Shallow Hal

[rampant]

Can a happily married but increasingly bored guy install a "Shallow Hal" filter so that he perceives his wife to be Sharon Stone?

If so, how, and what area of NLP deals with this kind of thing? DHE perhaps?

[Cassandra 8]

Can a happily married but increasingly bored guy install a "Shallow Hal" filter so that he perceives his wife to be Sharon Stone?

If so, how, and what area of NLP deals with this kind of thing? DHE perhaps?Simple.

Just anchor the feeling you get from fantasizing about Sharon Stone to the act of kissing your wife. Every time you kiss your wife, think really intensely of the feeling. The more times and the deeper you re-enforce the anchor, the better. then, by simply kissing your wife, you will cause the release of the associated feeling.

What you're doing is creating a mental button and gradually wiring it to the very pleasurable bit of brain marked "Sharon Stone Feeling". Every time you press the button (kiss your wife) you activate the feeling of Sharon Stone Feeling automatically.

And never forget, a woman likes to be kissed. You might start firing an anchor in her that reminds her of how she used to feel about you, too. :rolleyes:

[Don]

I would respectfully suggest that what you are doing is thining that all you need to do to "fix" your relationship is to perceive your wife to be Sharon Stone. Could that perception be made? As Cassandra points out, doing that would be easy.

However, that would not "fix" your relationship any more than putting a band aid on your chest would fix a diseased heart valve.

I would suggest with great urgency that you immediately contact a relationship counselor in your area. The fact that you are looking here for help is a good beginning. I hope you can take the next step to healing and get counseling in your area. You can at first go by yourself. Later, your counselor may want to see both of you.

Good luck!

[Alonso]

Hey man, I was thinking that in that movie the whole underlying plot is set off by a hypnotic induction that goes wrong, or now I am not so sure but Tony Robbins maybe screwed the guy. Well, whatever, the point is that the movie is based on an irony, on something that went not how it was supposed to go...

In that sense, what I am trying to tell you is that perhaps what you want to do is sort of dumb and you'll end up not satisfied. And from my experience, beliefs set up on sketchy ideas usually take a long time to be set in stone.

So better think of NLP and DHE as tools that in a sense filter the information that you receive through your senses. To me it has been like a different way of having your brain process the things it perceives, but in ways that go way beyond crazy stuff like I want my wife to look like Sharon Stone. That would imply first of all, that I see Sharon, not my wife, and second, that I expect some sort of behaviour from my wife to go along with this belief even though she doesn't know what the hell I'm doing.

Now if you were to practice NLP, you would start creating new filters in all of your senses, in sight, hearing, feeling, smell, I'm missing one I think, they were five. Hmmm.

With these new filters you will inevitably start to communicate in different ways, because you perceive reality in different ways. And this is a great thing.

Many reasons why you believed you had come to the conclusion that you needed a pick me up for your relationship will probably just fade away as time goes by.

Your brain will be a different one, it will learn to pick up on all the great things it enjoys at just the right times, and really really learn to take these into new and wonderful directions. The world will freaking light up like a football stadium lightpost.

What I think will happen, believe it or not, is that what you already now you like about your wife will start to emanate from her more often. Partly because unconsciously your mind is going to make it do so. You know, those smiles you so much enjoy, her tone of voice when she's really excited about something, or really happy, or really curious and longing for your company--that one's by far the best. And hell, what will happen is even more great still. Imagine your mind seeing her as a completely new person, someone you're interested in a whole lot of course. I think presently, there is no woman I am seriously not interested in, no matter how much my old mind thought she might not be attractive or fun. Now all women are fun and interesting and you know, sexy in some ways.

Unless they got hit with a hammer as a little kid of course.

So yeah, practice some NLP, buy a video and just hear what the pros are talking about. These guys are like a Lama or a Guru from the East, they learn to see Beauty and Infinity in everything. No joke, they open doors in your mind so you can go in to where it is you want to go. And the door that you thought you were after turns out to be given to you but a much cooler one than you bargained for.

I expect your wife to send me a thank you note. Kidding. Take Care good sir.

[John Warner]

Don, do you think that's nessisary?

i'm not challenging you, i'm just honestly curious.

it would seem to me that if beauty is a socialy programmed thing, it would seem resonable to pick who you want to feel uncontrollable lust towards :)

is it also unreasonalbe that you might get bored of someone's physical appearence? do you think that requires therapy?

[Terry (existing)]

"Beauty is socially controlled" you say. Were did that idea come from? As for our shallow Hal, if he is bored with the appearance of his wife, perhaps he should do something about that instead of fanticising about another women whom he has never met, and knows nothing about. It would be much cheaper to buy the wife a new dress, some sexy underwear etc instead of spending money on a fantasy.

[Cassandra 8]

"Beauty is socially controlled" you say. Were did that idea come from?In essence, I suspect it comes from the multi-trillion dollar industry ensuring that this situation persists.

Has anyone ever taped and really listened to the dialogue in a beauty product commercial? They really are astonishingly rich examples of conversational techniques - and yet they're mostly aimed at the very section of society least able to process them rationally.

[skip]

Of course they couldnt be taking advantage of genetic predispositions to help sell this stuff.

[Don]

Hi, John.

First, feel free to challenge me or anyone else at any time. We're just people.

Second, I don't think your honest questions are a challenge at all. Rather, you are looking for more information on what I posted.

I suggested therapy for the original questioner not for what he said, but for what he didn't say. The original question was, "Can a happily married but increasingly bored guy install a "Shallow Hal" filter so that he perceives his wife to be Sharon Stone?"

The problem is not that he wants his wife to just to look like someone else, but
A) He's bored in his relationship and
B) he wants his wife to be someone else.

The orignial post said nothing about beauty. The real question is, why is he bored with his relationship? To answer that requires far more space and time than could be covered here--we'd have to do therapy. My guess--and it's only a guess--is that communications have broken down and his married life has become so rote that there is no emotions left. It will require therapy to bring back the feelings that resulted in them getting married in the first place.

The second problem is that he has an expectation/fantasy that if his wife were someone else (either in reality or simply in his mind), all of this would be different. In fact, however, it won't change their lack of communication or the sources of their disenchantment.

I don't know if their relationship can be saved, but simply becoming convinced that one's wife is someone else isn't going to do it unless he learns to communicate with her and she learns to communicate with him.

[scareKrow]

Thats really not healthy man. If you aren't appreciating the situation, don't "make pretend" your wife is somebody else. Either except the girl for wh she is, or get another girl.

Rob

[Ricky]

I disagree with some of the people in this thread.

On an evolutionary level, it is normal to desire other women, or to seek variety. It is a method of spreading genetic information to many different offspring, ensuring viable alternatives.

It is our society that promoted monogamy (I am a Christian and monogamy wasn't even our invention, really, look at the Bible).

His sense of boredom is a product of monogamy. It is very common among men and women.

I applaud you for seeking out answers.

One thought came up when someone mentioned the senses. Little things like buying her a different perfume or something else will spice things up.

One thing if for sure for my next relationship (that is if I don't win my ex back, see other thread), I will stick with a girl that works out. This keeps the spice in the relationship. Being physically fit does wonders for the libido.

[Don]

Ricky, you are doing a mind read. We have no way of knowing if his boredom is a product of monogamy. It could be due to a variety of other things.

[Ricky]

Yeah you might be right.


Having never been married, I make some assumptions about the concept of spending every day with someone and boredom that may or may not be true!

[Unregistered2]

Yeah you might be right.


Having never been married, I make some assumptions about the concept of spending every day with someone and boredom that may or may not be true!

Okay, I'm the original poster, and I really appreciate all of the replies to this thread.

Basically, it was a monogamy issue. After being together for 18 years (and getting married two weeks after my 20th birthday) life had become routine for both of us.

After reading a few of the first responses and swearing at you all out loud, I decided to go the communication route. Surprise, surprise, my wife felt exactly the same way about me - except she wanted Johnny Depp.

We've talked everything through and life is WAY better than before. And I can't actually remember the last time I had to fantasise (though this thread shows it must have been last year sometime).

Thanks again, people. I will be registering as a member under my real name in the near future.