anoynomous
11-04-2005, 02:21 PM
When I was engaging in self-hypnosis, I had the following expirenced, any comments or anything would be useful for I am still trying to figure out the meaning myself.
As I lay in a relaxed, numb but seemingly conscious state, I see a situation unfold in my mind. Sometimes I am in the first person view of each of the two characters and sometimes I am in the 3rd person view of each character individually or in the situation as a whole. It starts out with me being very fearful and scared, seemingly only composed of fear, but I make nothing of this at first for it doesn’t seem to matter. I am walking through Wal-Mart all alone with no one in site; checking out all of the products around me. Then I hear a crazed man with various weapons coming. I am rather curious at first as to why this guy with a chain saw is coming towards me, but I begin to become fearful. I look in this persons eyes, unable to make out his face, and realize that he is going to do bad things with that chain saw. I get so scared I want to fall down and cry myself out of the situation, but instead I run like hell to some distant isle. This crazy man oddly doesn’t ran after me, rather he takes his time and keeps his pace as if persistence will eventually allow him to finish the job. By this time I realize that this man is relentless and fearless, and I am the one who is completely fearful and scared. I peak around a corner to see where he is. His chainsaw has switched to a knife and he was so close. My fearful self almost died on the spot from what he saw. He was on the ground backing away in disbelief. The man who was trying to kill the scared me was also me. As I backed away on the ground he slowly walked toward me, with his fists reading to inflict pain. He told me that I have to die because I am not worthy of existence, because I am pure fear, I am pure scaredness, I am pure weakness. When I was in the first perspective of the scared me all I felt was fear, pain and weakness, but as I switched views to the determined killer me. I realized something. He wasn’t crazy at all. He was trying to do be a favor, trying to help me. He lacked what the fearful me had so much of. He was determination, he was success, he new what he needed and what he wanted and he stopped at nothing to get it. I felt so good in his perspective but I switched back to the fearful me right as he engaged in killing me. He started to hit me and beat me. He played with me; he got amusement out of it. He desired it. Finally he wanted to finish the job, so he took me and strangled me. The funny thing is that it felt good to be killed. Its as if the fearful me finally realized that he wasn’t worthy to live or more so that he was helping his whole become better. My conclusion about this situation is that I realize and acknowledge that fear is holding me back from accomplishing my goals and the part of my mind that wants more than anything to become what I wish to be is telling me this. I have to get rid of the scared weak part of me that is stopping me from doing great things.
As I lay in a relaxed, numb but seemingly conscious state, I see a situation unfold in my mind. Sometimes I am in the first person view of each of the two characters and sometimes I am in the 3rd person view of each character individually or in the situation as a whole. It starts out with me being very fearful and scared, seemingly only composed of fear, but I make nothing of this at first for it doesn’t seem to matter. I am walking through Wal-Mart all alone with no one in site; checking out all of the products around me. Then I hear a crazed man with various weapons coming. I am rather curious at first as to why this guy with a chain saw is coming towards me, but I begin to become fearful. I look in this persons eyes, unable to make out his face, and realize that he is going to do bad things with that chain saw. I get so scared I want to fall down and cry myself out of the situation, but instead I run like hell to some distant isle. This crazy man oddly doesn’t ran after me, rather he takes his time and keeps his pace as if persistence will eventually allow him to finish the job. By this time I realize that this man is relentless and fearless, and I am the one who is completely fearful and scared. I peak around a corner to see where he is. His chainsaw has switched to a knife and he was so close. My fearful self almost died on the spot from what he saw. He was on the ground backing away in disbelief. The man who was trying to kill the scared me was also me. As I backed away on the ground he slowly walked toward me, with his fists reading to inflict pain. He told me that I have to die because I am not worthy of existence, because I am pure fear, I am pure scaredness, I am pure weakness. When I was in the first perspective of the scared me all I felt was fear, pain and weakness, but as I switched views to the determined killer me. I realized something. He wasn’t crazy at all. He was trying to do be a favor, trying to help me. He lacked what the fearful me had so much of. He was determination, he was success, he new what he needed and what he wanted and he stopped at nothing to get it. I felt so good in his perspective but I switched back to the fearful me right as he engaged in killing me. He started to hit me and beat me. He played with me; he got amusement out of it. He desired it. Finally he wanted to finish the job, so he took me and strangled me. The funny thing is that it felt good to be killed. Its as if the fearful me finally realized that he wasn’t worthy to live or more so that he was helping his whole become better. My conclusion about this situation is that I realize and acknowledge that fear is holding me back from accomplishing my goals and the part of my mind that wants more than anything to become what I wish to be is telling me this. I have to get rid of the scared weak part of me that is stopping me from doing great things.