Training Question

[hiddeninclouds]

Hi All,

I have a question regarding NLP training courses. From everything that I have read so far, it seems as though lack of success in interacting with a client is due to the person interacting not modifying their approach as appropriate in the moment.

Although very different from NLP, when I would attend martial arts training I sometimes noticed a problem where people your training with may flow with blocks rather than striking with the intent to hit the person. So basically you end up training in an experience very different from being attacked in real life which takes away from your training. Can / Does anything of this nature occur in NLP training?

[Connie]

My teacher told the story of how his NLP work got him in "the zone" to win a fencing tournament--and win he did! That's not what you're asking though, is it? :)

You're talking about being in synch? Rapport! Getting in good rapport with your client is a two-way street, it enhances their confidence in you, but makes you and your work more potent as well. You see what they need, you feel what they need, your intention and desire to help is great(er), and you go from there.

[hiddeninclouds]

Here is a funny video that I think helps describe what I'm asking

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_vvI26NnwE&eurl=http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=in+living+color+karate&sitesearch=

'you attacked me wrong'

What I'm asking is that if a client is 'too knowledgeable' of what your attempting or 'too accepting' of your suggestions can it have a similar effect as if in martial arts you train with someone that isn't 'realistic' in their interaction with you?

[Connie]

Your question reminds me of a question asked by a high school student the other day...I was presenting a talk to his class. I was discussing "the handshake interrupt" and he wanted to know if it wouldn't work if the person knew it was coming. Excellent question, I thought! It still works! Perhaps better, because the recipient knows its power.

Same with your training buddies. If they understand and KNOW the power of NLP and have experienced or witnessed some transformation during class exercises already, they should throw themselves into it (it being more class exercises) with full passion. Their "knowledge" or "acceptance" should be a plus.

My hubby, who's a black belt in karate, once was sparring with someone with a bo (wooden stick) and hit him in the head (the guy didn't block properly) and drew blood! That should be a good lesson to the partner to put more passion into it. You lead... Don't accept your partners' lukewarm nonpassion for the class exercises, you get passionate yourself!

[Connie]

I re-read my answer. And I see I'm making assumptions. :p

But I like what I said anyway. Pace, and lead. If the martial art interaction is getting into that click click click rhythm, you break it. Pump it up a notch! Make it real.

Your question seems to be does knowledge and acceptance of an NLP process lead to a lack of success when you're working in the trainings? I would think it would be just the opposite.

[Poodle]

Does NLP work as well on NLPers as nonNLPers? YES! You have just finished Master Prac. Do you believe you can learn a thing or two more from another trainer? No two people train exactly the same. No two people that you interact with that are also Master Prac's will be exactly the same. No two clients will ever be the same. No two classes with the same trainer are the same as the dynamics change. This is one reason we don't teach much in the "techniques" department as that is something that you should now be able to devise yourself now. Isn't it interesting how The Fast Phobia Cure became The Fast PTSD Cure with just a couple of little changes. Even Richard Bandler keeps reinventing NLP. You will probably never reach the end of it in this lifetime as everything continually changes. If not, it grows stagnant and dies. Are you so absolutely fantastic with The Meta Model that you can pick up any book and outline every sentence? How about with The Milton Model too?

This would be like asking does hypnosis work as well on hypnotists. Yeppers. Even better because we know it's true power and we believe in it with our "hole" minds. No SOM here -- "Hypnotizing hypnotists can be tricky". ;)

Be well,
Pood

[skip]

Your question presupposes that there must be some element of surprise in order for hypnosis to work.

And there are some types of people, for whom, at times, this would be true.

But for most people, surprise is not only not necessary, but framiliarity facilitates it.

And then there are trance puppies ...

cheers,

skip

[Merlin]

The idea is to have your client cooperate, not to compete with you.
If they won't cooperate, send them on their way.

[Poodle]

The meaning of your communication is the response you get back.

Darn!

How many replies have we had and Merlin is the only one that unraveled what you wrote.

I highly suspect you can do a much better job of communicating a question to be answered.

Pood :)

[hiddeninclouds]

Thanks for the comments all :)

Pood, thanks for the comments on my comments (some of the most valuable comments!)

[Soren K (existing)]

Although very different from NLP, when I would attend martial arts training I sometimes noticed a problem where people your training with may flow with blocks rather than striking with the intent to hit the person. So basically you end up training in an experience very different from being attacked in real life which takes away from your training. Can / Does anything of this nature occur in NLP training?

A good teacher would tell you to train with intent. To train with intent does not mean to harm your training partner, nor do you train in a scenario comparible to real life. I train mixed martial arts tue, wed, thu and every sunday morning. We spar (roll) in jui jitsu, we spar in thai boxing, we spar in Kali/FMA. Even when sparring we are training - teaching each other what will happen if you do this or this or that - it's not verbal, and it is respectful. Sometimes new students come in, get through their initial training and come into sparring with the attitude to prove themselves, you can get injured with these guys. I was sparring in Thai Boxing a couple of weeks ago with a new student, and he was chopping thai kicks into my ribs left right and knocking lumps into my head. I had to explain to him, that I was about ready to be having a fight with him, and he should ease up a bit - the idea with sparring is not to be having a fight, its about learning. That's part of the difference, between training and reality. In reality there's not always a way to calm things, in reality, adrenalin is pumping, in reality there is real danger no matter how good you are. But in training, you are looking to learn and help others practice techniques. A good teacher will insist you train with intent. That does not mean assaulting your training partner, but it doesn't mean acting like a p**** either! Often our instructor gets on the case of the class here, 'people fought and died developing these arts some of you are waving your stick around like a bunch of fairies, put some fight in it!' So, you have to have some confidence in what you're doing. Yes, it will always be better.

I noticed in the vid you posted (which was quite amusing really!) at the end was a nice demonstration of the NLP pattern quotes: :)

"Quotes is a wonderful pattern. If any of you have clients who work at jobs and have resentment for their bosses or fellow employees, but who can't really express it because it's inappropriate, or they might get fired or something, teach them the pattern of quotes in language. It's marvellous because they can walk up to their employer and say "I was just out on the street and this man walked up to me and said '[I]You're a stupid jerk'. And I didn't know what to say to him. What would you do if somebody wlaked up to you and said 'You'r a jerk'? Just right out on the street you know".
B&G, Frogs into Princes, p62Incidentally, if someone who doesn't like you comes up and says something like that to you, you might consider, <said with sincerity> "yeah someone came up to me once and said something similar for no apparent reason, what was it they said? 'you are a fool' yes that's it 'you are a fool', and it took me quite aback for a moment, as I stood there pondering why they might be saying it I thought to myself, 'this person should really say what his problem is', and I pointed my finger at him like this <points finger>, and said to him 'you are well out of order'. That seemed to shut him up - and to my surprise he came to me later, apologised and explained to me what his real problem was, and we managed to resolve it. I actually developed a great deal of respect for him for that - isn't it interesting how things turn out when people come clean about their issues? Perhaps that will happen in your case? How did you respond?" :D