rubbish memory, rubbish visualizing

[lauza211]

Can anyone help me? I'm interested in NLP and am reading books, but I find myself confused and sceptical right from the start. All the processes seem to start with or at least require some sort of recall or visualization. I'm no good at either. An example: imagining a rollercoaster, from a distance and then being in it. Went to Alton Towers a couple of years ago, don't remember what a single ride looks like. I can remember one from my childhood from a distance and can use that, but feeling like I'm in it.... nada. I find my brain very finickity when it comes to visualizations. I get flashes from all different angles but can't focus on one image, and if something's not exactly right, my mind will go off on a tangent in frustration. I cn't build any sort of emotional response to this. How do I sort this? Is it possible to learn NLP?
My memory terrifies me. I remember hardly anything, and often badly. Even important events, like my boyfriend proposing....wht I thought I remembered was complete fiction! How could I even start with NLP? How could I model?
I have ADD. I suppose that has something to do with it, but I can't get treatment for it here in the UK, and besides, I don't like to think of it, as it seems like more of an excuse than anything else.
Please help. I need to start to fix my life, and it's all about fixing me. I just have no idea how I can start when I can't see and I can't remember.

[Terry (existing)]

Let me mirror your question if I may. I am in need of an operation of a serious nature. I have read as much about it as I can, now I need to know what I should do next. I have very little confidence in myself, or in the operation being successfull. What should I do? OK, same story except that it reffers to a physical operation instead of a mental change. Would you think it proper if we suggested that you enter University, train as a surgeon, and then operate on yourself? I doubt it, yet you seem to feel we should encourage you to study NLP, and work on your own problems, in spite of you having doubts about both NLP, and your own abilities....... The normal thing to do when you are unwell, is to consult an expert, and it makes little difference if the problem is physical or mental. Working on yourself is both time wasting and foolish. Go consult someone already trained in the art you are considering using, be it NLP, hypnosis, or whatever. The ability to visualize is not a prerequisite for a qualified practitioner of hypnosis, and a face to face consultation will be required to decide which might best be used in your case....

[skip]

lauza,

You have brought up several issues, and Ill try and address them.

First lets talk about memory. You probably have a better memory than you realize, but it is true that your memory is mostly fiction. So is mine. You DO remember that your boyfriend proposed, and you DO presumably recall your answer. I would wager you can recognize your boyfriends face in a crowd, I suspect you can pick out friends in a crowd as well. I feel pretty certain that you can tell me the color of your automobile, or your mothers hair. I suspect that you know when your birthday is, and that you could wirte down your home address.

If you can do these things both your memory and visualization skills are intact, because both of those things are essential to being able to accomplish those simple feats.

Further, Ill bet that you can detect the difference between the smell of fresh bread and brownies. Can you distinguish between the taste of salt and vinegar? Do you prefer the feel of suede or velvet? Given the choice would you prefer to feel envy or contentment? Do you think Rod Stewart is a better singer than Bet Midler, why or why not?

If you can make those distinctions your other representational systems work just fine as well. Thats the good news.

The bad news is that you are sorely out of practice noticing some of them. And because you are, you have more trouble recalling events well.

It seems from your post, that you dont access things visually much and that is why when you try and recall a roller coaster, visually, you have difficulty. Why not try recalling how it felt first, or how it sounded, or how you felt, or even the smells and tastes.

Go with your strongest sense, and let it develop, and lead your other remembrences of senses that come along as the whole sensation developes.

THEN practice exploring in detail and richness the other associated senses.

The flashing you mention could be that you are just very fast, and image after image flies by. Just relax and let yourself settle and you may notice that after a bit the images slow down, and you can begin to dwell on one or the other senses.

everyone can do this, you can too,

skip

[teadaze]

Listen to Skip...he talks sense. :)

I might have a helpful perspective as I have had a similair problem recently(although its fine now) with being able to hold images in my mind.

Although I dont suggest that your situation is exactly the same as mine, I found that when recalling memories I was TRYING far too hard. I was fired up with enthusiasm at being able to change the emotional content of some memories, and then frustrated when they memories were scratchy and vague.

I tried the following method which really helped me:

tense every muscle group one after another for a few seconds (so fist, bicep, neck, chest, legs etc.). You will find this allows your body to completely relax. I then concentrate my thoughts only on my nostrils - just calmly allowed the air to come in and out.

If your thoughts wander...and im sure they will to begin with, its not a problem! If you keep calm and gently bring your thoughts back to that small spot you are doing really well.

enjoy :)

Dont take Tezza's words to heart btw...I think he likes you! Hes actually a very cheerful fellow once you get to know him, and every once in a while he posts some really helpful comments onto the forum!