Youaregettingsleepy
10-21-2005, 10:13 AM
I was reading
the book Change (by Watzlawick, Weakland & Fisch) & came across a
story describing how Watzlawick helped a student who had been
unable to complete his thesis due to anxiety. He told the student
"Go into three shops over the next week & make an absurd request."
The student did so, reported a shift in attitude, & finished their
thesis shortly thereafter. I loved the idea, & thought it might be
useful with the reluctant telesales team, but I knew that I
couldnąt ask them to do something I wasnąt willing to do myself. I
said to myself "You have to do this", & as soon as I got off the
tube, I went into a well-known fast-food hamburger joint outside
the station. I joined the queue, looking around at the other
customers. My heart was pounding like a drum; even though I knew
rationally that I was in no danger, my neurology was responding as
though I were about to stick up a bank.
When I got to the counter, I looked at the person behind it &, with
a straight face, asked for a ham & pineapple pizza. She looked
confused and said "What?" I repeated my request. She said "We donąt
sell those." "This is a Chinese restaurant isn't it?" I replied.
She said no, I said thanks anyway and left. I felt like I had just
knocked out Mike Tyson. I felt invincible!
Please, before you send me loads of email saying how childish this
is, & how it isnąt really NLP - I know. But the result was amazing.
In the days following, I did several similar acts. Each time, my
physical response was diminished, but in other areas of my life,
the opposite happened. I started to exhibit less hesitation and
more wanton ego for it than ever before!
Thrilled with my success, I invited the telesales people to do
similar absurd acts, and they reported similar liberating results.
I knew I was onto something.
The Pizza-walk Experience
A few years ago, I became interested in Tony Robbins & went to one
of his weekends, eagerly anticipating the fire-walking, which I had
heard so much about. I was really looking forward to it, and
Robbins did a great job of building up the anticipation, but when
the time came, I found it impossible to actually believe that
walking on the hot coals was in any way dangerous. As a result,
walking across them didn't have much impact on me as a metaphor for
overcoming fears in other areas of my life (though I know it really
works for some people.)
By comparison, The Pizza-walk Experience costs nothing, can be done
virtually anywhere, and is incredibly powerful. So
1) Identify a few of the areas in your life where you hesitate and
would like to just go for it.
2) Choose a commercial premises (eg. shop, restaurant, petrol
station) and make an absurd request (ie. ask for something they
definitely don't sell) while keeping a straight face. Be polite,
safe and non-threatening.
3) Repeat twice more in the course of a week.
4) Look forward to the situations where in the past you would have
hesitated, and enjoy your new responses.
One of my clients used to have difficulties asking women out on
dates. I sent him out to a burger joint to get some Italian food.
Within the week he had a date and today has a full diary [2005
update he's moved to Australia & is engaged to be married!]. This
stuff works!
For those of you who are worried about the person behind the
counter, in all the times I've done this, their response has been
anywhere from bemused to very amused, but not frightened. The key
is for you to be non-threatening and polite (ideally coming across
as a bit confused). For those of you who are thinking this is
pointless, foolish or humiliating you probably need this more than
most.
Why does this work?
Our central nervous system is set up to protect us from dangerous
situations. Many of us have been heavily conditioned against making
mistakes (by teachers, parents, peers etc.) and code mistakes as
dangerous. Yet making mistakes is an incredibly important part of
learning, growing and exploring. A willingness to make mistakes is
an absolute must for anyone who wishes to become skilled at NLP
(with me, I used to be almost phobic of making mistakes, but no
more). The Pizza-walk Experience seems to help you eliminate this
unhelpful response. There are lots of other NLP techniques which
can reduce hesitation & increase "go for it", but this one's the
easiest & quickest to communicate in writing. By the way, obviously
there are times when it's useful to hesitate (eg. when about to
step into a busy street). Keep those.
the book Change (by Watzlawick, Weakland & Fisch) & came across a
story describing how Watzlawick helped a student who had been
unable to complete his thesis due to anxiety. He told the student
"Go into three shops over the next week & make an absurd request."
The student did so, reported a shift in attitude, & finished their
thesis shortly thereafter. I loved the idea, & thought it might be
useful with the reluctant telesales team, but I knew that I
couldnąt ask them to do something I wasnąt willing to do myself. I
said to myself "You have to do this", & as soon as I got off the
tube, I went into a well-known fast-food hamburger joint outside
the station. I joined the queue, looking around at the other
customers. My heart was pounding like a drum; even though I knew
rationally that I was in no danger, my neurology was responding as
though I were about to stick up a bank.
When I got to the counter, I looked at the person behind it &, with
a straight face, asked for a ham & pineapple pizza. She looked
confused and said "What?" I repeated my request. She said "We donąt
sell those." "This is a Chinese restaurant isn't it?" I replied.
She said no, I said thanks anyway and left. I felt like I had just
knocked out Mike Tyson. I felt invincible!
Please, before you send me loads of email saying how childish this
is, & how it isnąt really NLP - I know. But the result was amazing.
In the days following, I did several similar acts. Each time, my
physical response was diminished, but in other areas of my life,
the opposite happened. I started to exhibit less hesitation and
more wanton ego for it than ever before!
Thrilled with my success, I invited the telesales people to do
similar absurd acts, and they reported similar liberating results.
I knew I was onto something.
The Pizza-walk Experience
A few years ago, I became interested in Tony Robbins & went to one
of his weekends, eagerly anticipating the fire-walking, which I had
heard so much about. I was really looking forward to it, and
Robbins did a great job of building up the anticipation, but when
the time came, I found it impossible to actually believe that
walking on the hot coals was in any way dangerous. As a result,
walking across them didn't have much impact on me as a metaphor for
overcoming fears in other areas of my life (though I know it really
works for some people.)
By comparison, The Pizza-walk Experience costs nothing, can be done
virtually anywhere, and is incredibly powerful. So
1) Identify a few of the areas in your life where you hesitate and
would like to just go for it.
2) Choose a commercial premises (eg. shop, restaurant, petrol
station) and make an absurd request (ie. ask for something they
definitely don't sell) while keeping a straight face. Be polite,
safe and non-threatening.
3) Repeat twice more in the course of a week.
4) Look forward to the situations where in the past you would have
hesitated, and enjoy your new responses.
One of my clients used to have difficulties asking women out on
dates. I sent him out to a burger joint to get some Italian food.
Within the week he had a date and today has a full diary [2005
update he's moved to Australia & is engaged to be married!]. This
stuff works!
For those of you who are worried about the person behind the
counter, in all the times I've done this, their response has been
anywhere from bemused to very amused, but not frightened. The key
is for you to be non-threatening and polite (ideally coming across
as a bit confused). For those of you who are thinking this is
pointless, foolish or humiliating you probably need this more than
most.
Why does this work?
Our central nervous system is set up to protect us from dangerous
situations. Many of us have been heavily conditioned against making
mistakes (by teachers, parents, peers etc.) and code mistakes as
dangerous. Yet making mistakes is an incredibly important part of
learning, growing and exploring. A willingness to make mistakes is
an absolute must for anyone who wishes to become skilled at NLP
(with me, I used to be almost phobic of making mistakes, but no
more). The Pizza-walk Experience seems to help you eliminate this
unhelpful response. There are lots of other NLP techniques which
can reduce hesitation & increase "go for it", but this one's the
easiest & quickest to communicate in writing. By the way, obviously
there are times when it's useful to hesitate (eg. when about to
step into a busy street). Keep those.