Help with Submodalities

[Naima]

Hello there. I've recently bought a self help book on NLP (NLP: the new art and science of getting what you want) by Dr Harry Alder. I bought the book to try and help me eliminate my social anxiety once and for all. So far i have a number of concerns - with particular regard to the changing submodalities technique he describes. I get the idea that you have to call up memories of a successful empowering situation and a negative unpleasant situation. With the memories of each you start to notice the submodalities and what is common between the good memories, and what is common between the bad, by virtue of detail. I have experimented with this technique and found a few difficulties.

Firstly I've found that calling up the unpleasant memories is very unpleasant and once I have them I find it much harder to call up a good memory. Dr Alder rather unhelpfully IMO does not talk about the emotional content of memory - which for me is perhaps the most memorable detail - instead he seems to focus on sensory detail, that which categorises the memory as good or bad. I am finding the content of one memory is overlapping with the other and the memories are being confused. I don't find it as easy as having one, and then the other seperate and then just switching them over (and at this point i must be honest i dont really see how anyone could - the brain is not a computer). Instead so far, as i've been doing it - I've just found that the unpleasant memories stored in my subconscious tend to make the whole overall experience quite negative and leave me feeling depressed and as if I havent changed anything. Plus I find memory recall quite tough a lot of the time. Dr Alder makes it sound like it should be a five minute short film which you can witness. I find its a few seconds of fleeting impression which when I try to analyse distorts with my conscious intervention. I'm finding the more I try the more hazy and under conscious control the details become, and i'm just left confused and disappointed.

Is there something I am doing wrong? Please could someone explain this concept to me in a practical way I can understand and not in the superhuman terms Dr Alder patronisingly puts across - I mean, stereo or mono? Also could anyone point me in the right direction for useful techniques to change subconscious beliefs about yourself as I feel this is a big problem for me.

Gratefully in advance :)

[Robert H]

to get used to noticing and labelling the submodalities of experience - start with either positive or neutral or very mildly unpleasant. Do NOT start with the most horrible experience in your life.

perhaps start with comparing the submodalities of curious compared to bored.

perhaps relaxed contrasted with excitement.

perhaps love vs like

perhaps happiness vs grateful.

As a very overgeneralized concept -- if an event has several emotions in it or on it or around it -- there will be different submodality configurations for each emotion. As you noticed -- it can get difficult keeping track of what submodality is linked with what emotion.

There is a concept of a "Gestalt" of memories - where each emotional experience is linked to or anchored to similar emotional experiences. Especially when dealing with strong emotions as you start to notice the details of one experience -- the other experiences linked to it tend to come to mind.

In addition to submodality configurations -- each emotion on an event will have a message / learning for you. Often emotional events will not easily resolve until you gain what you need to from the events.

once that is done it is much easier to use other techniques such as submodality mapping across. It is possible to change from one set of submodalities to another - unless it takes into account the "messages" of each emotion - it will not tend to last through time.

Great job noticing these things!!

I suggest trying other NLP books as a complements.

perhaps - introducing NLP by joseph Oconnor or Heart of the Mind by Steve and Connirae Andreas. maybe Secret of Creating your future by Tad james.

have fun
bye 4 now,

Robert

[Terry (existing)]

It would be both unkind and unfair to say, "If you can;t do it, write about it, but sadly, some authors write in such a manner as to convince their reader that it is possible to learn all that is needed from their book. I hope this is accidental, but it happens all too often... Book are an excellent source of knowledge which allows the reader to enter into therapy with someone competent, and follow what is being done for them with understanding, or the knowledge required to ask valid questions about the treatment they are receiving. If you are smart enough to be able to fix your problem without the help of others, you are likely smarter than the rest of us, and we would be of no help to you. If not, a local is needed since we cannot offer consultations over the internet with any degree of success.