Difficulties Removing a Phobia

[Miklos]

Hello, for the past few months I have tried to deal with and hopefully diminish or eliminate my phobia of public speaking (which really disturbs my everyday life). I've tried many different forms of therapy, and have come to think that nlp is my best chance. The problem is, I can't find the triggers to my phobia and the phobia cure doesn't work for me. Why? Because unlike most phobics, I can't summon my fear at will just by thinking of a situation that in real life would produce intense feelings of panic. Have any of you run into this sort of thing? Do you have any suggestions about how I could induce my fear at will? (I know that sounds like a strange thing to want, but I think that if I could do that I would be able to find and exploit my triggers). Thanks

[Simple Guy]

Miklos,

I've no idea why you feel a need to "summon" up your fear, but I can tell
you that a self-help route for an issue that has survived "many different
forms of therapy" isn't the best way to go. Best suggestion: find a
competent hypnosis/NLP professional for assistance with this.

[EC]

Just to lend a little support to Simple's statement:

I once knew a fellow that considered himself to be quite a gardner. A "green thumb" as they say. Said he could just sit, stare at his plants and magically they would grow and flourish. So he gets this problem with erections. He just couldn't grow one. So he applies the "green thumb", he would get the offender out, talk to it, stare at it, caress it....

And,

Well he no longer has the problem, in fact he no longer has the the offender. Seems that his green thumb therapy massaged a little too much fertilizer, or other toxins into ole willy and he grew alright, into a great big tumor that had to be amputated.

Now I'm not saying that you would need a lobotomy if you persist in doing brain surgery on yourself, but sometimes it is prudent to let the professionals do the massaging....

For what it's worth,
EC

[Terry (existing)]

Now that reply took time and thought, and is most appreciated (G)..... Hope the intended recipient feels that way too......

[EC]

Happy to entertain,,,,

EC

[Pdrive]

I think you deserve an award for that one EC. Nice story, erickson would be proud.;)

[rodimus]

Using anchoring and creative visualisation may help your case.Good luck!

[Miklos]

I've no idea why you feel a need to "summon" up your fear, but I can tell
you that a self-help route for an issue that has survived "many different
forms of therapy" isn't the best way to go. Best suggestion: find a
competent hypnosis/NLP professional for assistance with this.
Well, I once had a session with someone who claimed he could cure any phobia in fifteen minutes. It turns out that this guy's skills were very limited- all he tried was the nlp phobia cure with me, and when it didn't work he became so frustrated as to say that I must not have the phobia. I've also worked with other therapists (who didn't use nlp) and they too became frustrated with my inability to change. This has led me to wonder whether I'm just very resistant to change or maybe something out there has the potential to help. This is why I've resorted to self-help because I hate wasting my money and therapists' time.

Maybe anchoring is the best route for me.

[Hypnomania]

I've also worked with other therapists (who didn't use nlp) and they too became frustrated with my inability to change

I do not really believe that something like inability to change exists. My guess is that you either have been very unlucky with your therapists and they have not been very skilled or maybe deep inside you do not really want to change and so you block the change.

[Merlin]

Hello Miklos,

Sorry to hear of your difficulties :(

>Have any of you run into this sort of thing?

Not really. You see, I start with hypnosis which makes accessing those feelings very easy.

>Do you have any suggestions about how I could induce my fear at will?

I suppose that is possible, but is that what you really want?
To access fear?
It seems to me that your desire is to end the fear and that this comment is just that you believe you need to access/induce the fear for your end desire to be free of this fear.
Fortunately, you don't need to learn to induce this fear first :)

>(I know that sounds like a strange thing to want, but I think that if I could do that I would be able to find and exploit my triggers)

Maybe yes, maybe no.
It's best to work with someone else because they have perspectives you don't.

[Shlomo_NLP]

well, just start by picking up one trigger, use the phobia cure pattern and see how it works... if it doesn't, pick up a different trigger.

another faster option would be to go to an experienced NLP practitioner who can calibrate and elicitate your fear and then remove it.

and after all, we'd all gather together you'll give us a speech on how it helped you :-)

[Simple Guy]

Shlomo,

It's been my experience that removing fears is done successfully in
almost all cases without eliciting fears. Is this not your experience?

[Miklos]

So most of you agree that nlp is best used to help someone with a problem with the assistance of an experienced practitioner. I have to say, though, that I've enjoyed reading and learning about nlp and trying to put its principles and techniques to use. It's been an adventure for me. At this point, however, I'm willing to concede that I need help. This brings me to another question- in your opinion are nlp sessions effective if done over the phone? I'm asking this because that broadens my options considerably.

[rodimus]

there is no need to bring back a fear to cure it. In fact i think its best not to.

you can dissolve the fear by 'attacking' it with creative visualisation of doing the thing you fear confidently and enjoying it.

Try this, the next time u remember a joke till you laugh til your belly hurts, that is the time to think about the phobia/fear. Sometimes, the fear is only the belief in fear.

[Guest]

"Hello, for the past few months I have tried to deal with and hopefully diminish"

Maybe trying and hoping is all you desire?

Maybe you don't expect to be a great speaker because of the many positive implications this will have on your lifestyle. As you imagine focusing and noticing yourself delivering great speeches and your audience amused by your great motivational power, what does that feel like to hear people clapping with joy and seeing yourself smile with pride and a great job done. And I expect you will be finding a great way to help yourself properly this time!

[DrTadJames]

You know, you are not unusual. Many people who have phobias cannot get in touch with fear at will. While the Phobia Model works best with people who are able to get in touch with ANY event where there was fear in the past. The process in NLP does not require the causative event, which is generally required for Time Line Therapy.

Now, having said that, you don't REALLY need to get in touch with any fear from the past at all when you use the "New Orleans Flexibility Drill". In this case you just put yourself in the situation that causes the fear, and then collapse the fear with a massive positive resource anchor.

Unfortunately, I have never been sure how to do that on myself, because many of the techniques in NLP require that you work with someone else. But even a Practitioner of NLP should be able to do the process with you for not a lot of $$.

Personally I have never seen someone for this problem and not had it go away.

Remember to have fun.

[Alonso]

I have a question, what is it that you want to do, or think you can do, with your feeling of fear once you summon it?

[Miklos]

I have a question, what is it that you want to do, or think you can do, with your feeling of fear once you summon it?

My idea was that if I could get my feelings of fear going strong, I could discover what the trigger in my mind is- maybe and image, internal talk, whatever thought that might cause it. However, at this point I think my fear is what L. Michael Hall, founder of neurosemantics, would call a meta-fear. In other words, I fear ideas and fear itself. This does not respond well to the phobia cure, not only in theory but as I said in an earlier post, a therapist was unsuccessful when using it with me.

[Alonso]

The phobia cure, to quote Richard Bandler "does not work, its not fast enough."I guess this means once it kicks in, what's the point? I used the phobia cure itself and it did work. Hey, I felt the fear, but somehow I knew I had it under control, the fear was slowly dissipating instead of hitting me right in the face!

I think too much off something, like neurosemantics or meta models, are not good things when you feel you are far away from grasping them. Concentrate on your fear and how to get rid of it, in the now, live in the now and not in the "ah yes, I have a fear of public speaking" then.

Since you seem to have the will to actually do something about this, and I mean the money, buy some of Bandler's work. Try his "Unfearing Decisions and Soften More" tape, its great. And, the induction he practices cures things like really bad drug addictions which mean this are really strong techniques, I mean, really good ones. Go ahead, buy the one tape, I'm pretty sure you'll do just fine after that.