Troubles with Anchoring

[PUA Yoyo]

I've known about NLP for nearly a year, and have found far more information about the subject (as well as other techniques like EFT, hypnosis, etc.) that I should have completely turned my life around from being a socially anxious person to being totally self-assured. However, it has not happened because for some odd reason I'm self-sabotaging myself all the time and I've been unable to do anything for long, so therefore I get nothing done. As anchoring in general through collapsing anchors seems to be the quickest way, I try doing that, but I've only succeeded in making it worse by accidentally installing negative anchors in a lot of places since I cannot, at all, visualize myself confident in the past, present, or future, nor can I visualize anyone else being so, which is the other option. Simply put, I can't visualize confidence whatsoever. It's rather painful for me and I'm at a total loss on what I can do, because my beliefs won't budge with reframing...

This issue is bleeding every area of my life white , especially my social life, so any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Charlie]

My first brief impression from your posting is that you need some help with what you are doing with NLP, as opposed to self-therapising.

Maybe join a local NLP group, or something like that?

[Merlin]

> I cannot, at all, visualize myself confident

Most people can't.
For most people confidence is a feeling, not a picture to visualise.

I'd encourage you to work with another person. It's often easier to have another person elicit the states to anchor.

[skip]

So someone who calls themselves a Pick Up Artist (PUA) doesnt have any confidence.

Well I admire ambition. :)

How confident are you that you cant reach a confident state?

It is impossible to not have the ability to be confident.

It IS possible to not realize it, tho.

See you DO have situations where you hve the utmost condifence, even if that confidence is in your ability to fail.

USE THAT.

See confidence is confidence, it coesnt care what it is applied to.

skip

[PUA Yoyo]

How confident are you that you cant reach a confident state?

It is impossible to not have the ability to be confident.

It IS possible to not realize it, tho.

See you DO have situations where you hve the utmost condifence, even if that confidence is in your ability to fail.

USE THAT.

See confidence is confidence, it coesnt care what it is applied to.

skip[/QUOTE]

That's an interesting way of looking at it...the confidence in failing. How would I apply and anchor that, though?

[j0hnny#]

A quote from a zen master might help here (Dogen)
If you want to obtain a certain thing, you must first become a certain person [do things a certain way], obtaining that certain thing will no longer be your concern.