Loosing interest quickly ( lack of commitment )

[moe]

Hi there

can anyone suggest why some people loose interest after short periods of time , and seem to become uncommited to something they were very commited to ?

I can unserstand if that happens for a few instance that the interest wasn't really what they wanted , but if this seem to happen all the time , in every aspect of life , there's probably something behind it

your thoughts ?

Thanks

[Shlomo_NLP]

Hey Moe

I can identify with what you're saying. It's only natural. At first, just like a new relationship or a new decision, it's exciting and very attractive. Then, it depends if you turn it into a habit or an "easy" thing to do...

Commitment for me is not like making a decision. It's a habit, it's something that you get used to. If you're committed to workout, but you made that commitment on something you don't like to do - let's say, working out in the gym - it might not last for long. Workout can be done in numerous ways and forms. I used to hate the gym until I realized that no one is forcing me to go. No one has ever told me that I HAVE to go. So who cares... I have other ways of working out now, without lifting weights and without smelling the sweat of 100 other people.. :-) .

Just to remind you - we, human beings, don't like changes. A new commitment is exciting at first but it becomes a pain in the neck later on because you have to change something in yourself or your environment in order to make it work.

As I said, I share your struggle with it, I am still struggling with it, especially now.

cheers,

Shlomo

[Terry (existing)]

It's quite common, and is a tendency built up over many years, not a disease..... I call it "the grasshopper mind", and you may quote me (G)...... Commitment requires effort and sometimes discomfort, so it is normal to avoid these unpleasant feelings.

[Don]

The second part of Newton's first law of motion: A body at rest remains at rest until and unless acted upon by an outside force.

I think this applies to the mind, too (although not via physics). If it is "at rest" by following a certain pattern and is introducted to another pattern, it's tendency is to rest in the original pattern. It needs an "outside force" to encourage it to assume the new pattern until that new pattern becomes its "resting" position.

That "outside force" can be anything from subconscious urges to post hypnotic suggestions to the nagging of a friend.

[parsa]

I'm making an attempt to show off:D .

Newton's first law states that an object will remain at rest or move with constant velocity unless a net force is exerted on it. Being at rest and moving with constant velocity is the same thing since it only depends on the observer.

There is one more thing that is more commonly used among students of physics to describe 'a lack of interest' or whatever you might call it. That every system tends to a state of minimum energy, that's why planets are spherical.
Your minimum energy state is the state your in, a decision to do something else is an excited state. Every system will eventually go back to its ground or minumum energy state if not constantly stimulated. This is a crude analogy just for the fun of it.

[Alonso]

Hey parsa, can I get some cool book ideas on physics, I want to read more on that stuff, something really deep.

[Cassandra 8]

I'm making an attempt to show off:D .

Newton's first law states that an object will remain at rest or move with constant velocity unless a net force is exerted on it. Being at rest and moving with constant velocity is the same thing since it only depends on the observer.
Someone will be along in a while to say that this is a belief, but anything they say will just be a belief too :)

Impress me. Do you do thermodynamics, at all?

[Merlin]

>a decision to do something else is an excited state.

I always prefer the excited state...
Ahhhhh... :)

[parsa]

Alonso,
Not sure what you mean by cool stuff and something really deep. If you want something that's talks about physics and relates it to the mind the only thing I know of are Roger Penrose's books. He has one book called The Emperor's New mind. I haven't read it but have heard it's good. You might give it a shot.

>Impress me.
Haven't done that to(?)/with(?) anyone for as long as I can remember :D

>Do you do thermodynamics, at all?
No, I've heard it's dangerous ;) . Rumors had it that physicists doing thermo and statistical mechanics had a high suicide rate :) .

[Alonso]

Oh snap,






thx parsa

[Andy B.]

I can understand if that happens for a few instance that the interest wasn't really what they wanted , but if this seem to happen all the time , in every aspect of life , there's probably something behind it
Did you ever hear of "well-formed outcomes"?

Many people, much of the time, don't really have an "outcome" at all for what they do, other than "to get through the next few hours", "collect a pay packet at the end of the week/month" and so on.

Now there's nothing inherently wrong with these goals - but they aren't exactly what you'd call MOTIVATIONAL. If this is how you feel about a particular goal then you are probably more likely to do the least you can get away with rather than really putting your heart and soul into whatever the activity may be.

In order to achieve something you (generic) really value you need to have BOTH (a) defined a well-formed goal, AND (b) have a plan for how you're going to achieve it. Quite often, even when people put together a goal they still forget the plan. A review by the British Psychological Society of various studies in this area show that even the best defined goals are likely to go unachieved if there isn't an equally good plan on how to achieve them.

So:
No well-formed goal - probably no achievement
Well-formed goal but no plan - possibly no achievement

Well-formed goal + well-defined plan - probable success

But how many people even know the basics of a well-formed goal and a well-defined plan?

Be well

Andy B.
Honest Abe's NLP Emporium
http://www3.mistral.co.uk/bradburyac

[JohnR]

Maybe its natural. From what I understand, our identity is defined by our beliefs which, mapped through capability and representation/filter systems, drive our behaviour.



Maybe there is a desire driven by belief for a new stimulus. But the fundamental belief is not in WHAT you are learning but rather in the novelty of learning something new. Further, the more one gets “into” a subject, the more challenging it can become and if capability lags desire, then, well, the outcome almost inevitable. I thought physics was cool (did a degree) but solving Schrodinger’s Equations gets annoying after a while !



http://hyperphysics.phy-astr.gsu.edu/hbase/quantum/schr.html



This is a personal generalisation though, best way to find out: ask them why the get turned off a subject. Have fun exploring it too!



[Btw, cool books on physics (cutting edge stuff) see “Entanglement” and “Faster than Light : Superluminal Loopholes in Physics”.

Rudy Rucker did a mental twister one “Beyond the Fourth Dimension” if you find it let me know. I lost my copy and can’t find another anywhere!

I like physics, because when you get down to quantum stuff, STRANGE things happen that almost have no layman equivalent and border on philosophical areas because the outcomes of experiments violate the apparent question. See youngs double slit experiment… very interesting, but off topic somewhat!]



Some people may just be “hooked” on learning new things to a superficial level. Perhaps their capability or resources are blocked or limited. You could find out! Ask them, check their modailites. The answers WILL be there !



Oh, and you’re all wrong about Newtons Law of motion! parsa was close!!!


:p

Cheers!

[Terry (existing)]

Oh dear it seems I have survived, and quite well while not understanding Newton's law of motion. I was taught what Don stated, and accepted it as true. Not only that, but it still makes sense to me.......

[skip]

"That every system tends to a state of minimum energy, that's why planets are spherical."

Does this also explain why so many people tend to be spherical?

[parsa]

>"That every system tends to a state of minimum energy, that's why planets are spherical."
>Does this also explain why so many people tend to be spherical?

I don't know. But let's give it a try.
a.) Every system tends to a state of minimum energy (unless stimulated).
b.) People are systems.
c.) People tend to a state of minimum energy (unless stimulated).
d.) More people used to be non spherical.
e.) These days people are more spherical.

Conclusion:
In the past there were more stimulants so people were able to keep a nonspherical shape. Time passed and stimulating forces dissipated and as a result of this dissipation people are now turning spherical.

How's that?

[g3_heavenlyfruit]

Hi,

I just joined this forum today. I've been struggling with the same issue of the inability to commit to anything--being it jobs, relationships, etc--all my life. There's only one thing that I've been committed to which is learning, learning and learning! I think besides setting a well-defined goal and a plan to implement it, one needs to dig really deep in one's psyche the reasons "Why" one wants to achieve these goals and the consequences (or pain) of not taking actions towards achieving that goal. What is it going to cost me if I don't commit and follow through on that goal. Well, I know a lot but the knowledge is useless unless I take action and practice using my knowledge to change the old ineffective behavior. Wow! I really like what I wrote here. I better print it out and read it everyday!

I fisrt learned about NLP when I bought my first Anthony Robbins book 12 years ago. Then I bought his 30 day audio program. When I was using it it really worked, but the thing is once I stopped I went back to the same old behavior again. I guess this is a lifelong process if I want to get rid of the old behavior which is causing so much chaos and ineffectiveness in my life.

Thanks for listening.

Shannon
Los Angeles, CA

[Robert H]

here's an angle:

Well 2 angles really.

1) in studying something if people come across a word they don't understand - it will cause a momentary blank spot in the materials they are studying, and potentially some unpleasant sensations. Add up a few of these, and you start to get confusion. In fact this is the structure of several hypnotic inductions that utilize this phenomena.

Enough confusion from misunderstood or wrongly words, and the person starts to dissociate themselves from it.

then they become critical of it.

then they make a transgression or wrong action against it - they do somehting they believe they should not.

then they justifiy their wrong action - how bad / wrong the subject / teacher, etc. is.

then they eventually just leave the scene.

2) in general the last three of these steps can function even when there is no issue with misunderstood words. - A person does something they feel is wrong - they justify by assigning blame elsewhere (other than themselves). And end up leaving. Sometimes it gets really messy. This phenomenon is ussually present when people leave something they were committed to.

It can often be helpful to take this approach.

Take a close look, an honest one....and see if this doesn't fit the times you left something or someone.

Robert

[Terry (existing)]

"That every system tends to a state of minimum energy, that's why planets are spherical."

Does this also explain why so many people tend to be spherical? Gee Skip, I never thought of that, but now you mention it, I was slim until I retired and took up fishing and other sedentary occupations, now I do tend the the spherical (EG).......Guess, just like the planets, I had best do some regular running around the pond......

[TaffyE]

Gee Skip, I never thought of that, but now you mention it, I was slim until I retired and took up fishing and other sedentary occupations, now I do tend the the spherical (EG).......Guess, just like the planets, I had best do some regular running around the pond......

Make sure it's not a spherical one :D

[Ricky]

This is quite interesting.

My ex gave as a reason for ending a perfectly good relationship (maybe even great), is "Sometimes I take the easy way out"

She changed her mind about moving to be with me. I have since been trying to win her back. It is time to brush up on NLP

Right now taking several steps back and allowing time are my strategies.

[Don]

Perhaps your good, maybe even great, relationship wasn't as good as you think.

You can win a war, you can win a prize in a contest, you can even win a game. But there is a special name for winning a person: slavery.

Perhaps, instead of brushing up on your NLP you might have more luck communicating and find out what her needs and wants are rather than how you can turn her into an object that you can win.

[Ricky]

Don

The relationship in my view was the best I have other than the distance.

But I do agree with some of your points.

[Dan]

I was once interested in NLP but after years of reading and practicing techniques that never worked i lost all commitment.

[Terry (existing)]

I was once interested in NLP but after years of reading and practicing techniques that never worked i lost all commitment. Don;t feel bad Dan, it isn't likely that you are too stupid to learn, but rather that you tried to do it on the cheap, as so many do, and like the majority you failed to achieve what you hoped for. Of course, it could also be that you have no good trainers in your area, but again, not your fault any more than it is ours.....

[Don]

While I don't think I'd use Terry's exact words, his point is well taken. As I understand it, reading books, watching videos, and listening to tapes or CDs while help you learn about NLP, but won't train you how to use it. For that you need in-person training and guided practice.

In your post, you say you read and practiced techniques. There is no indication that you ever went to a training.

Let me compare it this way. Suppose you read a great many books on brain surgery and practiced a couple of techniques on some melons. That would hardly qualify you to be a brain surgeon, but you would know a lot about brain surgery. I have no doubt that you probably know far more about NLP than some practitioners. But that doesn't stop them from succeeding where you have not.