Changing self-image

[Merlin]

Someone recently was asking about changing their self image.

I thought it'd be an interesting thread if a few people contributed their thougts on how.

Self-hypnosis?
Swish?
6-step reframe?

What would you say to them?
Specifics would be nice :)

[DrAdrianaJames]

Someone recently was asking about changing their self image.

I thought it'd be an interesting thread if a few people contributed their thougts on how.

Self-hypnosis?
Swish?
6-step reframe?

What would you say to them?
Specifics would be nice :)

The "self-image" is a combination of beliefs, decisions, attitudes, strategies, Metaprograms, values, etc. about self. These constitute an inner "scaffold" on which the "self-image" is built.

As such, there is nothing that could prevent a person to change his/her self-image by changing the above-mentioned components. Let's say, for example that someone believes that s/he is "just not intelligent enough". This belief will have that person produce behavior accordingly, to support this belief I.E. not succeed in personal endeavors.

In NLP we know that external events are processed inside through our filters. Guess what are the filters? Beliefs, values, decisions, attitudes, Metaprograms, etc. Ultimately, after the processing, the result is a certain behavior.

We as human beings are in the possession of a magnificent device for creating behavior. It is called our nervous system. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, the nervous system operates on the principle of GI-GO. Garbage in, garbage out. Wrong filters, wrong result (behavior).

We can change that "scaffold" easily using (in this order) Time Line Therapy, NLP (for reframing and/or any other necessary techniques like Values change) and only if needed (probably not for this presenting problem), hypnosis. Hypnosis alone will not get sufficient conscious mind-unconscious mind integration. NLP alone will not get rid of the root cause of beliefs, decisions, etc The combination of the three will insure success in letting go of whatever is undesirable in the present state.

I hope this is specific enough.


Adriana James Ph.D.

NLP Master Trainer
Hypnosis Trainer
Time Line Therapy Trainer

www.nlp.com

[parsa]

I guess self image could be about anything that pertains the way you precieve yourself.

But what if I would just ask about 'looks'.
Is there any one method that is preffered over the other? Would the method used depend on what aspect you are specifically trying to change?

[skip]

Parsa,

It might be helpful to make the point here, that self image is a result.

When you wonder, or are asked, "What do you think about yourself?" or when you are contemplating doing something, you go thru a process or series of processes, that result in a feeling or notion that we call your 'self image'.

Among these processes but not limited to them only are a series if 'searches' you do of your memory. The results of these searches are skewed by some of the beliefs you have developed about yourself. For example, you may search your past and find only failures. Or you may find only succeses. Now we all have both, but if you were to only find one, or the other, what would be the 'self image' conclusions you would draw?

If you were contemplating doing something, you search your past and find instances where you tried similar things. If you find mostly successful attempts, what do you suppose your chances of going ahead are? If you find mostly failures, what do you suppose your chances of backing out are?

The problem is that everyone has both, successes, and failures.

So how do some poeple end up with good self esteem, and others with poor? Go back and read Adriana's post again, it didnt explain how, but it does describe some of the behavioral elements that do come into play subjectively.

The beauty of it is, that using NLP and or Hypnosis, you can turn your self image on a dime.

skip

[Terry (existing)]

Spoken like a true Ph.D (G)........ Now it's true I am a master of hypnosis, but I use only one method when dealing with my grandchildren whom I hope to see very happy and successful. I TALK to them in a positive manner, and they listen. Works wonders....... Reminds me of the time I got a refferal from someone who had heard me speak at an HSA meeting. She told the person she was reffering, that I was fantastic, and the most likely person to help her. When she made the appointment, and after she had given me sufficient information to get accepted, she asked "can you help me?" I replied "of course I can". Long before she got to that appointment, she knew she would get what she wanted, because all circumstances had been positive, and of course she did, and rapidly..... Now this young lady was so bad, she couldn't hold a conversation with fellow workers during coffee breaks, yet in four sessions, she attended a party of strangers, made friends with them all, and had changed so completely it was unbelievable to anyone who had known her before. No NLP, no TLT, just belief in me, and hypnotic relaxation as a convincer. I won't even credit hypnosis for the results, but I do give credit to the cousin who reffered her, and to her mother who was so positive and happy when she knew about the appointment. Both deserve more credit than do I because their attitudes made it all possible..... The only failures in life, are those who have no faith in themselves, and are not smart enough to seek proper help. That help can come from a professional, a smart and caring friend, or from God, it matters little, and is dependant on the beliefs of the individual, not on how smart you and I are.....

[Terry (existing)]

I guess self image could be about anything that pertains the way you precieve yourself.

But what if I would just ask about 'looks'.
Is there any one method that is preffered over the other? Would the method used depend on what aspect you are specifically trying to change? I'm going to share a little secret with you my friend, a secret that everyone should be taught, and if they were this world would be a far better place. It matters little, the shape of your nose, or the size of you ears or your teeth. All that matters is how you see yourself as a person.

I asked God the other day,
If He would take my cares away.
He answered "NO" you aren't yet done,
There are more tasks and roads to run.
Just down there's another who is in greater need,
Tomorrow there's a pauper, I would have you feed.
Then He showed me more of what he had in store.
And my silly worries didn't matter any more.

Not sure who wrote that, or even if I quoted it word for word, but the gist of it remains.... Stop worrying about YOU and let God do that. Your job is to be the best you can be, and all else will fall into place.... For example, I have an uncle who was in an explosion, and who's face is a mess. He needs surgery regularly to remove ingrowing eye lashes, yet his gentle manner and voice was enough to attract a very beautiful lady, who married him more than fifty years ago. I'm willing to bet you don't look as bad as he, but he came to terms with his looks, and decided he wouldn't let them spoil his life.They haven't, and the result is, I have a very talented cousin with a
wonderful singing voice, who is now "The Singing Nun" of Birmingham...(G) Now you asked for "the preffered method for looks," so I wonder if you spotted the fact that the preffered method was indeed in the poem? Not only that, but you don't need to be skilled in hypnosis to use it......

[Jack]

Hello Adriana,

'Hypnosis alone will not get sufficient conscious mind-unconscious mind integration.'

Either I've been doing it successfully, but wrongly for the last 30 years or you haven't been trying hard enough.

Jack

[Shlomo_NLP]

I think the best technique is the "autobiography" pattern, it's powerful, effective and long lasting. I posted it here I think a while ago... anyway, it's also posted on my website.

[parsa]

Terry,
Thank you for your nice thoughts.

Skip,
>It might be helpful to make the point here, that self image is a result.
Nice point. As simple as that sounds and as logical as it sounds, to really believe in it does not come automatically, at least not for all.


I don't know how much this relates to self image but I had a question.

I guess most of us can engage in a mind image of physical attribute and feel something. For examlpe, every time I see someone having breathing problems on TV I notice myself breathing in the same way.
I think sensations such as cold and hot can come easily too.
But would happen if I like, imagined my hand burning, I can understand feeling the pain but can I really do tissue damage like a real burn?
If I imagined(properly) being in water for a long time would my fingers get that wrinkly look(I don't know what you call it)?
If I imagined excersising would I really burn calories?