Anchoring a non-existent state?

[Oki Mo]

If one wishes to install an anchor for a state which one has never experienced, how could this be done – for example, someone wants to install a “confidence” anchor, but because of a personal history of extreme abuse, this person cannot recall even one single time in his life where he was confident about anything.

[Excellence]

New orleans flexibility drill. Put them in the state of mind of someone else who was having the feelings that you want him to have. What do you think person X felt when he was feelings those deep feelings of Y?

He may not be able to put himself in that situation, but he can put himself in the situation of someone else that his mind has no problem putting in that situation, even if he doesn't realize it.

[DrMattJames]

Hi Oki Mo,

There are three types of states one can anchor. They are naturally occurring states (states occurring in the moment), vividly recalled past states (memories from the past where the state occurred) and made up states.

The order that I have listed these three are from most preferable to anchor to least preferable to anchor. Therefore, a made up state is the least preferable state to anchor and may be the least effective state and it can be done.

[skip]

Are they SURE they cant find anything?

Can they tie their shoes? Are they sure of that?

[Oki Mo]

Skip
If I understand your reply correctly, you are saying that every human being experiences every human emotion at some or other time, to a greater or lesser extent. I agree with that – there must have been some act, no matter how trivial, which he accomplished, which would have generated some level of confidence, even if insignificant. Then maybe the fault lies with my limited knowledge of the subject – I presumed that if one wanted to anchor confidence, one would need to access a time where one felt a large degree of confidence – what would be the point of anchoring enough confidence to move a grain of sand, when you expect to be confronted by a mountain?

[skip]

OkiMo,

How confident were they, that they were going to get more abuse, when their abuser came home, with that look in their eye?

It isnt about what you are confident about, it is the degree of confidence, that you wish to anchor.

I suspect that your friend is sure they can tie their shoes. So sure that it is actually a foregone conclusion, and if you were to ask them if they really, really were sure, they would look at you as if you were crazy. Thats pretty darn confident isnt it?

Or if you were to ask them if they need to breath air to stay alive, they would say yes. If you asked if they were sure about that, if you were to produce a plastic bag and wish to test it, they would indicate that they were very sure, no need to test. If you were to ask them if they would fight you, if you put the bag over their head, I suspect they would be absolutely certain, they would fight for air, dont you?

Ill bet this person is certain of their gender too. Ill bet if you were to call their gender into question, I mean rewally press them on it, they would respond with a state of absolute certainty!

So you, by asking those questions in that way, have elicited three contextual states where they are absolutely certain, with total confidence. I know you anchored those states and stacked those anchors.

This is the "mega" state you wanted, the confidence level is absolute.

Now both you and they know they have the ability to be absolutely confident, they an feel it when you fire the anchor. Your next job is to cross contextualize that state to the context where currently they are unsure. you probably want to build in a little temperence, because in some contexts, absolute confidence, is percieved as arrogance. Nothing wrong with having the confidence, but the way you express it, is important too.

A note of prudence here. Most people who say they lack confidence, actually have great confidence that they are going to fail. What is really operating, is that they dont trust themselves to succeed. That is a different animal from confidence, and helping them learn to trust themselves, is a very different game. Fun though, great fun.

cheers,

skip

[Oki Mo]

Gotcha - thanks Skip, that's brilliant!