gaining agreement to experience hypnotic trance to make specific changes. Clearly, my existing skills will go some way, but how do others who are not in practice manage this?
The reason I want to add hypnosis to my repertoire is that I have a good understanding of different styles of behaviour therapies that can retrain the subject’s subconscious to break or make habits. But let’s face it, without a certain level of will power and a desire to put the work in, subjects tend to be okay for a day or so then slide back into their old ways. We live in a quick fix culture, and my thinking is to offer ways of helping changes that are more profound happen in short order, and that can be built into the framework I already have. Hypnosis seems to me to be the way to go.
I know, I know, “go on a course” already! I could, but in terms of how I learn, I think I’d have to un-learn a lot, and start again by learning how someone else teaches rather than building upon what I’ve worked out for myself naturally and in terms of what I already know. I want to blend it seamlessly with the rest of my skills, perhaps to the point where it ceases to be.
Anyway, I suppose one of my aims is to try to get some of the tools I’ve become skilled in down in book form in language the man on the Clapham Omnibus can understand, so that others can help themselves when Life rears up on its ugly side. Are there any thoughts on that?
Sorry, I'm rambling like mad, overwriting like fingers are new, and I'm nowhere near finished. I’ve got lots to say about minor techniques I’ve picked up, too. Quit while you're behind, Jon.
So, that’s me. What are the locals like? The warders? Village idiots? Anyone?
Hello!
I'm Jon and I'm a freelance writer. I’m not a trained hypnotherapist, not do I hold a degree in psychology, but there's a vast range of books, and I’ve read (and hopefully learned from) an increasingly expensive pile of them. What I have learned so far is demonstrably useful in several contexts. I can have a tantrum-throwing toddler sat bolt upright and gazing silently at me in about ten seconds flat for instance, (oh how I would that it were the same for the damned parents!). I help the quiz league team I play for do the best we can, as well as quite reasonably and fairly putting the psychological kybosh on our opponents (cue evil chuckle!).
There’s a serious reason for all this, however. Over the past few years, things have taken a serious turn. My friends and I are getting to “that” age when jobs are being lost, affairs are being uncovered, kids are going feral, and husbands have run off with younger models. After the lives of several close friends fell apart in fairly quick succession, they started turning to me as a reluctant and free therapist because, apparently, I "know about all that mind stuff", to get them over unexpected psychological hurdles that used to seem trivial, but suddenly seemed insurmountable.
I don’t think I’m exaggerating by saying I’ve emerged fairly well skilled, having had to mostly discover things with a bit of reading and a lot of practicing (there really is nothing like being thrown on stage and told to perform, is there!?). People bottle thingsup then call me for help at random, or monopolise me socially, so I have to be there for them! I don’t mind, though. I like helping people, and the results are there. In fact, friends of friends have begun using me, based on recommendations, which his quite disconcerting. I seem to spend hours hearing phrases like “I don’t know why I’m telling you this, but…” over a hastily agreed pint in the local. Perhaps I subconsciously do it for the beer. Thinking about it, yes, it’s probably the beer file:///C:/DOCUME%7E1/jon/LOCALS%7E1/Temp/msoclip1/01/clip_image001.gif
Okay, so you probably I think I’m a conceited wannabe who’s half-read a couple of books and now believes himself the cat’s meow on all things psychological. I don’t. I continue to put in a considerable amount of time into study and practice every day. I’m here because of other peopl, and I want to put what I’ve learned into some sort of order and context, to ask questions, and to expand on what I’ve worked out so far. Here’s a list of the major tools I use:
The most important skill I think is building rapport. In most people, rapport plus well-chosen questions build a space where they realise they can unburden themselves without feeling self conscious, so I’ve managed to get people to explore parts of themselves that have been previously inaccessible. It's been great for pulling people out of a problem state and inducing a meta-state so we consider a few resource states they might like.
God bless Milton Erickson! I can't begin to describe what I've learned by reading him. Discovering metaphor to be a good tool to impart specific meaning to the subconscious was a revelation. What a genius! I try to use a small amount of comedy in my metaphor work, because in my experience it greases acceptance of the underlying suggestion. What I've found in practice is that a good metaphor is easy to use conversationally, but it can be very effective in subsequently triggering a state. I'm sure that's been explored to death, though.
Anchoring (the rest of psychology calls this classical conditioning. Any reason why?) is a great tool. I must admit to having installed several anchors in myself (to concentrate fully on writing when deadlines loom, for weight control, to induce a disgustingly indulgent sense of euphoria when I’m a bit down, etc.). I’ve lost ½ stone this year by stopping myself snacking and feeling pleasantly full instead. I’ve even started using short-lasting, situational triggers to help me to remember things (i.e. get to the front door and suddenly realise you have to take out the rubbish, take that letter to the post box, etc.). Now I’m teaching my friends, and I’m also incorporating trigger phrases when things are dicey, so that they can be fired off at appropriate times to bring a subject back to where they were when we last resolved an issue that they now think is creeping back up on them. These are great for crises of confidence, because they only take a quick phone call or text message.
Autosuggestion is a field I’ve started to have excellent success with. I had a painful condition that is no longer painful, and I no longer have panic attacks for instance. The technique I use to focus and occupy the conscious mind is a cyclic breathing/counting/relaxation combination that both demands total concentration and sends the subject deeper with every cycle. The state it creates can even be re-triggered. Ask for details! (It’s probably just a re-invention of another’s work I don’t know about, but it is effective.)
You’ve probably guessed that I’m not the sort of person to insist on using only one technique or sticking to a predetermined plan. I use a blend of the skills discussed above only as and when they seem appropriate. Formal hypnosis is something I’ve deliberately not touched so far, preferring to concentrate on these, but I think it’s time I got into it properly. I have been hypnotised myself, by a hypnotherapist, for an article I wrote over the summer, and know that what I experience during my own autosuggestion sessions is deliciously similar to that experienced as I entered her hypnotic trance. During the session (captured on video by a friend), she induced open-eye somnambulism (I walked about, answered questions, etc. all blankly and without bumping into things) installed a trigger to put me back into the state as she saw fit, which was interesting, and another trigger to have me take my shoes off without realising it. What an afternoon! I remember very little after the start of the experience, which makes it easier to understand a potential subject’s reticence. It’s this apparent loss of informed control that, asking around, bothers people in general. An exception seems to be those for whom I know ideas of submission form part of their sexuality (might be significant, might not. Comments, anyone?). Also, knowing you have shoes on one moment and realising they are off the next was somewhat frightening for someone who fears senility. What else, I imagine people wonder, is possible without the subject’s knowledge or control, regardless of reassurances about internal codes of conduct, etc.? So, part of what I’m interested learning is gaining agreement to experience hypnotic trance to make specific changes. Clearly, my existing skills will go some way, but how do others who are not in practice manage this?
The reason I want to add hypnosis to my repertoire is that I have a good understanding of different styles of behaviour therapies that can retrain the subject’s subconscious to break or make habits. But let’s face it, without a certain level of will power and a desire to put the work in, subjects tend to be okay for a day or so then slide back into their old ways. We live in a quick fix culture, and my thinking is to offer ways of helping changes that are more profound happen in short order, and that can be built into the framework I already have. Hypnosis seems to me to be the way to go.
I know, I know, “go on a course” already! I could, but in terms of how I learn, I think I’d have to un-learn a lot, and start again by learning how someone else teaches rather than building upon what I’ve worked out for myself naturally and in terms of what I already know. I want to blend it seamlessly with the rest of my skills, perhaps to the point where it ceases to be.
Anyway, I suppose one of my aims is to try to get some of the tools I’ve become skilled in down in book form in language the man on the Clapham Omnibus can understand, so that others can help themselves when Life rears up on its ugly side. Are there any thoughts on that?
Sorry, I'm rambling like mad, overwriting like fingers are new, and I'm nowhere near finished. I’ve got lots to say about minor techniques I’ve picked up, too. Quit while you're behind, Jon.
So, that’s me. What are the locals like? The warders? Village idiots? Anyone?
Hello!