Intolerance of senior members?

[Unhappy]

I must say, that it is very disappointing to see this much intolerance from multiple members toward considerably reasonable questions. I will not delve into the specifics of it, but would like to suggest another forum topic or maybe a sub-topic of hypnosis, one for the beginners and any questions. In my humble opinion, it would minimize the negative feedback receive for the majority of problems whether it may be arrogance, the thirst for monetary gain, or for whom that do not gain much satisfaction by contributing. It would create a better environment for both parties.

I have been part of bigger forums that involve more deeply rooted, more complex issues, dealing with items that go against every grain of your nature and nurture, of philosophy and even more complex and incomprehensible quantum physics (its randomness). I must admit that I have not seen the level of hostility from their wise and experienced members that I saw in one day of reading these posts.
To avoid any advertisement and prevent infestation of those forums I will refrain from supplying a link.

When I found this site, I immediately rushed with exhilaration to view its content. Unfortunately, I was highly disappointed.


Never the less, my observation of the problem stands, and if inaccurate I am more than willing to apologize for my hasty judgment. But if there is no disagreement in regards to the even slight possibility of the problem. Then it is your job to determine how much of a hassle it creates, because the solution would not be too time consuming (again, a generalization based on general vs. specific web knowledge).

[moe]

I'm new here myself , and find the forum quite useful
I think I've read quite many posts in here since I registered ( my leg is in cast , so I have a lot of free time! ) and compared to other forums I knowof, I would say the forum is average in the aspect of tolerance

I agree some of the replies I read sound aggressive , when I read it I feel like ( hhhmm , you got a point , but you could have said that in a nicer way , couldn't you? )
but then again maybe that's meant for a reason

I think the fact that this forum is about practical issues , things that happens in someone's life, rather than theoretical one's , and thus approaching it or giving advice about it should be done with care

had I had experience similar to what some of the people here have, I would be very cautious replying to some of the posts in here

after a few days , you get an idea who's style in replying is what, and you get used to it and accept it ( maybe that's a tolerance on your side ) and make the most use out of it

regarding your suggestion , I wonder how useful it would be , since you think some of the senior people here are the intolerate one's , so how can keeping them out ( provided this suggestion would do so ) would be benefitial for the quality of the posts

[Don]

Guest, while I agree with some of the things you and Moe are saying--and I try not to be guilty of it myself, I think there are two basic types of question that cause problems:

1) "Will you teach me everything you know about hypnosis in a brief post in this forum?" We do get this question--or various of it--repeatedly. The answer is, "No, we can't." That's like asking us to teach you how to make an atomic bomb in one brief post. Some people, I have to admit, have what might be called the "medical intern survivor attitude" of I made it through my training, so if you want to learn you have to suffer through everything I did, too. It appears that they are saying that they won't share the information. But even if they wanted to do so, it's simply logistically--and ethically--impossible to do so.

A question that is a subset of this is "Will you tell me about some basic concept?" This could easily be answered if the questioner simple put the key words into a search engine such a Google or actually did a bit of research. Instead, it gives the impression that they are too lazy to do the work and want to get a personal instructor without having to pay for it. No wonder that upsets some people who have actually studied for years or decades. Some people are rather rude about answering, however the answer is still "Go to a library or do an internet search." Some people have claimed that their library doesn't have the information. For small libraries this may be true. However, if people want to be students of hypnosis it is imperative to learn how to be a student. This includes taking advantage of all the library's features. One feature most libraries in the U.S. have is something called "interlibrary loan." This is a computer link up to a database of millions of books in united libraries. When you find a book you want, you can order it and the other library will send it to your library. The cost for this? Zero. Free. I don't know if other countries have this, but I'm going to assume that many do.

2) The second question that causes problem usually occurs with a long post wherein a person shares their view of a problem they or "a friend" is having, and even though they have never hypnotized a person in their life, they ask for some hypnotic means to solve their problem. Well, it would probably be illegal in many localities for anyone here to do that. And without doing an interview with the person who is seeking help, it would certainly be unethical. We cannot do therapy in this forum! So the usual advice is to see a practitioner in their area.

But then, the person who asked starts bringing up objections to the only legitimate answer we can give. It's too expensive. I don't know where to find a hypnotherapist. I think you're all wrong and even though I've never studied hypnosis I know more than all of you put together. You're just trying to make money off of me. Why are you people so rude and cruel that you won't help me?

Let me repeat: We cannot do therapy of any kind in this forum!

If you are looking to get over a problem, seek local assistance. There are hypnotists and therapists everywhere who may work on a sliding scale or do some pro bono work. If you need psychotherapy, there are clinics and government help. So the question of not having money is not a complaint against those who would help you change so much as an excuse not to get the assistance you need.

When people join a forum, it is considered "netiquette" to read instructions and notices before making posting. To this end, some time ago I posted the following:

Greetings, especially to all new people coming to our forum. We welcome you, encourage your questions and comments, and hope you'll register and share your ideas.

Sometimes, however, people come here looking for things we simply cannot provide for a variety of reasons. To clear things up before you post, here are some things to consider:

1) We cannot give you therapy. If you need help, please contacts someone in your area. We also cannot give you instructions how to hypnotize yourself or others and show you how to resolve a problem with a simple script.
2) We cannot recommend a hypnotherapist or NLP practitioners in your area. That's not our focus. If you're looking for someone, we suggest that you contact either the American Board of Hypnotherapy by sending an email to aih@ix.netcom.com or the National Guild of Hypnotists at https://www.ngh.net/referral.htm
3) We cannot rate hypnotherapists in your area.
4) We cannot teach you the basics of hypnotherapy or NLP. There are many books on these subjects which you can obtain from your library or any bookstore. However, we also strongly suggest that you consider taking training in your area.
5) We cannot give you a simple script to solve your specific problem. Every person is an individual and requires sessions individualized to their specific needs.
6) We cannot legally answer medical questions. If you have received a diagnosis from a licensed medical practitioner, you should seek advice from that practitioner. If you wish to know if hypnosis or NLP can help with certain medical problems, we can certainly answer in general terms. However, if you've received a diagnosis, ask your medical professional for a referral to a hypnotherapist or NLP practitioner in your area.
7) We cannot do your school report for you.
8) We do not allow advertising or personal attacks.

So what is the purpose of this board and what can we do?
1) The purpose is to discuss hypnotherapy, NLP, and associated topics.
2) We can certainly discuss certain specific aspects of these topics.
3) We can discuss theories and philsophies of hypnotherapy and NLP
4) We can suggest books that might give more information on topics
5) Individuals on this forum may choose to recommend practitioners. These are personal recommendations and may not represent the opinion of this forum or its owners.
6) Because of the nature of this forum, we can generally give brief answers to questions.
7) We can clear up misconceptions about hypnotherapy and NLP.

Please understand that the opinions expressed by people on this forum are only their opinions, and may or may not represent the opinions of the owners of this forum. Before taking the advice of anyone, we urge you to consult people in your are, especially people you know. We also urge you to ask lots of questions to any potential hypnotherapist or NLP practitioner you are considering.

I hope this clears things up for you and gives you a different view of the situation.

[TaffyE]

Unhappy,

but would like to suggest another forum topic or maybe a sub-topic of hypnosis, one for the beginners and any questions

So it would seem that you want people trained in the various modalities excluded from the "beginers forum".
Surely that's a case of the blind leading the blind. How would you expect beginners to learn anything.

Posted with an attitude of curiosity only.

[Unhappy]

Unhappy,



So it would seem that you want people trained in the various modalities excluded from the "beginers forum".
Surely that's a case of the blind leading the blind. How would you expect beginners to learn anything.

Posted with an attitude of curiosity only.


It would be unjust to commit to a dichotomy and claim that there are only two groups of people, one with training, and the other blind.


Any beginner grows with knowledge over time, and as they move up on the ladder of expertise there are many gray area’s that would keep them interested in both forums. L
This would offer a place for beginners along with intermediates and maybe a couple of experts.

[skip]

Unhappy guest,

I am encouraged. At leasy you have a suggestion instead of merely complaining. Thats a good sign IMO. The last guy who did this just wanted to *****.

And I could go into a number of reasons why some people get the answers they get, but that is from my view point, not necessarily anyone elses, and Don has given a good synposis of it already.

But I am assuming that by posting you intended to have a real, substanative dialogue, rather than just complain without any thoughts as to a solution.

I read your post and think I 'heard' something of what you dont want, but that is an away from strategy, and would allow for you still getting a wide range of unsatisfactory answers.

So If you would, humor me, and tell me what you do want.

And I mean how you would like people to be responded to, and what gives them the right to expect it, when their questions range from unanswerable (should we write the question for them too?), to theoretical (How does Derren Brown ...), to unfathomable (I heard this mp3 that you have never heard of, how did they do it?), to give me a script to fix this quick (I have a client in front of me that needs ...), to "I need help with this/you dont know what you are talking about."

Now I realize that I may be percieved as simply trying to put you on the spot, but that would miss the point.

Dissapointment requires expectation. If the expectation isnt met, dissapointment often follows. So what I want to know is what is the reasonable expectation, one that is fair to both the questioner, and the responder?

I have my interpretation of this, others have theirs, and it is certain that sometimes they dont match up, and dissapointment follows. If you are interested in my view point, try this link,

http://forum.hypnosis.com/showthread.php?t=1325

It seems too easy to just say courtesy and respect, because some of the people who ask questions expecting courtesy, respect, and an answer, do not show any courtesy, or respect in so doing.

And if there is something you want, such as an answer to a question, whose responsibility is it, to see that you get it?

So if you would, offer us some tips for the scenerios I mentioned, and if we could refine it sufficently to be acceptable to all, maybe we could suggest it as a guideline for both asking and answering questions.

If we did that would people read and follow it?

skip

[Terry (existing)]

Well, we could change this board to become what you THINK you need. To do so would require that all enquiries go to another computer, since computers have no personality, no feelings etc, and would hand out replies based on the question only, and not on human perceptions..... Our computer would hand out little pearls of wisdom based on the way the question was asked, and when you got a reply that made no sense, you would have nobody else to blame but yourself eh? Too bad too sad. Ceste la vie......
JOIN THE BOARD, WALK IN OUR SHOES, AND THEN REPOST. WE WILL LET YOU REPLY TO ALL QUESTIONS, AND INDEED EXPECT IT FROM YOU...

[Unhappy #2]

Two words: Good grief!

[Stoic]

Quick note before I begin, this is Unhappy guest. Thank you to some very interesting feedback my perspective has changed from discouraged to encouraged to be encouraged. With that came the first step of registration.



Don, I greatly appreciate your consideration and guidance. You are correct, some questions purposed here are very vague, and they are responsible for some of the negative feedback. I could see how that would increase the intolerance by it self. At first glance, I attributed the majority of this hostility based on the category of posters and was very disappointing to me. I have always viewed therapists of any kind to be very patient and neutral. However, on further observation you can see how the attitude of the forum can evolve based on the quantity of inappropriate questions. Why have I not noticed that on the other forums I take part in? Maybe the availability of that topic to the general untrained public is the determining point here. Consequently, that hostility has not evolved there. I do not want to be persistent, and I do realize that your experience and knowledge of this matter outweighs mine. With that said, I limit myself only to suggestions, and to prevent that evolution of hostility, preventive measures can be set.



Skip, thank you for the encouragement, I believe it is very important to promote a certain behavior pattern you prefer just to create a more you-compatible society, and in this case I think this you-compatible society you encourage is a more healthy and productive society. A valid request on your part “Disappointment requires expectation” and your reference post, leaves me with hope that some analytical minds wander these forums.

Before hand, I would like to express that since I have not contributed much to the community I cannot command the fulfillment of my expectations. One form of the word expectation typically carries a connotation of demanding. I would like to just clarify my use of expectations in a more productive and suggestive manner. An expectation I would have is for people of this profession to be much more intrigued and stimulated with any chance of offering a helping hand. One that has a vast knowledge of ones self should be much more in peace and control. Lashing out to relieve anger caused by pain does not sound too peaceful, and shows a general sense of uneasiness from inside. Now this is not in reference to any negative reply, just when done in excess. I do agree with the idea of keeping the questions to a set category well defined by Don’s post, and to maintain that some negative feedback is required. As the Buddhist call it, the middle path, moderations.

“I don’t have time to answer your question.” In some cases is an invalid excuse, because of the time and effort put in replies with negative content (which yours does not fall into). It is obvious that the excuse, again in some cases, is only a veil to cover the real intention, whatever it maybe.



I highly agree with your statement in form of a question. That it is the questioner’s obligation to himself, to be persuasive in whatever way appealing to the responder. Now the question is, how high can the responder set his standard or as you call it their expectations, before we have a significant drop in the productivity of this forum. For that we need to study the ultimate purpose, and we have guides for that, again well aware of my limited knowledge in this field, I only leave you with suggestions and new methods of examination.

[Hypnomania]

I'm very new to this forum and my experience is everything else than disappointing. I started with asking for some advice and didn't expect much and so I was very pleasantly surprised when people did take time to reply and to give me some very good advice. I really appreciate that.

On the other hand in the last couple of days I saw some very few rather harsh posts by some very few members. And I was wondering, when somebody is bothered or bored by a post why the person does answer in a unfriendly way instead of just ignoring it.

[skip]

Stoic and Hypnomania,

Let me first relate a couple of things and then maybe a specific or two.

I am on a list where the moderators expect and enforce the objectives laid down in the mission statement, and among other things they demand that new people read the FAQ. If questions are ask that are off topic, or answered in the FAQ, that poster is put on probation. If people fail to edit posts, and say copy a long post only to say "good post", they are chastized and can easily get banned for it. And the public chastizement is done in a rather ugly fashion. And if you post, you had better be ready to defend what you say, because you are dealing with many sharp minds, and they all have different takes. It is perhaps the easiest forum on the internet to be banned from for life, and it grows and grows, and the posts are substanative and on point. I suspect that is is because the signal to noise ratio is high, that the list grows, not because people are carefully treated.

I think the numbers reflect that here, we are continuing to grow, and that, despite some people's notions that folks are harshly treated. I am of the opinion that quality should take precident over quantity, when it comes to posts, but to have both is best.

There is a lady, who every once in a while reminds me that years ago, I told her that she didnt know, what she was talking about, on a forum. She recently bought a new Mercedes with the money she has generated by pursuing her dream of helping people with change methods and energy work. She is smart, has helped many people, and has contributed to her field substanatively, and has also done well for herself.

If you were to take three perceptual positions, that of me, of her, and of a third party, what lessons, if any, might be learned by the people in each of those "positions"? What about thru time?

Ive been interested in hypnosis for a long time, and at first I was very unsatisfied, all I could find were little paper backs, occasionally (like once every two or three years). There was nothing in either my public library, or the university library, that either dealt with hypnosis, or that I could remotely understand. I went hungry for about 20 years. This was prior to the internet, and yes there was a time when the internet didnt exist. Then a colleague loaned me two books, on NLP & hypnosis, and I started searching on the internet.

Wow! I dove in and havent surfaced yet.

Now maybe it is my personality, or maybe I was so hungry all those years, I dont know, but when I met with someone who was IMO rude, or unwilling to help, I simply went elsewhere for the answers I sought. I didnt have extra time to spend not getting what I wanted. Nor did I particularly care about changing them, I cared about changing me, and learning what I wanted to know. I got a lot of help too, more help than I got guff. Now looking back I realize some of those rude people werent as rude as I thought. And like the lady with the Mercedes, I have changed my view of them, and they of me.

But I never forget that wide eyed wonder and excitement, so great, that I was literally shaking, and I think that came thru when I asked. This enthuiasm should be encouraged, and nurtured. It is funny tho, it is this enthuiasm that will refuse to be denied, and can get along just fine without coddeling.

A little while back someone wrote in with a question. Several hours later when no replies had been made, the origional poster, reposted complaining that no one had replied yet. (They were obviously in a hurry) A day later the origional poster wrote in agin really griping that no ne had seen fit to reply, and yadda yadda yadda.

It never entered this poster's mind that perhaps no one knew anything about what the poster asked. And no one is going to post saying "No one knows.", because someone might.

This is a prime example of what we call mind reading. The poster mindread that people wanted to deny him the answer, when in fact apparently no one knew what to tell him. So the origional poster got mad, and told us all off, and will probably never come back here again. Too bad. I wonder sometimes what ought be done in situations like this. Is it my obligation to do the google search for this individual? I dont think so, but some people apparently believe someone should.

Stoic your statement : "An expectation I would have is for people of this profession to be much more intrigued and stimulated with any chance of offering a helping hand."

While this isnt unreasonable, it is unrealistic, IMO. Not everyone's objective is to lend a helping hand, and we see that occasionally. Everyone is here pursuing their own agenda, and we would hope that everyone would lend a hand along the way, we recognize that this is a utopian ideal, not necessarily what exists now. And even those who are willing to lend a helping hand arent always inclined to do so all the time. Nor can we expect them to.

You further said: "One that has a vast knowledge of ones self should be much more in peace and control. Lashing out to relieve anger caused by pain does not sound too peaceful, and shows a general sense of uneasiness from inside."

You are mindreading that the person doing the writing is lashing out, and further that the lashing out is based in pain and anger. Again ascribing motives that may or may not be true. I suppose the important point when you feel this way is to know that you dont know, certainly not for sure.

Hypnomania you asked: "On the other hand in the last couple of days I saw some very few rather harsh posts by some very few members. And I was wondering, when somebody is bothered or bored by a post why the person does answer in a unfriendly way instead of just ignoring it."

I have been in this business a long time. I have had fellow students, teachers, admirers, detractors, even deciples. Decipleship usually lasts only long enough to get to really know me, then they become detractors. :)

One thing I have learned is that most of us arent perfect, yet. We are all at different points along the path. Some are ahead of us, and some behind us. We are all making progress at different rates. We all have 'expectations' that we place on those ahead of us. Some are valid expectations some are not. It seems reasonable to 'expect' that those further along the path to be 'more perfect' somehow, when further along the path may really only mean more skill, and experience, and knoweledge, not perfection.

I am not going to say it is true, but I am going to say it is more useful to adopt the attitude that dissapointemnt requires preparation. That preparation comes in the form of generating unrealistic expectations. I have an alcoholic friend. I am regularly dissapointed by him. I continually expect things of him, that I know he will not fulfill, simply because they are common expectations we hold with others. Whose fault is it that I am continually dissapointed by my friend? Who is suffering from that dissapointment? Who "should" be flexable enough behaviorally, to adjust so that I am no longer dissapointed by my friend, me or him?

One last thought.

I see things differently. I have spent a lot of years teaching my neurology to respond in some specific ways to do what I wanted to do. (Everyone does this, they just dont percieve it this way) Consequently I percieve patterns in people. It takes anywhere from 5 to 15 miniutes for someone to run every pattern they use in life, and if you train yourdself you can detect them. My job is to detect them and help change them.

Once at a training, I asked a student to take a seat in the middle of the stage, a raised platform. I then told another student to watch this fellow. I said, "He will put his chair in the exact center of the platform, centered left to right, and front to back.
We watched as this guy took great pains to place his chair in the exact center of the platform.

The second student was amazed, how could I know that? Magic to him, observation to me. "Elementry my dear Watson.", eh?

Sometimes I will percieve a pattern, and respond in such a way as to interrupt the pattern, because when you interrupt a pattern, you have an opportunity for a 'teaching moment'. Lots of times it works. Sometimes people get frustrated, even though the teaching moment works. Sometimes it doesnt work at all.

What I am saying is that the knoweledgable, experienced, people here will look at a post and they will 'see' it differently than others will. They will be looking at patterns, and language, that reveals what is going on subjectively with the questioner. (Look at Language patterns and the Meta Model to unserstand what I am talking about here.) They will respond not to just the content of the post, but to the patterns and things their training and experience has shown them about the poster.

Someone who reads only the content of the post missed most of the communication, and most likely isnt going to 'understand' most of the reply.

Now Im not trying to make myself or others out to be some sort of mystical, magical, almighty gurus, sitting on a hill somewhere who can do no wrong. Sometimes like, the cartoon character, the Hulk used to say, "Its clobberin' time!" But most of the time, it is something far different.

cheers and glad to have both of you here.

skip

[shy m...]

>>Now Im not trying to make myself ... out to be some sort of mystical, magical, almighty gurus,...

Why not? It suits you, specially if you promise not to gain weight :-)

[skip]

Hooo ha, gotcha!

[Hypnomania]

@Skip

Maybe my post was misunderstandable. I would never expect that when I ask a question other people HAVE TO reply. It's nice and very generous when they do, but nobody can expect that. Especially not on the internet. If this would be a pay site, well it would be something else. But this a free site and when somebody really is upset when he doesn't get an answer to his question it's his problem. I totally agree that when you don't get the answer this way then go and find another way to get the answer. Also I don't think that anybody here or somewhere else is perfect. Perfect humans don't exist and I think that's one of the things that makes life interesting http://forum.hypnosis.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[Don]

There is another reason why some answers seem rather terse and sharp. That is because in some cases, people come in here seemingly to ask a question, but actually simply wanting their own preconceptions/misconceptions verified. They don't want answers, they want people to agree with them.

We've had some posters who start new threads repeating the same question but in different ways. Personally, I think this implies that we're all stupid and won't see what they're doing.

If you see a thread and look in it, you may seen a terse answer from a poster who has already replied two or more times in other threads to what is essentially the same questions.

Anybody can post here. That is a benefit to people who have questions. There is another hypnosis forum I know of where only paid members can participate. But it is also a problem as it allows people to come here who would spam us with advertising. The moderators delete such posts as soon as they can.

But sometimes, there are also posts by people who have psychological issues and are using the forum as a sounding board for their personal issues. They need therapy, but instead make posts. If you travel around the internet as much as I do, you'll see their posts all over the place. For example, one person I know of is a one-man advertisement for the benefits of drinking your own urine. Without debating the value of the practice (Gandhi, for example practiced this and it was taught in his ashrams), the fact that he posts about it as the answer to everything is basically him working out his own issues.

As one person has noted, the quality of the answers is reflected in the quality of the questions. When a person posts directly or indirectly about their issues, they will evoke from intuitive healers responses that will help them confront those issues. Such confrontation may appear as being angry, intolerant, or dismissive, but in the long run it is beneficial.

That's not a way I would work with someone in person, but we are not in person, we are on a forum. And that is why I try to make clear that we cannot do therapy in this forum.

[TaffyE]

Any beginner grows with knowledge over time

Agreed, none of us drive a car now when compared with when we first learned (which may or may not be a good thing :) )

This would offer a place for beginners along with intermediates and maybe a couple of experts.

I don't see the advantage to limiting the number of "experts". Surely the wider range of opinions, the more that can be learned.

[Jack]

It is interesting how individual perception varies and much depends upon the presuppositions of the observer.

It is true that some posters are very occasionally 'flamed' and usually they deserve it, being either trolls or malcontents. Mostly. But in my experience of this board I have rarely seen a severe mistake of judgement.

Of course, there are some, but the aim of the long term residents here is to help and sometimes this aim may demand hard questions, without which it is impossible to form a lucid opinion. And that is all it is, an opinion. Generally, the standard of debate is as high as the original question allows.

To 'Unhappy' - spend a little more time here and you may find it rewarding. If you do not, then farewell and good luck elsewhere.

Jack

[Don]

Jack, although I basically agree with you, I'm not sure that the best way to deal with "trolls or malcontents" is to flame them. On the other hand, giving reasonable answers to them (which they tend to reject) does not accomplish anything either.

A common saying in the usenet newsgroups is "Please do not feed the trolls," but leaving troll messages up in a forum such as this inspires responses which encourage the troll. As a moderator, however, I am loathe to delete messages with only a few exceptions (advertising, insults).

Do you have any suggestions?

[Unregistered.]

There is another reason why some answers seem rather terse and sharp. That is because in some cases, people come in here seemingly to ask a question, but actually simply wanting their own preconceptions/misconceptions verified. They don't want answers, they want people to agree with them.

We've had some posters who start new threads repeating the same question but in different ways. Personally, I think this implies that we're all stupid and won't see what they're doing.
Might it be not so much what they're doing as much as that they're asking questions that many want answered?

[Don]

Hi, Unregistered Guest (I hope you'll register and visit often!).

I know that I certainly welcome questions that one person or many people want answered.

But that was not the situation I'm talking about here. What I'm talking about is people who ask a question, get multiple answers which are similar, and then ask the same question again, perhaps in a slightly different way. They may ask this several times, sometimes including their own ideas which, unfortunately, have no basis in reality. I can understand why people would become frustrated and respond rudely. It's sort of like being asked for the 15th time on a trip, "Are we there yet?" It becomes very frustrating.

[Unregistered.]

Don,

Yes doesn't it, and we can also acknowledge too that some people ask questions not because they can't find the answer but as a form of display.

Whatever their reasons, you know there's a way of dismissing them cleanly. A moderator's lot will be a happy one.

So whenever these people appear, you can simply guide them to the FAQ button above, yes? This will explain everything you want explained to them and leave you free to carry on your day calmly and without raised blood pressure.

[skip]

I think it is your assumption that the blood pressure gets raised, irregardless of the form the response takes.

[Unregistered.]

Indeed, Skip.

It's good to know that those people demanding answers or even the impossible can be directed to the FAQ and simply forgotten about until they stop abusing your good natured hospitality.

[Terry (existing)]

Skip's comments definitely apply to me. After four heart attacks, all of which took me time to recover from, why on earth would I risk raising my blood pressure? Now, we could just refrain from comments and leave that poster hanging without creating anger, but also without them learning anything, or we can comment, raise their blood pressure by our comments, but at least let them know that their means of communcation lacks something, or their attitude does, whichever applies.....I doubt that there is one single post on this board or any other which is understood exactly in the manner in which it was intended to be understood by all readers. If you don't like the comments of a particullar poster, put them on your ignore list, I use it frequently....However, it seems foolish to complain about others and still continue to visit without change don;t you think? Ah yes, I did understand you comments that we should behave differently because we are therapists, but that doesn't mean I agree with it. A therapist is used to changing the client, not ignoring them.....

On the other hand, you have different fingers....

[trancepuppy]

I agree this intolerance of senior members must end.

They should be treated with respect, without senior members how valuable would this forum be!

tp

[pinktrance]

lol @ trancepuppys post! this says it all, dosent it?
no offence trance puppy, its your interpretation that has made me chuckle:)

[passive observer]

I noticed here is one member in particular that makes a point to use posts from new members and guests as a launching point for insults and rants. It is really sad given that this community is made up of either professionals working to help others, or people like me who are considering hypnotherapy as a profession. The rest of the community tries to help, so it is rather sad to see the insults.

One post in this thread says to make suggestions on how to make the forum better rather than just complain. I think that is correct to some extent, however just pointing out a problem can sometimes lead to improvements. My suggestion is to have some sort of self moderating system, like slashdot.org, or at least give members the ability automatically prevent from displaying comments from cronically negative members. Or, let the poster have an option to opt-out any negative members from participating in his/her thread.

Another suggestion would to give a message before submitting any posts, "Please post something positive or helpful, or don't post anything at all."

My 2 cents...

[passive observer]

My suggestion is to have some sort of self moderating system, like slashdot.org, or at least give members the ability automatically prevent from displaying comments from cronically negative

Hmmm, I found one of my suggested features.

[not evil]

I think someone suggested to look at the announcement for new users...funny cause the views are at "666".

Almost as if the negative energy surrounding this thread has leaked out into the code of the board. Strange coinsidence, yes...can I spell, no...what I'd like everyone to consider is that all power corrupts to a degree. We are only human and sometimes we forget that "text" is without emotion. Yes emoticons are used to some extent, but sometimes outward sarcasm looks downright mean due to the lack of seeing a person talk.

I mean we all understand this basic fact that communication is visual, and text get's mis-understood very easily.

I don't recall if anyone said this, but sometimes the old addage "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all", but we all know we need to express an opinion, that's why we are here isn't it?

[Jack]

Sorry Don, I got your question late.

I remember on the old board we had 'Dr Nurse' and he/she/it was tolerated, occasionally flamed and mostly fed. There is no real solution other than an 'ignore' button and that can easily stifle debate as posters ignore those whose views they don't agree with, which further leads to incomprehensibility in a linear debate.

A free board should be just that, as long as the number of trolls doesn't get out of hand, and then maybe you have to use your thunderbolt to strike down and cull the numbers, perhaps leaving the entertaining ones.

Ah, the responsibilities of a god.:)

Jack


Jack, although I basically agree with you, I'm not sure that the best way to deal with "trolls or malcontents" is to flame them. On the other hand, giving reasonable answers to them (which they tend to reject) does not accomplish anything either.

A common saying in the usenet newsgroups is "Please do not feed the trolls," but leaving troll messages up in a forum such as this inspires responses which encourage the troll. As a moderator, however, I am loathe to delete messages with only a few exceptions (advertising, insults).

Do you have any suggestions?